I value knowledge… so damn much. I think its a result of some childhood trauma… maybe insecurities.Maybe.
I remember ‘smart’ was those damn kids who could spell… diagram sentences… do multiplication as fast as they could write… and do all their homework. anyway..
I want to be smart and intelligent and well read and wise. Its funny.. I’ve seen a ton of psychologists and psychiatrists and counselors and therapists and psychoanalysts in my life… and usually they pose some universal questions to get an idea of your character…such as “if you could have any super power, who would it be?” or “Who is your hero?” or “What kind of books do you like to read?”… Its funny how these questions become clearer the longer your in the system. Anyway… while I remember being angry most times I was dragged to these idiot doctors… most of whom would simply up the medication or prescribe the newest medication or try out new combinations… despite anything I said… till the point where I would just sit there for 30-60 minutes and ask them enough questions to get them talking about themselves… everyone loves talking about themselves. ANYWAY.. this kind of manipulation was pretty regular… but I can remember I had some God’s honest answers to some of these questions. The one that stuck out most in my mind was “If you could have any super power, what would it be?”… as a depressed 13 year old, I had thought of this one long and hard before… I had examined all the problems with having laser vision, or incredible strength or speed or flight or being the smartest man in the world. I knew that while having these powers would undoubtedly be awesome… they wouldn’t leave me any happier… or prevent me from knowing Truth. So… I reasoned, even at the age of 13, that if there was one quality I desired more than any other, one power that I held above the rest, it was ‘wisdom’. The proper application of knowledge. Knowing when to make a decision, how to make it and what it would lead to.
I still desire wisdom more than any other ideal. Wisdom is gleaned from experience… and it gives birth to success. Wisdom is what gets you to your goals, connecting your actions with your desires.
So in regards to the other questions… yea… I don’t have a hero. Never did. Closest I got was my father… and that was a F’in scary hero if there ever was one.
As far as favorite books? Never had one until the past few years. I was a hyperactive little child… too much curiosity with life. I never learned to tame my focus and realize there were worlds and keys that unlocked miraculous doors inside books. I was too hung up on floating dust and chewing my nails… ok so maybe not that bad… but it usually involved climbing trees, jumping stuff on my bikes, reptiles, building stuff, slingshots and playing with sticks and such. When they asked me what my favorite book was I could probably remember what I’d say… since there were pretty much two things I read religiously growing up… #1 was the encyclopedia… we had a library and every time I took a crap… or had any question in the world.. I would grab a letter and read it.. i must’ve read those things like 10 times through growing up. The other thing I read were magazines. They had pictures… short quick articles… littered with little comments that summed up ideas. I loved those damn magazines…popular science… popular mechanics…etc.,
William Dare 