Libraries are nothing more than tombs filled with epitaphs and eulogies of great men. The living flock to universities to find some common truths among the confusion that can provide some unifying meaning, e pluribus unum- out of many, one. Men spent their lives entertaining fancies about their ephemeral existence and the ether in which they swim.
I rack my brain thinking about life’s questions. Just when I abandon the pursuit and turn away, I find myself faced with even more vexations. I cannot run. Its as if I am suppose to walk in the darkness and knowingly tread on unfamiliar ground. I want to be sure, but there is no security.
blah blah blah. where are my muses?? inspire me! I can’t wait to start school. I need challenge. I need some social exposure, some stimulation.
I am free. I have to remind myself of the bigger picture. Sometimes I tend to lose sight of why I’m doing what I’m doing. I have to remind myself that I am free and that the actions I’m undertaking are a result of a prior choice made on free will. My continual commitment of that choice, reflected through daily disciplines, is apart of a greater freedom I’m seeking to achieve. I cannot forget the prize. When running a marathon, or any great race with great rewards, I suppose its easy to forget why your running. I must not lose sight of the finish line, even if I cannot see it. I must visualize what it looks like to finish victoriously and strong.
I’m always trying to evaluate my strengths and weaknesses. Just when I think I feel that I’ve mastered progress in a particular subject, I’m humbled by the realization that I don’t know anything at all.
All day long I contemplate what I must do and hesitate to do it. I just want to be. Life is a choice. It’s about the moment. Its about choosing to let go of your past, consider the future, and live in the present. I choose to be content, fulfilled and joyful. I appreciate the current situation. I am grateful for who I am and what I have.
Why do i consider so much? Why can’t just let go. Forge ahead and blaze new thoughts, relationships, realities.