thoughting

there comes a point where you run out of answers. the bandaids dont seem to stick anymore. you have to hold them on the wound to prevent bleeding if you ever want it to heal. love never goes away. youd think that it would. everything passes. new days rise and fall. the seasons come and go. the new dies and passes away turning to old. why then does love persist just as strong as the first moment my eyes passed her way and caught glimpse of the embodiment of love should look like. idealism just doesnt work in love. there is nothing ideal about love. about being selflessly devoted to another. and not having answers. try to hold it together. hm. i wonder. sometimes i feel like dwelling on the past is a horrible thing. then i rationalize and call it reflecting. well. it hurts. i feel like i always have an answer, even if it isnt the end all be all it answers the here and now. that suffices me for a shortwhile. till i find i need more answers. i should place my faith in god and the future and do my best at what i know is right.

i lie to myself alot. i think. i figured it out. the new is new when its all you have. you need to replace the new with something innovative so it looses its zest and appeal. and if its ne