Month: October 2008

found it… dunno where. liked it a smidge.

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and some cosmic energy;
It was never between you and them anyway.

bestest

If everyone did what the best do- they would be the best.
People do not succeed because they do what everyone else does. They do more. Life isn’t magic. Good things come to those who work hard, have good attitude, and have worthwhile goals. Thats it.

If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. If you’re alright with that then fine. I desire more. From life, from myself, every moment.

how to be happy.

You may not understand the power or significance this had on me, but the the day I started moving forward and progressing with my life was the day I realized that I alone am responsible for everything and anything that happens to me. I am ultimately accountable for every thought, every feeling and every action. As far as I’m concerned, If something negative/bad/unfortunate/ undesirable happens to me, there is something I could have done to avoid it. It may not be directly my fault, but it is indirectly my fault. Life is a river… if you are not swimming forward, upstream towards desirable worthwhile goals and ideas and thoughts, you are drifting backwards- towards undesirable things. I was a victim my whole life until I realized this. No one is responsible for my success, happiness, fulfillment other than me- and If I’m capable of making a single decision, I am capable of living a fulfilling life. When I realized life was about choices, I realized that I was going to make the best. So I surrounded myself those who’ve made only the best choices, and cut myself off from people who make poor choices. I read books by people who’ve made good choices and realized success. I saturated my brain and mind with ways to become better than I am– and I never give up. There is no failure until you give up. Every time you do not succeed is a chance to do it again- only better. I realized anytime I thought I was a failure in life is when I gave up. Now I never give up and I always get better and I always succeed given enough time. I also realized that I need to have a worthwhile dream/ goal in order to succeed. I never had a goals or purpose with my life and I never achieved. How was I suppose to arrive/achieve if I didn’t know where I was going? When I decided that only I can know where I will eventually end up was the day I made decisions about my direction/ goals/ dreams. I have one life to live. Every day I am not happy is a day I’ll never get back. Every day I’m ok with being unhappy is a day I rob myself. Another huge thing I realized that that we are what we repeatedly do. If we choose to think thoughts over and over again, we will eventually get in the habit of thinking those thoughts. If I choose to act or do things over and over again, I’ll get into those habits- and habit are hard to break. Its up to me to choose the very best thoughts and actions for habits. Also- thoughts are used to describe life and thoughts make you feel. If you think and believe in positive thoughts- you will feel good. If you think negative thoughts- you will feel bad. If you are in the habit of thinking negative thoughts- and you want to think positive, you probably won’t feel too positive in the beginning- habits are hard to break and so are states of mind. I hit bottom so bad for so long that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I made the decision to give life a big fuck you and be the best person I can be. I wanted and desired it so bad that I wouldn’t let anything get in the way. If you don’t want something bad enough, chances are, you will not achieve it. Also- who we are is the person you are being right now. We are not our past. We can make the decision to change our actions and thoughts whenever we want. The longer i succeed, the more I succeed at, the more confidence I will have to continue to succeed. Initially I thought I was faking it.. that being successful and happy was not who I was. Then I thought… who cares! I want to be happy and successful. So I acted as if I was happy and successful- fake it until you make it. Eventually I looked back, and people came to know me as happy and successful- not the person I was 6 months or a year or 5 years ago. No one tells me who I am. I decide every moment. And I choose to be the best I know how.

Amh

At Amherst college. Sick parties. Was pretty surprised when I walked into a common room that looked like a luxury hotel packed with 300+ kids totally hot and wild for more. Typical hit club and pop music blaring as loud as possible. My ears are still ringing. Was drunk. Wasn’t prepared to drink from 6:00pm to 2:00am. I have to admit, its been awhile since I’ve partied like that. Not really prepped and primed. Hellava good time though. The football team had a parent weekend party so I attended with my cousin, who’s a football player, and just conversed with drunk parents. They all wore their best faces that evening. Glowing with pride for their kids. Polos and Gucci. Totally inebriated.

essentially existing

This world is insane. I can’t grasp it all. Everything I think and everything I read overwhelms me with thought.

I’m reading Sartre. I’m also reading Kierkegaard. Everytime I read philosophy one of two things happen. I either… become totally nihilistic… or… I find a thread of singularity that helps justify the rationale I use to create sense out of the absurd madness. Meaning. Its so damn hard to grasp.

