confidaunt

well. however incredibly financially unstable i see myself at the moment, im consciously alright with it. i seem to have found a ray of positivity thats created enlightened outlook for me. hm. so ive got a good attitiude. i feel confident in my abilities and somewhat driven. i feel this way when i take action. my god. ACTION. it gets me off. being PRO active. holllyyyy. thats the stuff i live for. anything thats gonna progress me in any manner, may it be mental and even physical. i just need to be consistent with these optimistic spurts of joy and clarity. hm. i dunno. right now its all good. dont worry. dont hate. dont fear. and dont procrastinate. as long as i subconsciously avoid these things i will succeed to the highest level.

and ive been thinking about god lately. excuse me. God. that dude. that energy. that entity. God is a lifestyle. its a spiritual lifestyle. im convinced that materialistic and tangible pleasures are going to leave me feeling, and probably everyone else thats ever tried to find attainable happiness in those things, completely unstatisfied and even drive me crazy chasing them. i think the only real satisfaction can be found in a spiritual world. and i think if you are spiritually healthy that maybe, just maybe, the physical world we swim in will get a little more pleasant. i say that a little sarcastically almost because i believe itll get alot better if youre spiritually in tune. anyway.

alot more than that but its all good for now. i miss relationships. some people just like disappearing and running off and im not in a position to chase, more or less, after them.they know im here.

psh.