look

are you happy? did you champion all you set out to accomplish in the microcosmic world you set up for yourself in your head? do you have enough? are you popular enough? did you party hard enough? smoke enough? drink enough? do enough lines? pop enough pills? reach the point of ecstasy you thought youd need to complete your life? did you kiss enough? fuck enough? did you get all the sex that you thought would make you happy? all the attention? are you efficient enough? do you work enough? enough to gather all the worldly materialistic possessions you thought would bring you to the pinnacle of happiness? are you crazy enough? original enough? are you cooool enough? do you have everyone youve ever met praising your coolness? are you knowledgeable enough? do you read enough? is your vocabulary large enough? impressive enough? is your IQ enough to get you where you need to go? want to go? are reasonable enough? you are you smart enough? smart enough to come up with wit and quips that you thought everyone adored in a person? are you funny enough? do people think your deep enough? enough to sooth their troubled heart and heavy head? or explore the subconscious depths of thier mind when they talk to you? are you easygoing enough to bring anyone and everyone to ease? is your profile designed and structured… enough? do you have enough friends? internet buddies? do you look good enough? is your hair cool enough? your smile? eyes? ears? nose? chin? body? arms? legs? gut? are you gentically enough? do you impress enough? are you good enough?

have you ever had enough? only to realize its never enough?

enough adj 1Sufficient to meet a need or satisfy a desire; adequate

what the fuck is everyone looking for? why the fuck is EVERYONE SEARCHING? FOR WHAT? WHat is everyone searching for? WHY? why do people give up? cause maybe your looking in all the wrong places.um…i do it.

LISTEN TO ME IF YOU READ THIS

If you keep doing what your doing YOULL KEEP GETTING WHAT YOUR GETTING

does that make sense? um. how about be real. with yourself and others. and give up searching in temporary things. things that are subject to change. search for truth and goodness. they never change.

aand that was my mind.

and i feel bad for way too many people. and at times sadly enough… myself. cause i know better.

GOD.

i dunno.

lying

Friday, August 05, 2005

lying
Im sitting next to dead air while there is a garden of life outside my window. With this wooden chair sapping the life out of my body, i ask myself how much longer ill live. Ill walk and rub my face into the the wind. Skipping the cracks that divide my steps and grabbing onto passing trees. Humming myself a melody and look toward the setting sun- green lawnchairs are great for resting i mumbled. i found that lying in wet grass is more comforting than most feeble arms.