“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.”- Thoreau

On the way to achieving the many endeavors we set out for ourselves, there are many destinations . There are even more paths to take you and guide your steps. One might consider his path the most efficient way of travel, but only until you’ve walked the path of another man can you make that judgement.


i love people who think they know things. I can be one of those people. I am often times. but i love seeing people talk about how much they know things. how certain they are of things. its funny. Its awesome cause it reminds me of how god-aweful i sound. The God’s honest truth is, the more i know, the absolute more i know i DONT know shit. and i think when this happens to people… they become proud of thier realization that they unlocked more secrets than the next man, instead of humbly accepting that there is no amount of knowledge and intellect he could possibly retain to grasp it all, not even in a specific field. know what im sayin? Intellect. here’s a quote from emerson that i found while reading earlier:

“In the fog of good and evil affections it is hard for man to walk foward in a straight line. Intellect is void of affection and sees an object as it stands in the light of science, cool and disengaged. The intellect goes out of the individual, floats over its own personality, and regards it as a fact and not as I and mine. He who is immersed in what concerns person or place cannot see the problem of exisitence. That is why intellect always ponders. Nature shows all things formed and bound. The intellect pierces the form and overleaps the wall, detects intrinsic likeness between remote things and reduces all things into a few principles.”

im not saying it relates to what i was saying but I found that to be enlightening none the less and thought it ought to be shared.


My doubt. i hate it. i hate everything about it. I want it circumsized. I want it cut out. The only doubt i want to remain is that of the impossible. I will not acknowledge it.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson


I just woke. My eyes are crusty. I’d fallen asleep early last night. I left the lights on as I nodded into my dreams. i woke up several times throughout the night and didn’t bother to turn them off. I need to appreciate more of the things around me. I feel a bit congested. The cloud cover hangs low today. Its slowly creeping overhead. The last bit of virgin blue sky is being sodomized by the tentacles of moisture.  I’m not worried though. The sun will shine again.


Life.  i read alot tonight. i read alot of my journals tonight. writtien journals, livejournals, myspacejournals. Who was i two years ago? who am i today? this is all overhwhelming at the moment. very emotional. Do people ever learn? only when they decide to do do they annouce they’ve learned. i feel less creative than ever. I feel that my emotions, those unpredictable and unlogical things that fester in my soul were the source of my enthusiasm and creativitity for so long. Ive all but extinguished those childish tendencies at thispoint. where are the metaphors. meta. meta messages. meta physics. meta mechanics. philosphy. words. expression. ugh.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Confused and lost. Programming myself on a daily basis. I know too much for my own good. I don’t know what I want. I know what I don’t. I struggle daily with vices, addictions, motivating. I’m obsessed with learning, knowledge, acquiring it, putting it to use; and at the same time, totally wasting away because life is short and seemingly unfulfulling. Creativity can be practiced. You’re only as smart as you think you are. Know you are. What is my existence. It’s a cruel catch phrase. I want to catch something that will pull me along. Passions are postal stamps. You label your hobbies as cool. Nothing is filling. Negetivity will bring you nothing, show you nothing. I know nothing in the scheme of things. I think too much. I get headaches, heartaches, and stomache aches. I am conscious all the time. There is little I overlook. I say everything for a reason. But it doesn’t mean i mean it. I look past and beyond whats behind and in front of me, obstacles, you know. I realize my happiness is trivial when compared to yours. I hope your happy. Love exists only in the eyes of a blind man. Fortunately you can gouge your eyes out. I only plead with myself. Im very articulated and poigant. Picky, selective, particular but I’ll lead you to believe I’m not. I’ll please you, but your not special. Few read the credits. Who really cares about anyone but themselves. I can be your biggest fan. I believe in bliss. Lying to youself. Ignorance. I have a hard time dealing with reality. Reality is debatable. I can close my eyes. I escape too often. No ones special without a label. Power corrupts. Knowledge corrodes. Wisdom prevails. and all this means absolutely nothing.

emo logistics

I realized something a long time ago and every once and a while i touch on it and it gives me a little reminder of who i am. I realized i rationalize my emotions. This may be a good and bad thing. Im sorta indifferent as to whether or not it matters in the long run cuz ultimately, in the end, i decide how happy i am based on my efforts. I always diassociate myself from my feelings and emotions. I form logical bridges and barriers to protect and guide myself through troubled waters. I use understanding and knowledge to build a mausoleum around my hurt. The few times I’ve followed my emotions i must say have led to the worst disappointments in my life. Deaths, broken relationships, and confusion were usually the result. anyway. I dont really think too highly of those things called emotions. Maybe I wont be living life to the fullest but as i see it they only bring you down. you emotions are not your reality. and they dont know whats best for you.