When I feel stable and secure in my reason… or when I arrive somewhere secure and relatively safe from the clutches of doubt and cynicism.. I find consistencies that pervade all the philosophies and explain much of the confusion I experience. Typing it all out here would require several volumes worth of writing to explain.

Something I find myself fighting against is meaning. I am often left believing that all is inherently meaningless; that any meaning I discover is simply manufactured by my consciousness- And that does not constitute meaning. As far as I’m concerned… there is truth… and there is meaning. You can have truth without meaning… but you cannot have meaning without truth. This seems contradictory. How can something be true unless it has a value? I think meaning is denoted when we decide what that value is- whether it is positive or negative. Truth is objective… but it does not provide or point to meaning. That we leave to our individual judgment.

Existentialism is interesting. I think I accidentally act like an existentialist- Existence precedes essence. I think like a Cartesian- Essence precedes existence or I think, therefore I am. I wonder how much free will the Cartesian philosophy allows. I know Descartes believed in a soul… in a human nature… presumably the essence we’re talking about. That almost makes it seem like there are restraints to the freedom man has. That as his essence he is before he exists. That there is meaning before he exists. That there are values before he exists. Maybe these values are there but through our existence they become meaningful.
Existentialists believe that they dictate meaning… they are ultimately responsible for their reality. They are without excuse for being one way or another. Their meaning is directly responsible for who or what they are. I think. I know that existentialism is a closely related to the notion of humanism. Why? I sorta forget. I often associate cartesian philosophy with humanism… that I can think and therefore be whatever I want. Gosh. so confusing. Need to read and think more.

All I know is that we choose meaning. We also choose our truth. Or we acknowledge it anyway. Whether that truth is meaningful or not we won’t know until we act or experience it. The results matter. How to measure results? Shit if I know. I doubt its measurable. I doubt its static.

I know that if you want something.. if you want to achieve… all you need to do is DECIDE what you want… Develop a burning, unextinguishable passion/desire that motivates you to actualize this desire… and Ignore anything that would prevent you from achieving it. This means… totally cutting yourself off from any conflicting philosophies and seeing past any obstacles so that they appear as temporary challenges. Dedicate your thoughts to this desire… allowing your mind to visualize, create or play with the desire all day long. Also… apply FAITH that is will be achieved. Faith promotes patience… hope.. and an additional list of maxims that are necessary from actualizing that which does not exist. Such as success.

Albert Camus

” When I was young, I asked more of people than they could give: everlasting friendship, endless feeling. Now I know to ask less of them than they can give: a straightforward companionship. And their feelings, their friendship, their generous actions seem in my eyes to be wholly miraculous: a consequence of grace alone.”

“One cannot live with truth -– “knowingly” –, he who does so sets himself apart from other men, he can no longer in any way share their illusion. He is an alien -– and that is what I am.”

Existentialism…
I just wrote a whole lot of heartfelt thoughts. Bothering thoughts… and they got erased. It was probably cathartic nonetheless.

Everything seems so inescapable. Life is absurd.

The Reality: Democratic vs. Republican Economic Policies

I keep hearing and reading that the Democrats have the better economic policies… and that history shows it. This intrigued me because their policies have always tended caused more spending and more regulation. I stumbled across this article and it did a great job highlighting all the factors and details that go unnoticed by most people hailing democrats as the saviors of our economy.  In the end… I only want whats best. I have nothing to gain from refusing social spending and refusing government subsidies. I’m open to a new leader. I just want a reliable, principled, no none sense official who can distinguish between right and wrong and think long term on behalf of the people.

fat sleep

I need sleep. I’m a virtual zombie. For some reason I’ve been undermining my convictions. I don’t necessarily mean my morals or things of that nature. I’m referring to the conviction to do the right thing when I know I should… like.. going to bed EARLY… instead of aimlessly wasting time..like.. studying when I have a free hour instead of playing guitar… like… putting a little extra effort into eating healthy instead of wasting time and having to eat quick on the go meals.

Days like this I just move from class to class… conversation from conversation… nodding and blinking and smiling… more or less staring off into space… staring through people. Things don’t sink in. It’s all superficial. Meaning and conversation. My professors… they just talk. I’m not listening to them. They try to be meaningful… its hallow jargon. Repetitive. I have anxiety in my chest. It gnaws. It scrapes and wrestles around inside me. It makes my legs and toes twist and stretch.

