about as boring as a rock. until you crack it open. and maybe youll find something of worth. and maybe youll find something completely useless. if youre creative you can take that boring rack and make it work for you. you can see it for what it really is and unlock a hidden potential passed over so many times before. i wonder if the rock knows.


I over think way too much. Im finally going to school. which is a relief. Im pretty unsatisfied at the moment. Im looking to do something drastic if I dont find something interesting soon. eat, sleep, work, lift. where the fuck is my social life. I wish i kept up with it. Im fuckin crazy. i need stimulation. what the hell is wrong with me. Its fled from me. The cornstarch in my pants is making me chaf. im not wearing pants. what the fuck. im so bent up right now. Ive been inside the majority of the day. totally unmotivated.I feel pretty damn shitty. What i want are people. and where the fuck are they. I havent kept up with it. damnitt. no problemo. its easy doc. im chillin bro. llama. what the hell is the llama doing. money is such a damn problem. is i had all the money is the world i wouldnt care so much. about anything for that matter. i could do whatever the fuck i want. gosh.

so anyway.

success is something you attract by the person you become.


super health mode

im in super workout mode. i got unhealthy the past month or so. it affects the mind after awhile. i mean… if you arent physically feeling well… chances are you arent gonna be in the best of spirits. and with a splash of alcohol every other night its a formula for choas. so yea. ive been uppin the attention to detail to everything i eat. im workin out roughly 800am give or take every morning with a evening jog to sweat out any other energies before i go to bed. yaaa. health is mega important. the virginia tech shootings were today. its ashame. my hearts broken really. this world is so lost. they wanna up the laws for prevention… but they dont realize america breeds this kind of person. the media, entertainment, etc is a promotional advertisement selling that kind of behavior. its sick. its a Godless society. no character or moral foundation. everythings politically correct. the end is near i tell you.

Stained Glass Windows


People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.-Kubler-Ross


A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Continue reading “Stained Glass Windows”


im currently trying to learn how to be wise with my money. i think if i learn a few habits and implement them through discipline ill reap great rewards. due to my young age, i have years to earn great wealth. I think the sooner the better and why not start learning how to manage a little money instead of learning to manage alot when great risks, such as my families well being, are at stake as a result of my negligence. learn through mistakes. i should start weeding out those detrimental habits of thinking now. get them out of my system so that i can clearly see what works and what doesnt. clearly my current level of thought and standards of spending have brought me no where near wealthy or even put me on the right path.. Im making a resolve to keep one tenth of everything i earn, never letting that money escape from me in a lifetime, and the rest pay off debts, save, and continue to support my living standards. eventually i can have enough to make wise investments and multiply the capital. anyway. nighttt


by Patrick

1) Whatever begins to exist at some point in time has a unique state of information derived from outside itself.
a. It could be said that the universe began as a single quantum event, but the universe must have gotten its quantum state of information from outside itself anyways. Furthermore, even quantum events must have a unique initial set of conditions and, therefore, “instructions” (i.e. logical rules or patterns, e.g., “if electron A flies too close to electron B = ‘repel'”).
2) History has its end in the present (the future is not history). So, if the past was of infinite duration, an infinity came to its end, but this is a self-contradiction since infinity never stops (Luke Wadel; derived from the Kalam Cosmological argument).
3) Similarly, by Olber’s Paradox, the universe is finite in size because the night sky is not a solid color of starlight (i.e. if the universe was infinite, there would be an infinite number of stars which would light the night sky).
4) So, by 2 and 3, the universe began to exist, and by 1, something “instructed” it by supplying it with initial information from outside itself.
5) By Godel’s incompleteness proof (supplimental explanation at the end), these instructions (as logical systems) cannot be demonstrated to be true by using the logical machinery of the system unless moving up to a time of “metasystem”, therefore, they are not derived from the system called “universe” (we could incorporate information theory as the logical structure of the universe, by the way).
6) However, logical instructions or systems cannot ultimately exist apart from some mind.
7) Therefore, a mind “instructed” the universe into initial existence since logical instructions cannot originate apart from some mind.
8) There must be a limit to the degrees of mind because if there were no end to intelligent levels, then God is not the end of the line since there is a mode of mind more intelligent than he is. However, let God or God’s mind = G. Let’s also define G as infinite since the potential is unbounded (i.e. G = infinite). Furthermore, let G’ = infinite + 1 (G’ means “G prime”; something other than God). “Infinite + 1” still equals infinite, therefore, G’ = infinity.
9) By the transitive principle, if G = infinity, and G’ = infinity, then G = G’. So, G’ must be a part of G if not G itself. Therefore, there is nothing that can be smarter or more intelligent than G as infinite and less than G’s.
10) All other minds are, are therefore, finite, but by 5 there are hierarchies. Furthermore, the universe cannot hold all types of intelligent minds because there is a limit placed on energy and the amount of minds it can hold. Hence finite minds cannot be sustained indefinitely in hierarchal levels. So, the number of hierarchal minds must be finite at all times of existence even though the potential is infinite.
11) By Godel’s incompleteness proof, the highest hierarchy must be infinite. So, either the highest mind is infinite, or there are an infinite number of finite mind hierarchies. However, as in 2, these hierarchies would never come to an end and we could not reach our present state of human existence. They, therefore, must be finite (as in 9)
12) Let’s assume that God did not directly “instruct” or create our universe, but that some other finite mind created it instead.
13) However, by 1 and 5, God is ultimately responsible for creating that mind, and by 7-9, he creates all minds as the limit to the Godelian hierarchy (i.e. there must be nothing greater than the infinite).
14) Since no other mind can create God, he must exist uncaused out of necessity to the Godelian hierarchy which is finite.
15) Therefore, God exists and he created the universe by either creating it directly (as the mind in 6), or by creating the minds that lead up to its creation.

