Tag: party

Part-E.

The tentacles of their gaze wrap around me. I look away to escape the entanglement. My thoughts are reluctant to turn with my head: they are transfixed on the motioning masses. Huddled in clusters, they divide themselves evenly throughout the room.  Every so often bodies will detach and absorb into another cluster, near or far, like a firing neuron. They maintain a hum, a gentle hum, a hum that cackles and keeps the insipid look in their eyes alive. They pour more of the intoxicant down their throats, trying to consume it with coolness, not realizing it is them being consumed.

I avoid their eyes. I don’t want to stir their mind. I want to see them as they are: complacent automatons molded and shaped by self fulfilling events. A glint of metal whirrs above me and a cool malted fragrance mists the air and settles on my brow. It smacks against the wall with an empty crack. Deep cheer and laughter erupt from one of the clusters. A boy stands with his spine erect, like a conquering hero; a rapacious smile hangs on his face as glistening liquid drips off his lips and soaks into his curling facial hair. I watch as their dull eyes reflect admiration, but I cannot make out their praises. I examine the once whirring metal, now motionless on the ground: an empty beer can. A hole punctured in its lower quarter. Shot-gunning.

I force myself to look around. My eyes return. I do my best to maintain casual eye contact. Do they see the fear in me? Are they afraid it is I that sees the fear in them? I want to be alone, but I stay. I have roles to fulfill; people to please. I pull a smile across my face. I feel my lips tighten and mimic the expression of a voluptuary. I tell myself I am pleased. I continue to scan the room. Make eye contact. My lust admires the youthful figures shifting in front of me: Boys and girls, courting one another with self-conscious precision. They have practiced this routine, this dance, these gestures: The alluring batting eyes; the coy retreats that indicate bashful vulnerability. They beg to be swooned. To be noticed. They don’t want to be taken a fool. They are ready to play this game.

The boys stand tall, proud, chests out, chin erect, like adolescent steeds. Their loud gestures fill the room, sweeping motions, legs spread, trying their best to dominate as much space as possible.

 

Part-E.

The tentacles of their gaze wrap around me. I look away to escape the entanglement. My thoughts are reluctant to turn with my head: they are transfixed on the motioning masses. Huddled in clusters, they divide themselves evenly throughout the room.  Every so often bodies will detach and absorb into another cluster, near or far, like a firing neuron. They maintain a hum, a gentle hum, a hum that cackles and keeps the insipid look in their eyes alive. They pour more of the intoxicant down their throats, trying to consume it with coolness, not realizing it is them being consumed.

I avoid their eyes. I don’t want to stir their mind. I want to see them as they are: complacent automatons molded and shaped by self fulfilling events. A glint of metal whirrs above me and a cool malted fragrance mists the air and settles on my brow. It smacks against the wall with an empty crack. Deep cheer and laughter erupt from one of the clusters. A boy stands with his spine erect, like a conquering hero; a rapacious smile hangs on his face as glistening liquid drips off his lips and soaks into his curling facial hair. I watch as their dull eyes reflect admiration, but I cannot make out their praises. I examine the once whirring metal, now motionless on the ground: an empty beer can. A hole punctured in its lower quarter. Shot-gunning.

I force myself to look around. My eyes return. I do my best to maintain casual eye contact. Do they see the fear in me? Are they afraid it is I that sees the fear in them? I want to be alone, but I stay. I have roles to fulfill; people to please. I pull a smile across my face. I feel my lips tighten and mimic the expression of a voluptuary. I tell myself I am pleased. I continue to scan the room. Make eye contact. My lust admires the youthful figures shifting in front of me: Boys and girls, courting one another with self-conscious precision. They have practiced this routine, this dance, these gestures: The alluring batting eyes; the coy retreats that indicate bashful vulnerability. They beg to be swooned. To be noticed. They don’t want to be taken a fool. They are ready to play this game.

The boys stand tall, proud, chests out, chin erect, like adolescent steeds. Their loud gestures fill the room, sweeping motions, legs spread, trying their best to dominate as much space as possible.

One. Night stand.

There is a rhythmic knocking above me: Back and forth, high and low. Intermittent melodies varying in pace and tempo. The beatings begin again. Sex. I want it to stop.

I had sex this weekend. A few times. With a few people. I can’t say I felt great about the encounters. At the end of a wild night, after a long day of intoxication, I am left with a surging desire for affection. I am left in need of a woman’s love, their body in my arms, on my body.
Continue reading “One. Night stand.”

N’0’Y’9’E

We piled in the Elevator. I was wasted. My arms hung around two beautiful girls. My world was breaking down in front of me. An older couple followed us in. I did my usual social routine and began conversing and wishing them a happy new year. The guy was tall and overweight. He looked a bit shady, but happy. The woman was in her thirties. She was blonde and petite. Everyone was wasted.