Fat kids. Gosh. lots of fat kids. All around me. I see them quietly munching on starchy chips… nibbling on their sweets… sloshing it down with carbonated sugar water. They have breasts… and they’re men. The women have lost their curves and developed into mis-shapely blobs… strikingly amoeba like.

Days like today make me feel like time is relative. Long long days. Classes, meetings, clubs, events, programs… 15 hours with few breaks to recollect thoughts and reflect.

A problem I have when I don’t sleep is that I don’t learn. Most learning takes place during hour REM hours of rest. I haven’t had too much of that lately. Caffeine. I’m always reluctant to indulge in stimulants. They wreck you mode. You crash. You become imbalanced. Even when I get on a routine usage of caffeine in the mornings the balance, or results when I skip this ritual is detrimental to anything productive taking place.

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

********

On another note…

I’ll be visiting UPENN and NYU next week.. wed-sunday. My best friend from florida is flying up and joining me… he’s checking out villanova law school in Penn and Cardosa Law in NYC. It’s gonna be a good time catching up and hanging out. I wrote up my itineraries.. hopefully I can meet an awesome professor or two. On one of those transfer essays I need to explain why I want to transfer.. and tell about a professor i’d like to study under and why I think his work is influential… wow. Intense. Sounds like a challenge. I’m up for it.

*****

forcesss

Do I want to be a force? Are there neutral forces? Must I be positive or negative? There will always be consequences for my actions. Will my intentions always yield the best circumstances? Ying yang stuff. forces. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What on EARTH. I’ve decided that everything is blah. thats it.. blah. nothing matters. everything is trivial. EVERYTHING. In the end… it doesnt matter. I make it matter. I decide what matters. I decide what ultimately is a cost. What ultimately is a reward. Nothing is what it seems. Temporal. Everything.

not yet living

I’m not really living yet. I mean. Every day I desire something. Whether or not I choose to strive for it usually determines how I’m feeling. I’m ok with the challenge- the struggle. It feels good. And the more I do it the better I feel. eh. people. They are so funny. Sometimes I get outside myself, and get in this mode where I gain a special awareness for emotions- mine and others. I get in these states and people become predictable. Its like… I use my attitude, my rhetoric and language, to change them. To persuade or guide them into an emotional or mental place of my liking. It sounds like manipulation, but its never for selfish intent. Its for the sheer fun of it. Its not necessary misleading because I’m genuine and sincere and my intention is nothing but the best but… people. Seriously.

I was reading about attribution theory today in a social psych module. I also read about fundamental attribution error. It deals with peoples circumstances and how people interpret them based on the influence they give these circumstances rather than the influence the circumstances have in reality. I’ll write more about these thoughts but it was interesting. People.

As soon as I stop thinking about myself…Life improves. Its funny.

G.K. Chesterton- The most amazing writer… ever.

Do yourself a favor and check out the writings of the most underrated author, essayist, poet and satirist in English language: G.K. Chesterton

Discover him here

Read some of his work on-line here

I picked up a book of his, Tremendous Trifles, and read through it this summer. He wrote so much, and so well, that he published his rantings, journals, and random thoughts that were good enough to be amazing books.

Check out any of his work from "Tremendous Trifles"

Let me know what you think—-

boring playful lives

My life is boring. I expect it to be that way so I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve got myself programmed to believe I’m working toward some fulfilling goal. That this dreary boredom is somehow a payment for treasures ahead. I wonder how much I lie to myself.

One side of me is restrained, reserved, conservative, deliberate, cautious, wise, calculated, thoughtful, charming and principled. That is the man in me. The other side of me is wild, spontaneous, playful, risky, joyous, dreamy, unguided, loving, surprised, and filled with a never ending awe. This is the boy in me.

The boy in me wants to travel, see far off distant lands, meet sweet girls, play in the grass, feel, touch, love, kiss, and just delve into adventure after adventure.
The man in me wants to offer security, stability, support, and reliability.

I’m torn with these very opposite impulses. While one is reflective and overall wiser from his experience, the other is thirsting for life and newness. It wants spice! It wants girls! It wants to play! It doesn’t want schedules or responsibility! It wants to play music, and sing, and draw, and paint, and run, and jump, and scream, and laugh, and smile, and soak up feeling life all around.