Essence of Godel’s incompleteness proof:

Let us call a particular system of logic, “Tom” the computer. Tom is supposed to know the truth or falsity of any statement (by following a set of instructions). Anyone can test Tom’s infallibility. All Tom has to do is spit out the answer of “true” or “false”. However, there is one statement that we know the truthity of that Tom cannot demonstrate to be true. It is:

Statement A: “Tom cannot prove this statement to be true”.

The answer could not be “true” because then the statement will have been falsified, and if “false”, then Tom will have arrived at a false conclusion. A paradox! It is only when we move up a higher order system of “human” logic that we find the answer to be “true”. Hence, the information must be derived from outside the computer system of instructional logic. That is, we know that “Tom cannot prove this statement to be true” is true but only from outside its system.


Be careful with who you associate yourself with. This is a topic Ive read extensively about and its weighed heavily on my heart.

There are people who are going up and people who are going down… or essentially nowhere. you only want to put yourself around those you can learn from. Those who inspire and encourage you to grow as they do. Its easy to find those willing to pull you down. its harder to find those who want to pull you along as theyre climbing up the ladder of success. If you too are climbing you will see that they are eager to see you succeed as long as your efforts are genuine. No one likes to waste time on those who put forth as little effort as possible. I realize i cannot afford to waste major time with minor things and minor people. I have as much time as anyone else and one lifetime to maximize my life. I can choose to be careless with how i use it, by thoughtlessly putting myself around instances which deter growth or i can use it wisely by being proactive and surrounding myself around those who encourage my success and my disciplined efforts. anyway. every minute it valuable. how are you using your time?


This quote inspired me:

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
– William James

so did this one, alot:

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
– Henry Ford

and this one:

The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.
– Confucius

and this one:

The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
– Benjamin Mays

basically i feel real inspired right now.
the past week had been hazy. My goals and aspirations are strong but they seem distant. Im working two jobs and its becoming exhausting. I try not to let myself think that its exhausting, i tell myself there are people who work more than the 70 hours a week ive been working… people that work around the clock day and night for days and maybe weeks. like soldiers and important politicians and what not. the only thing is… this is not waht i want to do with my life. wait tables. its humbling really. i must say for all that i want in life the past two years have been a humbling experience. ill be able to relate to my humble becomings later on. im 20. sometimes i think i have all the time in the world. (which i might) and other times i feel that every passing second i dont take advantage of enforcing my beliefs with sound efforts by acting upon them, is a second ill never have again. i feel that a second in my youth is worth a day in my old age. i want to rationalize my idleness and my occasional lack of enthusiasm and drive but i only feel it the next day. i need to be disciplined and retain my focus daily without fail or hesitation or doubt. doubt and worry sap my stregth and ambition. i need to spend energy on th ehere and now and whats to be accomplished with the daylight and time i have left. not with regret and wishes and shouldhaves. i need to focus on being the person i envision myself to be instead of wishing. “great men have purposes, others have wishes” i keep that in my wallet as a reminder anytime i daydream and think of things other than my goals and how ill overcome them.

i get down sometimes. i think about what i should have done, instead of doing what i can be doing and planning for my next move. hm. i get caught up in thoughts that lead me no where. and i feel confused. and blah. and that neutral feeling is a negetive feeling. anytihng not distinctively good is bad. so that sounds an alwarm in my head. fortunately ive have some mornings off this week due to passover. The free time i have will be spent doing errands and raeding. READING. its amazing. its like this.
Your mind is soil. Your thoughts are seeds. You have a strong desire for something and youll think more of it and youll plant the seeds. Reading is like that water that reinforces and ensures the vitality of those seeds that theyll grown into the vision you planted in your mind. you as the caretaker need to weed out bad thoughts and weeds in the garden of your mind. you need to ensure that the mind is clear and open and is breathing. like ensuring there is enough sunshine and the weather is right for optimaal growth. yes. heres is a quote i remember “do not judge a day by the harvest, rather by the seeds youve planted”- i forget who wrote it but that basically mativates me to do alot with life. and with every seed you plant will only birth more fruit and more seeds. its up to discipline and desire to ensure proper and healthy growth. anyway. im gonna go read now. night 🙂