I realized I wasn’t done yet.

So I realized… I could ramble some more.

School starts soon. I hope my brain hasn’t rusted out this summer. I meant to study the LSAT. GOD. I am fed up with my lame excuses. Where is my passion? Where is my fire?? Why do I think I have any TIME? I DONT! Every moment that passes is a moment I will be judged on. I will be judged on my collective moments and I need them to work in my favor if I’m gonna achieve my goals.

What will help me out here? What do I wanna do tomorrow?

1 Alright.. read 50 pages on any book.. or any combination of 3… since I have three started.

2 Go to the beach.

… I use to have such better goal setting skills. Think!

3 Play guitar… 30 min. Time myself. No monkey business.

4…Make food… and sit at the table and eat it.

5. limit computer use to 2 hours.. GOD. I feel like thats dangerous. Maybe… 10 minutes? I can check my updates 10 times tomorrow that way. How stupid. NO COMPUTER TOMORROW!

6 RUN! I don’t care how far damnit. Get the shoes on and run somewhere. I won’t let myself stop once I get goin.

Anyway. That was boring.

I feel like I’ve thought it all… seen it all.. .and want nothing to do with it. I feel like all if for naught. At the time being anyway. I know I can reprogram myself.

BTW. In case you didn’t know.. people are overly sophisticated computers. That is all. I feel so cold when I say that. But… I believe… we are programmed by our environment, our upbringing, our parents, our every influence. We choose how these will affect us, mind you, but we are simply a collection of behaviors we’ve programmed ourselves to have. Habits. Call them whatever you want. Modes of thinking. I feel like my hard drive is going bad. I’ve reprogrammed myself to be so many people, think so many things, and not just think.. really believe and live out fully… that I am worn out. Now… I know thats bullshit… but it feels good to say it. Am I losing my mind?

I am delirious with fatigue. Rambling is therapeutic. I’ll do this again tomorrow.
In the meantime.. I will work on being more creative and exercising my will power. Will power is a big one.