Socialized healthcare *

I laughed to myself. I was discussing politics as usual with my friend a bit earlier. He’s a staunch (or steeply ignorant)Democrat with very liberal ideas about what seems to work and what doesn’t. That’s not really the point. — On a side note. I was thinking earlier and I had a mini epiphany. Liberals genuinely think people on the whole are good. When something goes wrong they point the accusatory finger and blame specific people for their problems, never accepting responsibility. Conservatives, on the other hand, believe people have potential to be good, but the majority are prone to failure and flaw if left to themselves.—
So anyway… we were discussing health-care. He believes in socialized healthcare. I believe that yea, there should be programs in place for health-care but at whose expense? Who will pay for these programs? Would mom and pop, you and me? Will the doctors be be forced to accept lower wage incentives because of a socialized system? Would this sacrifice quality? Surely. He staunchly maintained that 60% of doctors favor socialized health-care!… that these doctors favor giving their time to help the poor people at a lower wage! How poetic! I challenged him to check the facts and look at the hidden prerogative. So we checked these facts. He was right. Most doctors do favor socialized health care. And do you know why? Because the government… aka Taxpayers… will be paying for their malpractice suits!!! Wow! No wonder Doctors favor Social health care programs. They don’t have to shell out nearly as much money for their malpractice insurance- which is through the roof. Which is why health care is so expensive anyway. Do you know why this insurance is so high? Because dishonest, ignorant, idiot people sue Doctors and the corrupt courts sympathize and make them pay out big time! Not all lawsuits are illegitimate but many are due to the ignorance of the patient. Poor doctors preying on people are just as much to blame. But then we go back to the Socialization of it all. Where is the incentive to be the best if all the doctors are paid virtually the same? Where is the incentive? You’re efforts aren’t being justly rewarded for your services. You can’t make someone be better. There needs to be incentive and the majority of people out there don’t strive for excellence for the sheer sake of it.

America is the best because we’ve allowed freedom of choice. With that freedom comes rewards! Better quality and more variety! Its basic economics!! Eliminate choice and you eliminate freedom- whether you are a producer or a consumer. Hail Democracy! Hail capitalism!

Anyway. Ramble ramble.

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Epic Blurb

I love swimming. Becoming totally engulfed in an essence. I love swimming in the ethereal feelings and thoughts kindled in my glowing imagination. I want to live fully. What do I think?

I cannot keep putting off responsibilities. Responsibilities like… homework, studying, keeping in touch with people, being happy. I have a responsibility to be happy ya know. No one else is responsible for my happiness. Its unique to me.

Is it good to avoid criticism? Should one look for it?

***

I visited cousin at Amherst College this weekend. Watched the football game. Beautiful campus. Small population of students but spacious none the least. Hung out with the football gang. All seemingly intelligent people. It’s odd to visit a wet campus. Alcohol prevails in every dorm and every hall. The smell of stale beer leads you to the next party. Filled with juvenile adolescents indulging in self destruction- pounding away at another helping of hoppy watered-down ethanol or some other distilled liquid pleasure. These people. Freedom is such a new quality. I remember the days when I was overwhelmed with freedom. It’s where the irresponsibility started and accountability faded away as I justified my actions with those of my peers. Sad really. My individualism was lost amongst the crowd. And for what? Acceptance is too cliche for an answer. I stripped and tossed my convictions without hesitating a moment. No contemplation. We don’t think that far ahead in our youth. We live in the now. We rarely take time to see into the distance future. If we did, we would see how our accumulated actions would be disserving and adjust accordingly.

Maybe its alright to pander to some of our fleeting youthful satisfactions. Its a slippery slope. The miligram experiment by social psychologist stanley milgram perfectly illustrates what happens when we undermine our convictions. We continue this trend until there are no limits to what we do. The line has been crossed, we are confused, we lose sight of right and wrong as we justify out previous slip.

Amherst was fun. I’m through with the binge atmosphere. I want social glee. I want to be surrounded with quality people who enjoy the finer things in life. Who rise above mindless impulses and short-lived thrills.

Education will not solve the worlds problems. The worlds problems are more than the tangible pressures we face. We face trials of the heart. When the man is right, his world will be right. How can education cause men to be more introspective with their intentions? Just because a man is sincere doesn’t mean he can’t be sincerely wrong. Is man the measure of all things? How far does this measure extend?

