waking morning.

Beads of sweat roll down my face. My hair is matted and sticking to my forehead. My breathing is heavy. My heart is beating. I’m calm but raging. Our skin touches and sticks. I feel powerfully weak. I swallow hard on top of my heavy breathing. The covers are stuffy. It’s bright. Light fills the room. I sigh and breathe in deeply. She smells like fresh flowers. A euphoric satisfaction clothes me.
I point my toes and stretch my legs, curling and bending, arching my back and twisting my neck as I reach up. She rests her head on my chest and wraps her legs around me. I stare at the ceiling and wonder about my day. Totally comfortable and content. Totally. These feelings override any and all tendencies to over think. Life is simple in these moments. Frozen in the here and now and the future seems so hopeful and bright. If I could capture these moments and open them in my more knotted days. They would untangle everything.
Those butterflies. They’re perched on my heart. Swimming in that thick fluid in my chest cavity. Feelings. Emotions. They sometimes come up into my throat but I push them back down and they flutter some more. The window breeze fills the room and my skin chills with the sweat. She pulls herself even closer. I can see her thinking. Blinking. I can feel her breathing. Her warmth emanating. I’m keeping her safe. She’s keeping me warm. It’s a safe feeling of warmth. I can feel her toes dancing along her feet playfully entranced with mine. It’s a bright day. Still morning but bright. Cool. Sharp. Colorful. Full on contrast. That’s how I feel.