Absolutes

Life… I’m wary of talking in absolutes. My initial inclination is to use words such as hate and always or never when talking about things I feel strongly about. I restrain these inclinations. It’s a bad habit to talk in such polarized statements.

My feelings. I feel animosity toward myself. It’s odd. I’m not where I mentally want to be. I want to be making some kind of progress. I feel that I’m not striving or pursuing with the kind of eagerness I should. I am totally losing my mind. Color. Where is the fucking color. Where is the clarity. Its up and down and all around. Where is life. Where is the depth. Where is it. I am getting angry. I’m getting upset with myself. I want to be good.