Tag: confused

oh yea…. ohh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh yea…. ohh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so yea. Ive been chillin. no school. yea. no school. no college? yea. fuck that. I dont have the money right now- NOR do i have any clue as to what i want to do with my life. Im not gonna go to college just to “party it up” cause really ive already done shitloads of that. Why didnt i jump on the bandwagon and go to college like every other teen. well honestly-and if you were one of those people that jumped from highschool to college, thats great. godspeed and many blessings.- but im really not like any other teen. Oh wait. You didnt wanna go cuase you werent smart enough. Thats it. ok. I can do whatever the hell i wanna do. I can get whatever grades i wanna get. I can excel when i want to or i can not give a shit and just not care. Does this mean im not capable. um.. fuck that. I never wanted a generic lifestyle. I never want an ordinary life. I want to squeeze every bit of experience i can get out of it while im alive. I just moved to florida. i want to chill the hell out. I am smart. i do know what is going on in my life and the world. moreso than alot of people. So im chillin in my free time. guitar and reading . Im also working full time like slave and im glad like . Im saving money. I really wanna chill and get my priorities straight. And you know what? its working. I can go to school whenever i want. am i justifying the situation im in? fuck yea.

I want to travel. My goal is to save enough- and go to europe for…awhile. maybe go to school there. I dont know. I really dont know. I plan on interning at a realtors office, while getting my realtors license. make more money. but the possibilities are endless.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005, 2:52 PM

I only want to see if your ok when im not around

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I only want to see if your ok when im not around
ahhhhhhhhhhh thats me releasing bundled energy. im ready to get out. GO FAR. im feeling a random adventure to a far off place. i need to go. go go go. get away. vacation… away from the normality of life. although theres nothing normal about life. i need away from structure and expectations. i wanna goooo. where i dont know. i wanna buy a map of the US. and just book it… tooooo… whereever the small roads will take me. its time i do some exploring. i miss the adventure my life use to contain. i need more. adventure…. i miss romance… i miss fighting for causes. where are the causes and why am i not fighting. i need something. someone to fight for. or…. so im gonna start discarding the old and adopting the new. i need to lighten up. i always forget lifes fuckin sweet. but you gotta make it sweet… since when do adventures come to you on your couch? since when did romance knock on your door? you gotta go out and get it. i know plenty of young ladies that needs some romance in thier life. one in particular. MARINES. i actually cant wait. thats my opprotunity for adventures and battles… or just me being need deep in shit for four years. oh well… experience nontheless. you can be happy if you choose to be. its quite literally a choice. i shouldnt need to remind myself of that… but i do. its a refreshing reminder anyway. wanna go to the beach and play the guitar… or… go night swimming.. thats fun. god i want night swimming.. i wanna get a lil drunk and walk on the beach.. pass out and look at the stars. so why dont i do it?… im gonna start now. PROM this weekend. should be an amazing time… although im not as excited as i originally was. im looking forward to see all of the amazing girls in our limo dress up.
7:27 PM