*****

I often wonder what would happen if I forfeit all the wisdom I’ve believed to have accumulated? What would happen to my world is I tossed my convictions and standards into the wind and remained wild, totally free from reason. Ha. As I say this I just think of how most post-modern liberals behave. I’m sure my behavior wouldn’t be that different.

*****

I need to write a paper. A LONG paper. A case study. On a company with a woman who’s got no work ethic. Who started a business strictly because she does not work well with authority. Who stated that shes alright with her businesses minimal growth because she reaps tax benefits and money from subsidies to small businesses. She is stealing our tax money becuase she refuses to work hard to earn more money for herself. Wow. This women is nice. She’s got some good ideas. She is clueless when it comes to investing herself into a vision and seeing that vision come alive. She instead settles for mediocrity. A business that’s providing barely enough to get by. She comes to work late. She fired every employee shes hired because of ‘personality conflicts’ but stated that she prefers an employee because that makes me come to work on time. People. I swear. How the hell do I even approach this study. I outlined a business plan proposal. When I write the paper I obviously want to write like this is going to a valuable company with vested stakeholders- instead, I think about how this women won’t heed a damn word and although my analysis of her basic production methods is legitimate- I find that all she needs is a good lesson on working hard and the principles of success. Being an economics paper I can’t very well write a philosophy discourse of strategies for success, but I’m EXTREMELY tempted. If there wasn’t a hefty grade attached I would write such a paper and throw it in her face. I’d also rattle off a few rants on why any social distribution of wealth is inherently flawed due to free loaders like her.

My God! People must misunderstand me all the time! When I talk of success- this doesn’t translate into financial gain! People probably think I’m so egocentric and highfalutin because they totally misinterpret success. Actually- they are totally ignorant to success in general so they are stigmatized to the notion!

SUCCESS!!!! What it means!!! Progressively realizing a worthy ideal!— And working towards it with every molecule and vibration in your being! Being excellent and exploring the unknown wellsprings of untapped potential! BEING THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO! If you decide to do something- put your all into it! Enough???? “Aren’t I doing enough” you ask? Enough is only your best! Do not lie or deceive yourself. There is no such thing as failure. There is no such thing as try! There is Do. or Do not. Live. or live not. You choose.

I believe that all psychological illnesses stem from people not realizing their full potential. They sabotage themselves and what they think they can or cannot do! They become entrenched in limiting thoughts and habits and live their lives, like Thoreau said, ‘in quiet desperation’.

****

Some people feel that they lack motivation or intelligence or desire or skills. HA! HAHAH! I pity these people. I do. Continually focusing on what they lack instead of what they have at their disposal! How can one gain more by spending his time counting everything he hasn’t! All man needs to succeed he already possesses. The most valuable tool in his arsenal of achievement? Will. What is will? The ability to apply oneself to a decision. We all possess the ability to make a decision. Focus on that decision- never mind the details for they’ll take care of themselves- and you will watch live spring to life. Will! The more you exercise will the more you empower yourself! Have Dreams! Have vision! “Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference.” (Joel Barker)

*****

I want to help other people find their potential. They may ask- what is potential??? What does that mean??? It is everything you are not and you want to be.
I often get caught up thinking that I need to possess the answer in order to plant inspiration within people. How childish! How can I possess all the answers for each individual? Can I make up their mind? Can I pretend to know the depths of their soul and the curiosity of their spirit? No. What I must possess is hope and vision. All I need within myself is the ability to question. To challenge. To encourage people. People have the answers within themselves. They need to look. All I need to to ask the questions that cause people to look within themselves. There they will find the burning flame that starves for more to breath. When this flame catches a breath it will burn brighter and more passionately then they’ve ever known. It will illuminate them from within and their eyes will shine with wonder and awe. They will yearn for more and more and their enthusiasms will cause others to combust in a dazzling display of human achievement.

****

It’s odd. As I often do, I find myself caught in a paradox of conflicting ideology. On one hand- I hold people to the highest most exalted esteem, adorned and lauded for their precious nature. On the other? I find people utterly reviling, evil and carnal in nature. Lost and complacent with consuming the empty tales of hope. Listening fervently with open ears to the flowery but empty rhetoric that evil spews forth. Lies- deception and deceit. It pulls at the strings of their heart and beckons them to follow but leads no where. Are they sheep? They are defiant sheep. I cannot hate the ignorant. I myself am just as ignorant. I do- however- hate the lies. Those that lead others astray have gained my utmost contempt. Their words are like honey to the lips that poisons and incapacitates. These men lead nowhere.

