I’m suffering from activation failure. I have quite a bit of essays and readings to catch up on. Especially in Advanced composition. I have a paper due Sunday. And about four readings due by 12 tonight. I have a calculus quiz tomorrow. And a cognitive psychology power point presentation due Sunday night.
Its been beautiful out recently.
Think extensively, not intensively.
My mind is in a fog. My motivation is waning. I need to get a renewed enthusiasm. Schools out in two weeks. Then I’m off to Nashville for the internship. I feel a little dead inside. I feel like a robot. A comfortable robot. Sometimes feeling like a robot is uncomfortable… its rigid, routine, and automated. Now I feel mindless. I feel like my will has dissipated. Eh.
Where is my curiosity? God. I feel so pathetic. Wheres my zest. I’m wondering… whereee aree youu?? I suppose there lies my answer. I shouldn’t be waiting for it. I feel like I sleep too often when I wait for it… and maybe I don’t even sleep… maybe I just feel fatigued. I’m gonna work out tonight. Do or Die. I did twice this week and it felt wonderful… wonderful when I look past the fact that I’m ridiculously out of shape. I get out of breath so fast. Like heart attack worthy. Where am I goinggg?????
I need to think more exactly! I need to act and not doubt. Make some decisions that I believe in. Decision means to cut off. Cut myself off from all other options but the one I choose.
What to think about… I need to shower. Award ceremony at 4:15. PTK meeting at 6:00. yay!
Where is my exciting life? I want excitement. I at least want imagination. I want to design myself a fun life… a fascinating life.
William Dare 