Detox Foods

1. Lots of super-healthy liquids to flush out the body while pouring in nutrients.

2. Fiber to keep your GI tract fit.

3. Foods that energize cleansing enzymes in the liver, your body’s built-in detox center.

 The top 10:

    1. Green leafy vegetables. Eat them raw, throw them into a broth, add them to juices. Their chlorophyll helps swab out environmental toxins (heavy metals, pesticides) and is an all-round liver protector.
    2. Lemons. You need to keep the fluids flowing to wash out the body and fresh lemonade is ideal. Its vitamin C – considered the detox vitamin – helps convert toxins into a water – soluble form that?s easily flushed away.
    3. Watercress.  Put a handful into salads, soups, and sandwiches. The peppery little green leaves have a diuretic effect that helps move things through your system. And cress is rich in minerals too.
    4. Garlic. Add it to everything – salads, sauces, spreads. In addition to the bulb’s cardio benefits, it activates liver enzymes that help filter out junk.
    5. Green tea. This antioxidant-rich brew is one of the healthiest ways to get more fluids into your system. Bonus: It contains catechins, which speed up liver activity.
    6. Broccoli sprouts. Get ’em at your health-food store. They pack 20 to 50 times more cancer-fighting, enzyme-stimulating activity into each bite than the grown-up vegetable.
    7. Sesame seeds. They’re credited with protecting liver cells from the damaging effects of alcohol and other chemicals. For a concentrated form, try tahini, the yummy sesame seed paste that?s a staple of Asian cooking.
    8. Cabbage. There are two main types of detoxifying enzymes in the liver; this potent veggie helps activate both of them. Coleslaw, anyone?
    9. Psyllium. A plant that?s rich in soluble fiber, like oat bran, but more versatile. It mops up toxins (cholesterol too) and helps clear them out. Stir powdered psyllium into juice to help cleanse your colon, or have psyllium-fortified Bran Buds for breakfast.
    10. Fruits, fruits, fruits. They’re full of almost all the good things above – vitamin C, fiber, nutritious fluids, and all kinds of antioxidants. Besides, nothing tastes better than a ripe mango, fresh berries, or a perfect pear.

Ultimate Detox Recipe

Easy Wilted Garlic-Sesame Salad
Toss dark, leafy greens in hot, garlicky oil for a cleansing?and delicious – dish
4 servings, about 65 calories each
1 Tsp. olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 lb. spinach, stemmed,
   or 1 lb. Swiss chard, stems sliced, leaves torn
   or 1 lb. mixture of spinach and watercress
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 Tsp. sesame seeds for garnish
Warm oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic and stir until lightly browned, about 45 seconds. Add greens (do in two batches, if necessary) and toss until just wilted, 2 to 4 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with sesame seeds.

My Personal Mission Statement


My Personal Mission Statement


Succeed at home first

Seek and merit divine Help

Never compromise with honesty

Remember the people involved

Hear both sides before judging

Obtain Counsel from Others

Defend those who are absent

Be sincere yet decisive

Develop one new proficiency a year

Plan Tomorrow’s work today

Hustle while you wait

Maintain a positive Attitude

Keep a sense of humor

Be orderly in person and in work

Do not fear mistakes- Fear only the absence of creative, Constructive and creative responses to those mistakes

Facilitate the success of subordinates

Listen twice as much as you speak

Concentrate all abilities and efforts on the task at hand, not worrying about the next job or promotion

In, but not of, the world

I like the people who lead lives based on their specific calling, their duty, to themselves and their convictions. I don’t really find the company of people who lead lives based on other peoples opinions too satisfying. I like those who live outside the world. outside popular culture. Those who have visions of great things for themselves that require them to blaze the way in unprecedented manners so that others may follow after they’ve reached the end of their conquest and voyage.

Feelings and Emotions

Alright. This is my interpretation of those little critters we call feelings and emotions. I honestly think they are simply indicators. They indicate as to whether or not our thoughts are in line with that we really want. They are like a compass for our true desires. If we think and dwell on the things we want… we feel good. If we think and dwell on the things that we don’t want… or even things that aren’t important… we’ll feel blah.. or bad. You get it? This isn’t me just saying this either. There are plenty of  reasons supporting this.
knowing this…

We absolutely, positively have the power of free thought. That is undebateably true. We ultimately choose what it is we think about on a daily basis. We however do develop habits of thinking. Sometimes bad habits, which would explain why some people feel so bad all the time. They constantly think about things that they don’t want due to poor habits of thinking, which in turn makes them feel bad, even if they really don’t want it. The law of attraction states that whatever it is you give you’re attention to, you will get more of it. Even if its something you dont want. for example: “I don’t want to be sad.” you just gave your attention to being sad. Not being happy, which is what you really want. Mother Theresa knew this concept. She said she’d never attend an anti-war rally, but if there was a peace really she’d go. funny. anyway…
knowing this…

Give your attention to things you want and not only will you be more aware of these things, you will become the thing you want, and you will draw circumstances together to get you the thing you want.
somehow i got off topic.

basically. Don’t trust your feelings. They LIE. alright… so if a girl is everything you want then i mean, its obvious you’ll have feelings for her. and i mean… explore it. obv. but don’t act accordingly to them. Base your actions on principles and values and whats best for everyone. anyway.