****

I love life. I wish I would think less and act more. At the end of the day all that matters is what was actually accomplished. When my life is over- I won’t be able to celebrate the hours of cathartic reflection and quiet contemplation. I will have to show what my life produced. When the harvest is ready- one cannot make excuses for anything less than his best. This life we sow our best, till and prune and water and tend. When this life is over only the fruits of our labor will reveal our success.

***
I have to work. I have much to do. I have much to write about. No holding back.

****

Epic Blurb.

I love swimming. Becoming totally engulfed in an essence. I love swimming in the ethereal feelings and thoughts kindled in my glowing imagination. I want to live fully. What do I think?

I cannot keep putting off responsibilities. Responsibilities like… homework; studying; keeping in touch with people; being happy. I have a responsibility to be happy ya know. No one else is responsible for my happiness. Its unique to me.

Is it good to avoid criticism? Should one look for it?

***

I visited cousin at Amherst College this weekend. Watched the football game. Beautiful campus. Small population of students but spacious none the least. Hung out with the football gang. All seemingly intelligent people. It’s odd to visit a wet campus. Alcohol prevails in every dorm and every hall. The smell of stale beer leads you to the next party. Filled with juvenile adolescents indulging in self destruction- pounding away at another helping of hoppy watered-down ethanol or some other distilled liquid pleasure. These people. Freedom is such a new quality. I remember the days when I was overwhelmed with freedom. It’s where the irresponsibility started and accountability faded away as I justified my actions with those of my peers. Sad really. My individualism was lost amongst the crowd. And for what? Acceptance is too cliche for an answer. I stripped and tossed my convictions without hesitating a moment. No contemplation. We don’t think that far ahead in our youth. We live in the now. We rarely take time to see into the distance future. If we did, we would see how our accumulated actions would be disserving and adjust accordingly.

Maybe its alright to pander to some of our fleeting youthful satisfactions. Its a slippery slope. The miligram experiment by social psychologist stanley milgram perfectly illustrates what happens when we undermine our convictions. We continue this trend until there are no limits to what we do. The line has been crossed, we are confused, we lose sight of right and wrong as we justify out previous slip.

Amherst was fun. I’m through with the binge atmosphere. I want social glee. I want to be surrounded with quality people who enjoy the finer things in life. Who rise above mindless impulses and short-lived thrills.

Education will not solve the worlds problems. The worlds problems are more than the tangible pressures we face. We face trials of the heart. When the man is right, his world will be right. How can education cause men to be more introspective with their intentions? Just because a man is sincere doesn’t mean he can’t be sincerely wrong. Is man the measure of all things? How far does this measure extend?

*****

I often wonder what would happen if I forfeit all the wisdom I’ve believed to have accumulated? What would happen to my world is I tossed my convictions and standards into the wind and remained wild, totally free from reason. Ha. As I say this I just think of how most post-modern liberals behave. I’m sure my behavior wouldn’t be that different.

*****

I need to write a paper. A LONG paper. A case study. On a company with a woman who’s got no work ethic. Who started a business strictly because she does not work well with authority. Who stated that shes alright with her businesses minimal growth because she reaps tax benefits and money from subsidies to small businesses. She is stealing our tax money becuase she refuses to work hard to earn more money for herself. Wow. This women is nice. She’s got some good ideas. She is clueless when it comes to investing herself into a vision and seeing that vision come alive. She instead settles for mediocrity. A business that’s providing barely enough to get by. She comes to work late. She fired every employee shes hired because of ‘personality conflicts’ but stated that she prefers an employee because that makes me come to work on time. People. I swear. How the hell do I even approach this study. I outlined a business plan proposal. When I write the paper I obviously want to write like this is going to a valuable company with vested stakeholders- instead, I think about how this women won’t heed a damn word and although my analysis of her basic production methods is legitimate- I find that all she needs is a good lesson on working hard and the principles of success. Being an economics paper I can’t very well write a philosophy discourse of strategies for success, but I’m EXTREMELY tempted. If there wasn’t a hefty grade attached I would write such a paper and throw it in her face. I’d also rattle off a few rants on why any social distribution of wealth is inherently flawed due to free loaders like her.

