not yet living

I’m not really living yet. I mean. Every day I desire something. Whether or not I choose to strive for it usually determines how I’m feeling. I’m ok with the challenge- the struggle. It feels good. And the more I do it the better I feel. eh. people. They are so funny. Sometimes I get outside myself, and get in this mode where I gain a special awareness for emotions- mine and others. I get in these states and people become predictable. Its like… I use my attitude, my rhetoric and language, to change them. To persuade or guide them into an emotional or mental place of my liking. It sounds like manipulation, but its never for selfish intent. Its for the sheer fun of it. Its not necessary misleading because I’m genuine and sincere and my intention is nothing but the best but… people. Seriously.

I was reading about attribution theory today in a social psych module. I also read about fundamental attribution error. It deals with peoples circumstances and how people interpret them based on the influence they give these circumstances rather than the influence the circumstances have in reality. I’ll write more about these thoughts but it was interesting. People.

As soon as I stop thinking about myself…Life improves. Its funny.

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