I need to write more. I use to write so much. Just to get it out of my mind. To extrapolate the little whispers and bright ideas I conjure up. I love life. I’ve realized a lot of things recently. Firstly… don’t underestimate the power of a thought or a single word. Secondly, don’t overestimate your understanding.
I should focus and fix my eyes on my desires and never mind the distractions of details that show up all around or on the side.
Something I realized that changed my life tremendously is the idea that I am in control of my thoughts. What that means to me has vastly different impacts than it does on most people. I know that circumstances are temporary. I realize that who I am is a collection of years and years of choices and habits and decisions. I’ve molded myself through my decisions. People let circumstances, opinions, people, feelings, mold them…or they mold their circumstances based on deciding how they choose to perceieve them… aka.. their attitude.
So beautiful today. The gentle rolling zephyr. The pristine blue sky.
I gotta learn not to get ahead of myself. I always try convincing myself of the ideal situation.
I always focus on the positive. I try my best not to use words like ‘always’ and ‘never’. When I do I’m trying to emphasize the firm conviction I have towards the ideal.
I’ve been too busy to think recently. I miss my journal and my books and my philosophers and authors and curiosity and imagination. Everything is rote. Going through the motions. I guess I’m getting good at making habits and staying consistent. I’m good at maximizing my time management and doing what I can to test the limits of my physical and mental capabilities. I miss feelings.
I’ve done what I can to take time for myself and relax and contemplate and reflect. i think its important for the soul. You let the neurons run free. No constructs, expectations, deadlines, goals…. just for a few moments a day I like to stare off into space, watch the sun set over the big burly mountains, listen to the delicate conversations between the birds, watch the blue sky melt into a black landscape strewn with sparkling diamond like stars. I watch the moon take shape and creep towards its apex in the sky. I admire the gold and orange and pink and purple tinge soaking upward on the horizon as the sun sets. I like trees. Big green trees. I lose myself looking at the intricacy of life. When I look at a tree, I imagine its broad and deep root system, its thick trunk sucking up water and nutrients like a straw, feeding its branches and leaves. Bare, the tree looks like its sinewy veins are gasping to reach for sunlight and air.
People. There is a universal condition. I see through the psycho babble we’re brought up to believe. Cultural clashes and genetical abnormalities. I believe there is a universal language in love. No matter who you are, you know and feel love. Whether you are receptive or not is another matter but everyone knows it when they feel it. No matter how broken and bruised. No matter how high the walls protecting their bruised and mishandled heart. People need to trust. They need consistency and stability. They need love that is forever. It hurts to give that up or have it thrown in your face.
William Dare 