My God! People must misunderstand me all the time! When I talk of success- this doesn’t translate into financial gain! People probably think I’m so egocentric and highfalutin because they totally misinterpret success. Actually- they are totally ignorant to success in general so they are stigmatized to the notion!

SUCCESS!!!! What is means!!! Progressively realizing a worthy ideal!— And working towards it with every molecule and vibration in your being! Being excellent and exploring the unknown wellsprings of untapped potential! BEING THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO! If you decide to do something- put your all into it! Enough???? ‘Aren’t I doing enough’ you ask? Enough is only your best! Do not lie or deceive yourself. There is no such thing as failure. There is no such thing as try! There is Do. or Do not. Live. or live not. You choose.

I believe that all psychological illnesses stem from people not realizing their full potential. They sabotage themselves and what they think they can or cannot do! They become entrenched in limiting thoughts and habits and live their lives, like Thoreau said, ‘in quiet desperation’.

****

Some people feel that they lack motivation or intelligence or desire or skills. HA! HAHAH! I pity these people. I do. Continually focusing on what they lack instead of what they have at their disposal! How can one gain more by spending his time counting everything he hasn’t! All man needs to succeed he already possesses. The most valuable tool in his arsenal of achievement? Will. What is will? The ability to apply oneself to a decision. We all possess the ability to make a decision. Focus on that decision- never mind the details for they’ll take care of themselves- and you will watch live spring to life. Will! The more you exercise will the more you empower yourself! Have Dreams! Have vision! “Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference.” (Joel Barker)

*****

I want to help other people find their potential. They may ask- what is potential??? What does that mean??? It is everything you are not and you want to be.
I often get caught up thinking that I need to possess the answer in order to plant inspiration within people. How childish! How can I possess all the answers for each individual? Can I make up their mind? Can I pretend to know the depths of their soul and the curiosity of their spirit? No. What I must possess is hope and vision. All I need within myself is the ability to question. To challenge. To encourage people. People have the answers within themselves. They need to look. All I need to to ask the questions that cause people to look within themselves. There they will find the burning flame that starves for more to breath. When this flame catches a breath it will burn brighter and more passionately then they’ve ever known. It will illuminate them from within and their eyes will shine with wonder and awe. They will yearn for more and more and their enthusiasms will cause others to combust in a dazzling display of human achievement.

****

It’s odd. As I often do, I find myself caught in a paradox of conflicting ideology. On one hand- I hold people to the highest most exalted esteem, adorned and lauded for their precious nature. On the other? I find people utterly reviling, evil and carnal in nature. Lost and complacent with consuming the empty tales of hope. Listening fervently with open ears to the flowery but empty rhetoric that evil spews forth. Lies- deception and deceit. It pulls at the strings of their heart and beckons them to follow but leads no where. Are they sheep? They are defiant sheep. I cannot hate the ignorant. I myself am just as ignorant. I do- however- hate the lies. Those that lead others astray have gained my utmost contempt. Their words are like honey to the lips that poisons and incapacitates. These men lead nowhere.

****

I love life. I wish I would think less and act more. At the end of the day all that matters is what was actually accomplished. When my life is over- I won’t be able to celebrate the hours of cathartic reflection and quiet contemplation. I will have to show what my life produced. When the harvest is ready- one cannot make excuses for anything less than his best. This life we sow our best, till and prune and water and tend. When this life is over only the fruits of our labor will reveal our success.

***
I have to work. I have much to do. I have much to write about. No holding back.

****

I will right.

I will write more often. I need to unhinge my censoring restraints. I need to let live and allow the torrents of my soul to flow through my finger tips. Imagery of the mind needs to play for others. Who am I to censor my self in fear of failing to communicate fully? I am here as a testament to the universes plan. It’s unfolded and it wishes to unfold more fully. I need to take this potential lurking in my depths and give it life.

I will write daily. I am committed to commenting on my own thoughts for the day, however mundane. I made a commitment not too long ago to write a million words- a thousand words a day for five years. I’m several dozen thousand behind. I need to make up for lost time. I need to learn to express more fully. The content is all the same. There is nothing new under the sun. The context is what changes, like the seasons. There is never a year or day or time like now. I will write about the now as it unfolds before my eyes. My thoughts will carefully select a curious perspective to translate.

I will become curious of all things. I will not settle, but reflect and act, hashing out the details in real time and arrive at a digestible position to sit on.

