It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
Herman Melville

so i watched this movie “the Secret”
its about the laws of attrraction and how you can get whatever you want outta life if you understand this law. if its money. if its fame. if its women. if its violence. if its to be creative. if its a house. WHATEVER YOU WANT. just by controlling and understanding the importance of controlling your everythought. obviously its a bit deeper than that. so. im gonna learn more about it and i recommend HIGHLY you watch the movie. it WILL blow you away.


check this.

my friend came down from college and he was boasting about his rediculous drinking habits cuz he’s greek and all. frat crap. so im like oh yea you think you can drink lets go at it. well by the end of the night we bought two cases of beer and wandered out to a bar buying more and more shots. if you do the math we had about 15 beers and 4 shots of grand marnier a piece. all in a matter of a couple hours. needless to say i found him naked, in a pool of vomit, on my couch in the morning. and the vomit definately extended to every corner of the room. in places you couldnt even imagine. ya. the rents were pissed. and i ended up cleaning it up. gotta love the kid.

In addition to passing out, the girl he tried picking up came back to my pool. We went skinny dipping, which is about the time his vomiting began to occur. We all head inside. I take this girl and jump in the shower. Flood the bathroom. Go back to my room and make love all night. My dad wakes up at 6am to read the bible, and steps in a puddle. Thinking it was my dogs piss, he goes up stairs and lets my mom have it. She insists the dog is in the kennel. He goes down and inspects again, following the vomit to the couch. When we makes it there, he peers over and finds my friends pretty much naked body caked in vomit. Vomit was in every corner of the room. He goes up to my room to let me have it and, don’t you know, finds me in bed with a naked girl. Needless to say, he wasn’t too happy.


i joined a training facility so i started doin muay thai and jiu-jitsu. ive always wanted to do some kinda martial arts… and while this isnt so traditional its probably better. a bunch of guys just training, beating the shit outta bags, sparring, pounding eachother. its pretty good shit. im slowly learning all that tech jiu-jitsu stuff. similar to wrestling except instead of pinning your opponent you rip is arm off in some submission. im looking forward to getting good. and the muay thai is just a matter of me practicing all those knees and high kicks and combos. its allll good stuff. im loving it. not to mention its a phenomenal workout. anyway.


where are you girl? shes out there. thinking “where are you boy?” hm.the time in between feels so unecessary. i need her to get my attention. to capture my senses. to join my on my journey. if i must wait.. ill be patient. id rather be lonely than with someone whos intended for someone else.


its been said that leaders are often lonely people.

they are ahead of the pack. constantly finding new alternatives to better living, while continually renewing their outlook on life. they dont depend on anyone elses ideas but create thier own. they dont get caught up in the crowd. they dont settle for mediocrity. they are bold and certain. they dont surround themselves with a secure group of friends. they’re constantly looking for new people to meet and befriend. they’re connections are as deep as they are wide.


the people im surrounding myself with arent getting me where i need to go. they are pretty much doin nothing but getting fucked up; i dont wanna get fucked up. having a good time is good only when your priorities are in order. im not gonna be a loser getting fucked up my whole life OR put myself around those people. so im overhauling. gently. and ill be there when they need me but i cannot keep myself occupied with them. there are other things i can do that would better suit my exerted energies. psh. im a lil aggrivated right now. and i dont need/ want to be.


right now.. and i mean at this moment…i dont wanna know anyone. i wanna live in a hole and think and do what i want. and read. forever. and honestly drink coffee in a tree. or maybe on some moss surrounded by ferns. and continue reading into the day until i find myself in a flowery grassy meadow where the rivers gurgling is heard not too far off. and i can read and smoke a pipe. and drink tea. and sit under a great tree thats wide and full with life. and ill sit under it in the middle of a field. and maybe that girl will be waiting there. and we’ll sit there and read and reflect and have intelligent conversations. and not worry about time or anything like that. ill have a pocket watch(only for looks) and she’ll be wearing a white dress and ill only be wearing jeans. and ill have long blonde hair and she’ll have long flowing blonde hair. and there will be a path i follow home thats been trodden with barefeet all summer long. i want to be able to breath deep and with every last breath, savor the aroma of life all around me. the nectar and the blossuming flowers and the lush green leaves. i really want to get lost in a book. and nevermind the little bugs that fall onto the pages, but shoo them along and smile. i want to climb trees and pick apples and look at the beautifully pristine blue sky dotted with white cotton clouds and the suns soft rays. i want to look up at lively weathered trees as tall as sky scapers and run through the forest. i want to go home to a cozy cottage with all the necessities and none of the excessities;). i want to have a little wood stove and a little wood table with little wood stools and a little wood desk tucked away in the corner by the window. i want a library and a bedroom lined with decor from my adventures. there will be no wants or needs. i will provide for myself and her. and there will be no distractions. no image. no drama. no lies. no wants. no evil. nothing unecessary or distracting from living a simple and fulfilling life of happiness and the persuit of knowledge and wisdom. i want a pretty little woman with no selfish desires left because ive taken care of all her needs. because i love her. and she’ll love me.

and when i gather all the wisdom a man can carry ill go out into the world and share it with everyone. and everyone will listen because im wise and ill know how to appeal to the longings of their deepest desires.and they will know everything i say to be true because it will be the sweetest thing they’ve every heard. and ill share with them my secrets and many men will find true meaning and they will share this meaning as i have done. and slowly the world will become a better place.

until then. i need to focus on developing myself despite my circumstances so one day this might happen.



if i ever experience love in my life, i consider myself a success. im not so sure there are people who’ve ever had the priviledge of giving as much thought and consideration as they would for themselves, to someone else. eh. im a complete hypocrit when it comes to the subject matter of love. i feel thats its as easily attainable as it is unattainable and i feel that in my current state of mind {however inebriated that may be} i could search a lifetime and come up emptyhanded. Is there something inside of me i havet found thats preventing me from finding love or have i just overlooked one too many girls who’ve caught my eye.


ha. i was reflecting today. i read alot. i worked alot. im drained.

anyway… so i was thinking of the innocence i experienced as a child. i remember going to wedding events as a lil boy all decked out in his little overalls and a little polo. i had brilliantly white hair that was carefully parted to one side. anyway i remember everyone would feverishly kiss me and hug me and all the family members would just show me endless amounts of affection (italians obviously). i, by the way, wanted nothing more than to left alone and thought of as a tough guy. i wanted nothing to do with being kissed as a boy. so i struck up deals and began charging people per kiss. ha. thinking back on that i laughed to myself. i was no more than lets say 5. i mustve collected well over a hundred big ones during every event surrounding those years. i was a lil business man.

quote of the day:
“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance. It is the illusion of knowledge.”
aka. no one knows it all. dont think you know it all. youll never grow.