I grab his face and slam it against the solid wood desk. I lean in and wisper in his ear “What the fuck are you trying to prove motherfucker?” I continue clenching his face, my fingers sinking deep into his eye sockets. He flails his arms in a desperate rant and claws at my wrist. I am unmoved and unphased. I try pulling his face off but his head and body come with, so I slammed his head on the desk once more, this time cracking his skull like an egg. He let out a half shout, half gasp, of air that seemed to last an agonizing long while. I felt warm liquid on my hands as I examined his twitches. There were pools of blood in his eye sockets. My fingers individually penetrated the depths on his skull, plunging far past his facial flesh and into warm soft tissue that spurted streams and eventual rivers of blood. His heart was still beating. He was still alive. I let go, as if to throw a useless piece of trash on the floor, and he slide softly to the floor in a marienette kind of motion. There was no one manning the strings.
I got up and walked down the hall. Ever other ceiling tile contained a flouroescent energy saver light-bulb. The hallway was hallow and it felt purely artificial. I stopped at the EXIT ONLY door at the end of the hall. I patted each of my pockets and plunged my hand down to examine their contents. ‘There ya go’ I thought. Pulling out a used tissue, crumbled and falling apart, I wiped my blood stained finger-tips, doing my best to remove the flesh wedged between my finger nails.
I opened the door and was greeted by an emergency buzzer. I continued to walk through as my eyes spasmed and squinted against the will to see. Outside was brilliant and blinding. I continued to walk. I could hear children playing not too far off. Playful laughter of hide and go seek. The pitter-patter of their little feet zooming along. My eyes adjusted. It was bright. The sky was blue. The grass was green. My shoes were black- with small spots of red. I crossed the lawn and found my car. I nearly seared my fingers off trying to open the door. Leaning to get in- my lungs filled with lava like heat, causing me to nearly lose my breath as I breathed in. I sat down, light headed and dazed. Half from the adrenaline, half from the heat. I was a little too eager to get inside the car. It was a stifling hundred degrees. I peered out the window. The streets were empty.
I looked past the streets, past the grass, past the trees and the sky and the reality around me and delved into a trance. I swam in a pool of thoughts. I was indifferent. Searching for a word to make me feel anything. I wanted some reassurance I was alive. My black slacks only futhered the baking process. I wiped my forehead as little beads of sweat began banning together to cascade down my forehead and cheek. sweat began soaking through my pants into the velvet red seats of the 87 lincoln town car. They were sun bleached yellow. I smacked the seats with my hand and a bellow of dust saturated the air, swirling and catching the suns rays shining through the window. I wiggled the key into the ignition and started the car.
I turned to Jill and focused on her for a moment, thinking of a question worth our time to take us away from our thoughts.
“Are you happy?”
She turned quickly and we locked eyes in a cold stare for a brief moment, before she let out her curvy smile- the one that makes me smile cause it’s so damn sexy.
“What makes you ask?”
“I get the impression there are a lot of people who don’t know what happiness is. I feel like they settle.”
She continued smiling as if she was tinkering around in my head, trying to figure out my direction. She seemed to be getting some pleasure from the challenge.
“I’m as happy as I decide to be. I suppose if i chose to see things differently life would be a bit different, including my happiness, now wouldn’t they? I do my best. Does that answer your question?”
I’m not the most romantic conversationalist and it often happens that we get into these dry rhetorical talks.
“Whats your best? Do you think you try your best everyday?”
She paused, looked down and lifted her eyes out of the deep thought “My best. I do my best according to what I believe I’m capable of. I just put my faith that my best will suffice for the circumstances.”
By this time we were parked in front of Publix Shopping center. It was 1:30pm. Still hot as hell.
I proceeded to pull out my .50 cal desert eagle from under my seat. She smiled. Her eyes smiled. I melted inside. I pointed the muzzle at her and winked.
The flash was searing. I blew my eardrums out. I was blinded by a mist of blood floating in the air as it began clotting in my eyes. I do remember. It took her head clear off, right out the window like a puff of smoke.
I took a drag from my cigarette. The cherry burned deep red and crackled. I held it for a moment and exhaled into the air like a dragon blowing fire. I glanced around the bar and took another sip of my bear. It was warm. Blue Ribbon Label. It tasted like stagnant water.