you always have up and downs. Thats just apart of life. you’re lying to yourself if you think you’re the only one in the world. i use to tell myself i had serious problems because i got sad. and that would just get me more down. but eventually, and it took a long while- cause im stubborn- I realized that its pretty normal. and what makes people great is when you acknowledge the up and downs, but seize control of your thoughts and make the most of your life, despite circumstances and trials and feelings. the only feelings worth having are good feelings. I use to enjoy being sad. i dont know why. i had serious mental problems. i would seek comfort in it. but i never really lived life to the fullest like that. i was lying to myself and life would continue to progress in a downward spiral. maybe it was the disappointment i didnt like, so i chose to always expect the worse so i wouldnt be disappointed. thats a really crappy way of living tho. anyway. im rambling. I realize life can be beautiful if you take control of it and envision greater things for yourself. if you believe you will be great you will be great. but you need to back it up with action. You believe things are the way they are now, not because they are reality, but because you made them a reality by acting upon what you chose to believe really is. hopefully you follow me cause its serious stuff that changes lives. im not gonna write it all out for you but its genuine stuff. anyway
always be positive. always be optimistic. You’re attitude determines the intensity of your actions. very important if you want to be effective and efficient in achieving- anything for that matter. you must always have a vision. a goal. something you can have to backup and reinfornce every word and action with. a why. never mind that how. the why is pressing. the how is knowledge. the why is desire. and it needs to be worthy if it will take you as far as youd like to go in life. when you know the why, and your desires are identified- you can begin to fill your mind with the arsenal of knowledge required to bring you there. the how. anyway. i thought id share. its rare when people hear this stuff in the world we live in nowadays. everyones confused, and lost, and misguided. no faith. or all thier faith is in themselves and not in the higher power I call God. if youve ever put faith in yourself, you should know if you’ve done any living and gotten disappointing results that you cant rely on yourself. youll let yourself down and fail time and time again. put your faith in things above- in God- and he’ll never let you down. youll never be disappointed if you do what your convictions tell you as long as you want more for yourself. and wanting more-the desire for progress- is a constructive quality- which is good- and since bad is always decontructive you should want nothing to do with any negetivity, bad people, and most of all- thoughts. cause repeated thoughts form habits. and habits for character and your character will determine your destiny. so want good and your life will prosper and happiness and job will follow. be disciplined in these things. There are two pains we must face- the pain of discipline which weighs ounces and the pain of regret which weighs tons. dont hestiate to take action today. anywayyyyyyy. sorry. i could go on forever.
anyway. I work two fulltime jobs. not so fun. my goal is to pay off bills and debt and save up before i leave for school. Im finding it difficult to find personal time. When im not working im sharing my free time with friends. it needs to stop. eek. only for a little bit tho. priorities are priorities.
This past week has left me exhausted emotionally. no matter how tough you think you are you can always get hurt. you may be in denial but you feel it. I feel it. im not in denial. This world is full of messed up people. i really ask ‘why god?’ when i see that these people find thier way into my life. maybe im suppose to help them? i feel like i continually get hurt tho. Im excited about college. !! landmark college. woot. um. what else. i dunno. im exhausted i havent had a day off in like… a couple weeks. i work doubles 5 days out of the 7 days i work. geeze. anyway. night 🙂
p.s.
exciting news. i got my IQ test results back. The school i applied for required IQ testing as part of the application. it took 5 hours to complete. i did suprisingly well which makes me happy. i thought it was pretty cool. good experience. and now i know what areas i need to work on. I’ll give a summary.
WJ III and Acheievement test
Verbal Ability 136
Thinking Ability 142
Cognitive Effeciency 92 <-(Indicator of AD/HD)
Processing speed 98
Phomenic Awareness 153
Working Memory 99
Verbal Comprehension 136
Visual Auditory Learning 115 <-(Indicator of AD/HD)
Sound Blending 137
Concept Forming 128
Incomplete words 174
Broad Reading 129
Broad Math 108
Broad Written Language 161
I left out sub-sections cause the analysis report is like enormously long and confusing, so i just put the familiar self-explanatory and central major clusters in.
William Dare 