I forget what we talked about but he held up an eight ball. Pure cocaine. My world at that moment ceased to matter except to get high. I was magnetized. He caught me at my weakest. I didn’t really wanna go and he could tell. He coaxed me by offering a bump. The elevator arrived at their floor. Girls in arm, I followed into their apartment.

I don’t remember too much after that. I remember a lot of cocaine. I remember big lines. I remember these pretty girls with their powdered noses and big cute smiles. Thoughts of disgust continually crept into my frame of mind but the drug induced euphoria overpowered them.

An hour turns into two and its 3:30am. I politely thank them, shake hands and dismiss myself.

I know a girl is waiting for me. I take the elevator up a few floors and find the apartment.

Its dark, so I whisper for any friends. I spot a few bodies on the floor. I laugh to myself. Totally awake, totally high. I find her. I straddle her body and reach down to caress her face. She smiles and grabs my hand to hold it. Without a word she gets up and leads me into her room. There are people sleeping. She pushes them out of her bed and they land on the floor with a thud. There is no stir. funny. I strip down and crawl under the sheets. She holds me and rests. Before long we’re stroking each other and exchanging kisses. The cocaine has saturated my brain. I am in complete ecstasy. She nibbles on my ear. I obviously can’t take the tantalizing play so I take charge…

It was pretty much amazing. I obviously couldn’t pass out like she did, so I waited a good fifteen minutes until I hear a rhythmic breathing coming from her and slide out of bed. I look for my friends… They are gone, except one. He’s on the floor, pillows piled on his body in a weak attempt to garner some cover. I laugh to myself and wake him. Its around 6:00am.

I must have smoked a pack of cigarettes. I definitely consumed well over the harmful amount of alcohol and was totally sleep deprived. Despite all this, I manage to drive home with the help of the suns fresh morning rays.

Girls, inebriation, mall, off-roading, fight .,

girls, inebriation, mall, off-roading, fight .,

I havent been logging in my thoughts and current events as often as i should. i do tooooo much, too often… but i should start.

SAT- yea… great day. GREAT day. i saw my favorite girls, while swimming and getting drunk, and driving around in my jeep like a mad man. it was grrreattt… but no one wants to hear about that.

SUNDAY-

me and my favorite hangout partners bought a few cases of beer and went to kedos bridge. (currently my ongoing favorite sunday pastime) i got… pretty drunk. went swimming. met a bunch of random people. really cool. bunch of people met up with us. so it was great. me and a few dudes and girls went to the mall after i was… feeling really good. so we make our way indoors. i get a phone call. my friend is outside… he almost gets jumped outside the mall. he isnt one to start shit, EVER.. and he was drunk… and it was 5 on him… so naturally… im drunk and i want to find these “thugs” and “talk it out”… so we jump in my jeep… i offroad through some back lawns near the mall and eventually roll up to these kids. before i say anything they taunt me. bad move. i park my jeep on the sidewalk. jump on the hood and proceed to negotiate with the 5 “tough guys”. when that didnt work i beat the shit out of everyone. my good friend rolled up 5 sec later and helped me out. so it was real good. tough guys. all 5. talkin shit. real tough, get thier asses beat by me. it was great. until they got scared and broke pots and shit. which is when the cops came, all 5, and i was on the ground and hand cuffed and it was real shit. BUT- they let me go and my friend got off. 5 on 2. it was realllllly good. i was drunk so what.

so we celebrated by smoking some reefer and going offroading for the rest of the night- with a brief pizza break at BONZOS. yummy.

8:03 AM

Saturday, May 28, 2005

My friday night.
i worked till 1130. dropped some E (yay). went to a beach party. fighting everywhere. people everywhere. dont know whats goin on. no more alcohol. kegs dry. whatev.ppl r everywhere. po po roll up. outta nowhere. i realize the situation at hand. i shit and run my ass off to the car. i dive head first in some bushes so that i might be able to elude the blue monsters. run on the beach for a good, eh, fuckin mile.. (felt like it) find the car. get in. go to taco bell to chill out and figure out what the fuck happened. watch police and abulences spontaneously spawn from every corner of jupiter. heard that someone died. (seriously tho) im freakin out. but dont care cause im rollin. i call bunches of ppl up. leave a few dozen messages. pick up a 12 pack. go back to my house where i was gonna have ppl over. go to my neighbors house. party. brooke calls me back. told her i wanted to see her. she said stop by in this newhaven party. go there. rollin balls. drank 10 beers. really drunk. dont remember fine details. i liked everyone at the house i was at. i go home round 3. chill at my neighbors. talk to gay guys about life. very enlightening. im rollin till about 6 this morning. i see the sun peak its rays over the horizon. i realize i should probably go to bed. i had work at 10 this morning.
that was my friday night.

9:17 PM