Cinco

Today. Today today. Finals are over. Thank god. I’m feelin free. Free to get wasted.

What to think. Today is cinco de Mayo. I find it funny to think that people need these holidays as an excuse to drink. No body really celebrates this holiday. For christ sake, half the american population is racist as hell, yet when it comes to drinking we’re hand in hand, united as one. What a day to drown our differences.

My room mates are blubbering idiots. One is a juvenile infant. Actually they both are. Only, one is emotionally retarded, while the other is mentally retarded. So he’s got this website he’s working on. His dad has money. He drives two cars around. Ones a bmw five series, the other’s a renovated range rover. He graduated a semester behind his class because he was too caught up in fraternity scene to notice he was fifteen credits behind. So he stayed an extra semester, still in the frat, to continue with his partying. The past semester he’s had a part time job at TVA, the tennessee power company. He claims he doesn’t do shit all day. He goes out drinking into the night, comes home at 3 in the morning, wakes up at 10, goes to work until three or four-ish, watches TV for a few hours, or surfs the net on his ipad, then he goes out drinking. I forgot to mention, mostly cause it’s hardly worth mentioning, but it’s funny so I’ll say it: he’s got his heart set on being on entrepreneur. While it’s an admirable goal, the guy hasn’t a clue about responsibility, hard work, discipline. Maybe he’s got home ingenuity, but most of that is ripped off other people he finds on the web for inspiration. So this website he wants to make is gonna make him millions, he says. That way, all those girls that he’s never hooked up with will ‘want his balls’ when they see all his money. He’s approached investors who’ve told him that he’s an idiot, to show a product first, or some kind of progress. That they won’t invest the 50 million he wants until there’s something to look at. Did I mention he hasn’t a clue how to program? So his website is called “plan jar”. He’s told some young computer geeks that he would make them rich, this way he can capitalize on their talent while they build him a site. Anyway. I suppose I might be a little hard on the guy. Either way, he’s a child. An emotionally retarded child. Always talking about these girls he met, and they wanted his dick so bad, but the stories are always predictable. they didn’t go home with him, and he didn’t get laid, and he’s alright with that. It’s comical really.

As for my other roommate. He’s a swell guy. Pretty sure he’s full blown autistic. Can barely hold a conversation with him. Actually, he doesn’t talk really, except to bash our muslim president, or regurgitate some other unoriginal racial slurs. He’s a die hard catholic, a republican, a true american. His daddy’s in the commercial real estate business, so he’s got some money, and he’s always ready to tell people, especially those who don’t have it. Know what I hate, he says. I hate poor people. Poor people are pathetic. I just think to myself… really? Really you dumb piece of shit? What did you ever work for that wasn’t handed to you? What opportunities did you jump on that were actually your ideas? Anyway. He’s got a smokin’ penchant for cocaine, another opinion he’s apt to proclaim. Not the sharpest tool.

Today is cinco de mayo. I know the routine, all too familiar. Drink margarita’s, corona, teqilla shots, or any other alcohol the mexicans export over here. Take over a tex mex bar. Get decently shit faced, and when i say decently, i mean shit you pants shit faced. Find a female who’s equally inebriated, do your best to reach a mutual decision to have irresponsible sex, wake up mid afternoon, tell her to leave. Actually, that’s not how I do it. Everything up until there is halfway accurate until telling her to leave. I just ask her, politely, if she has anyone that can pick her up, or if she’d like me to drive.

Ah, yes. The college life. I’m not sure if I’m done with it yet or not. Being irresponsible, that is. At what point in my life did I forget that I can’t fuck up anymore? That I’ve done it all before, had all the sex, indulged all the irreproachable things in life that are fun, for a night. Especially when you want to forget about the monotony of life’s routine.

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