I yearn for a complement. Not the rhetorical flattery that inflates ones ego. I need one who complements who I am- an encourager. Where is the woman? Show yourself! I’ll confess- I’m not ready to provide the love that person rightfully deserves. There are others for that role in the mean time.

Calculus- Accounting- Economics. Blahhh. Makes be nauseas. These rigid ways of thought. Effective and efficient. Calculating. Precise. Where is the spontaneity! Where is the robust grandeur of chance and beatific risks! I long for these panegyrical displays of a life lived! I am wading through the mires of dry reason. Have I not found what I am looking for? What’s needed to live more fully? I desire a circle of confidants that appreciate the aims I shoot for. They support these lofty dreams I so seriously tackle. They pay no heed to my vain attempts at grabbing at the wind. They know that a gust will come and take me high above those who lay feverishly in the soil and sulk in their misfortune.

*****

I long to write more. Tomorrow… much much more!

Schools a joke. Gosh. I’ve exerted so little energy lately. I’m just waiting for it to come back and bite me big time but somehow I keep ending up with flawless performances. gosh… tests today. papers due. meetings. ugh. hm. Life is grand. I keep looking forward to the future.

Its beautiful in vermont right now. Absolutely breathtaking. I should take a picture. The weather is heavenly… like soft gentle zephyrs rolling over the hills and flowing through the trees. Its the kind of air that you breath in and want more. I take bid deep breaths and hold it in and it breaths out fresh! The trees are changing all sorts of colors. radiant reds and burning oranges. Yellows and bright greens mottled here and there. the sun shines brightly although its cool. The skies are crisp and light. Very blue and cool.

Class in 5 minutes.

pur-pose

I stumbled across these verses and it spoke all my life’s grievances better than I’ve been able to do. Ecclesiastes 3:1-22.

I love life. I am filled with passion from top to bottom. I am excited and joyful. I am looking forward to enjoying my life more thoroughly. I’m pushing myself to be the best I can be. I renewed my life purpose. I am committed to helping people find their purpose. A purpose that fills them with life and spirit and inspires them to be far more than they every thought they could be. My desire is show every person I meet that they are worth loving; that they are valuable and unique and irreplaceable. And that, so long as their dreams and passions are worthy and genuine and good, they can do whatever they set their heart to. I want to open their eyes and show them that they have an almighty, all powerful will– and if they can dream, all they need to do is find the will to succeed within themselves, and their dreams will materialize day by day before their eyes.

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be. (Jimmy Johnson)
Vision: The first step toward creating an improved future is developing the ability to envision it. (Unknown)
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.(Japanese Proverb)

No dreams is too great. No one great was remembered because they’re dreams were realistic. You’ll know your dream is worthy when people tell you you can’t. Never let people tell you you cant. The journey is the reward. Every day will be rewarding. No one thought their way to success and a happy life. Happiness and success are achieved by those burning brightly with passionate purpose. Happiness eludes the passionless.

Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow.(Horace)

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.(Hellen Keller)

Psychology & NLP

I was transformed a few years ago by the book “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. Since then I’ve taken control of myself and my thoughts, choosing and employing the very best to maximize my potential and reach my goals.

I began reading voraciously and consumed mountains of the classic self-help, philosophy. and psychology books. Eventually I found myself reading about the teachings and philosophies of NLP. The more I read the more I realized that NLP is nothing more than the philosophy of employing the fundamental principles of success and excellence. The more I read into NLP the more I realized I was already practicing much of what NLP teaches. I had already programmed myself with a variety of virtues and tools I never had prior to my commitment to excellence by reading the philosophies and thoughts of the greatest achievers who lived.

I also noticed parallels within psychology and NLP. Recently I’ve studied the findings of Schachter and Singer and their two factor theory of emotion. I think this theory illustrates an essential part in understanding why/how NLP works. (To sum it up: We choose our response to stimulus based on a cognitively labeled state of arousal. Whether this arousal is strong or weak doesn’t matter- we cognitively decide how react and feel about the stimulation and response.) Whenever I mention NLP who’s had no personal experience with the teachings I’m often met with criticism that its a pseudo scientific cult. Anything can be taken too far, but NLP seems to be to be such a fundamental approach to employing positive philosophies and patterns of thinking in every and any area of ones life.

tbc…