I am super complicated and abnormal in the most normalized way possible. You probably shouldn’t date me. I’ll probably try to seduce you, because I try to seduce everyone. The people it works on I end up getting bored with, and the people it doesn’t work on, they usually just don’t feel it anyway, so it never works out. But it’s not malicious or deviant. I just love when people love me, probably because I struggle to love myself, and even though I think I’m passed that, and have a healthy self love, the habits are hard to break.
I’m weird cause I really don’t want to be like anyone else. I kinda look down on “normal” people, people with unoriginal ideas or lifestyles. I realize I sound like a complete ass. But the truth is, I love everyone, very much. I’m friends with the fringe, people who walk to the beat of their own drum. Weirdos. Intellectuals. Artistic types. Eccentrics. I feel normal with these personalities. I don’t like being apart of the herd, unless I’m leading it. And if I’m apart of a herd, I’d like it to be a pretty damn amazing herd, with compassionate thinking rebellious individuals.
My life is spent overthinking, or not thinking at all. I seem to operate on this binary, forever, no matter how hard I try to find balance. It’s all or nothing. I do find that the overthinking extreme is more productive. When I’m in this mode, I’m usually reading or writing voraciously, and working like a mad man to build “the” business. I’m super outgoing, but I have an aversion to most people. Which is a bummer. So rather than be the life of the party, while feeling completely alone, I opt for nights on my leather couch reading, journaling, overthinking, listening to music. And now. On dating websites.
Of course I go out and see my friends from time to time. I drink. I smoke here and there. I take psychedelics on occasion. But I strive to lead a healthy lifestyle. I eat very healthy, cook most meals, and work out as often as possible. Usually weights, cause I hate cardio, and I like looking good. But who doesn’t, right?
I’m super picky, but sometimes I settle if I really enjoy a personality. Real beauty shines from within. I really believe this. But it’s really hard to look past obesity or looking like trash. Being healthy and slender and fit makes it so much easier. So there’s that.
You probably shouldn’t date me. But if any of this sounded remotely okay with you, and you are a thrive on out of the ordinary experiences, then I’d probably love to meet you.