You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
I was speaking with a friend recently about the power of influence, or the art of seduction, and being an “Alpha” and the like. It made me think about various principles I’ve cultivated over the years through reading and experience. During our conversations I compiled some into notes.
When it comes to seduction, you must approach it as a job. In fact, sales and seducing women are almost one in the same. In fact, these are universal principles for influencing just about anyone. It’s about charisma, its about control, its about composure, and keeping your cool. It’s about a performance.
It’s never about romance. It’s about domination. The word Dominate is derived from the Latin word domino meaning Lord. It’s about Lording over people. You possess the power, and you dictate the flow of events, you determine outcomes. You never relinquish power.
How does one do this?
It requires instantiating a massive ego.
The path of the art of influence and seduction is an empty one, but that’s not why we do it. We do it to appeal to a higher reality. Once you choose to reclaim your power, your life will never be the same, and you will never look at people the same way again.
You can lead, or be led. I would prefer my fate be entrusted in the hands of no man but myself. I dictate my destiny, and no one else. As a result, I dictate the destinies of everyone with a weaker will around me.
Arthur Schopenhauer opened his book The World as Will and Representation with the following words: “The world is my representation”.
Once you realize this truth, you can begin exerting and projecting your reality upon the world. The stronger your ego, the stronger your reality, the stronger your version of truth, the stronger your will: the more influential and powerful you become. This truth we refer to as Frame Control.
Frame Control is an important concept that encapsulates many of the other commandments. It involves understanding that reality is within you, within the mind, not the other way around. This is where strength is derived, as Marcus Aurelius described. No one or no thing dictates your reality but you.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look to good, nor talk too wise.
The following principles are in no particular order. There are many not included, and many I could write extensively on. Many of these commandments overlap, but emphasizing them differently is valuable enough to repeat them.
- Frame control: you dictate reality; never react.
- You don’t need anyone or anything: always be prepared and willing to walk away; never be dependent; never chase, you are never desperate
- Exude masculine centeredness: I am the eternal alpha and omega.
- Master amused indifference: you are not impressed.
- Silence is golden: it is the mark of self-control; it emanates power.
- 2/3 rule: for every call, message, or time they give you, you give 2/3; they must work harder for attention and time than you. Always.
- Be terse: Let them hang on your word. Send one text/ message at a time. No consecutive follow up messages.
- Soft Negs: never respond directly to a request or question; never directly give them what they want or directly tell them what they want to hear.
- DBAA: Don’t be an asshole
- Create mystery: never reveal too much; always have them curious
- Make them vulnerable: ask penetrating questions, expose their weaknesses and insecurities
- Have a mission: never put a female first; your mission guides your daily activity, and females are scheduled around it at your convenience. E.g. Career. Gym.
- Power postures: maintain open body language and occupy as much space as possible; stand up straight, hold your head high; you are dominant
- Eye contact: look through them, into their soul, past their attempts to deceive you with beauty and pleasure
- Possess extreme self-confidence: and be able to back it up; show it, don’t tell it. Insecurities are repulsive. Don’t ever be cocky. You don’t ever need to impress anyone. You don’t compete with anyone; no one can compete with you.
- Make an impression: command respect; you must stand out; never blend in. Dress well, curate high status appearances, refine a healthy look, an outstanding physique, be exceptional.
- Keep it simple:“it is futile to explain with many things what can be explained by only a few things” (Ockham); do not overthink, ever; do not be wordy, do not over intellectualize, unless you are strategically employing the intellect to impress, but ensure you do it well.
- Keep them guessing: never reveal your true motives; employ red herrings
- When they give themselves to you, take as much as possible
- Scarcity principle: the more scarce, the more valuable, and the higher demand; you want what you can’t have; your time and attention are precious; do not be generous with either; they are earned by loyalty, devotion, obedience, and proper behavior.
- Never reveal weakness.
- Be optimistic; maintain a positive attitude and outlook; be inspiring.
Whenever I feel myself slipping from my centeredness, from my control, whenever I feel dependent on things outside of me, approval, affection, love, attention– I meditate on these principles.
Power is tolerable only on condition that it mask a substantial part of itself. Its success is proportional to its ability to hide its own mechanisms.