4am

I spend a lot of times trying to define things. I often have trouble trying to define myself. I let myself worry about other peoples perceptions. The last thing I’d want to do is miscommunicate myself to people and the world. If I’m misunderstood, so be it. But as long as I can help it, I’d like to.

Little bios and what not. I can’t express who I am in a biography. My nature? I’m constantly changing. Who I am changes in relation to the situation, the person. While I maintain a sense of integrity, I’m never the same.

****

Well… went to the bar this evening… got relatively intoxicated. It was one of those nights where you and your friends talk about all the deep ruminations that lay quietly at the foot of your mind. The ones that are seldom expressed and never elaborated. They were pretty fulfilling. There was a mutual eagerness to gain perspective and to share perspective.

So…I came home.. passed out. its 4am… dry as hell in the apartment. drank a bunch of water. So nice. bed time…

I can’t stop my mind. It’s racing. I lay in bed and it goes on and on. Mostly about things I’d rather not spend my time thinking about. I suppose I need to put more of the stuff i want to think about in my head.

I’ll write more later but Michel Foucault is an amazing philosopher with amazing ideas. I have been reading papers on him and how his views coincide with academic anxiety, something I used to wrestle with and can relate immensely to. Share more later.

2 thoughts on “4am”

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