Interior & Exterior relationships

Stories. Stories transcend explanation.

In every experience, in every interpretation, there lies a relationship between self and that of the occurrence. Either literally or metaphorically, you are engaged in a meaningful intimate relationship that is prompted by the desire to examine the dynamics involved, as well as how they react towards previous experiences. I will state that reality is rarely real, rather a conjecture of assimilated facts and relationships. The facts of any reality are reinforced outcomes that provide a constant source of reliance when testing variables to other unknowns; or when hypothesizing (you might say philosophizing) the relationships that exist between these facts. The dynamics are endless and soon supporting evidence, namely facts for the sake of stability, run out. What remains is a question in which you must settle for an answer based on what your assimilated experiences and intuitions have led you to deduct as true. This seems like a faulty way of approaching life but it seems that this is the way people perceive reality.
The exterior landscape of our mind acts much like a collage would if we glanced at the array of snapshots organized and orchestrated to provide the most significant meaningful interpretation possible. It’s the exterior landscape. Our eyes look at what is, through our eyes. We choose to see matter existing and we allow it to pass through our eyes and encode itself into an image that we place in the back of our mind. Now the greater collection of these images the more correlations can be made. The exterior landscape of our mind consists of the logical processes of life. What the sky looks like. How clouds move and form and dissipate through evaporation or precipitation. What a woman looks like. What the sound of laughter resembles. What different forms the landscape portrays. The erosion in the soil, the rivers and streams, the luminous trees extending upward coated in a sheen brilliance of chlorophyll saturated leaves, the ocherous discrepancies in a striated mountain. People of different races. A vibrant color, a shape, a design. There are the elements we use to shape our exterior landscape. We perceive them to be real.
The interior landscape exists on a much more universal plane. It deals with metaphorical, analogical, relational consistencies and patterns. This is the formula we use to deduce meaning from the exterior landscape. It makes the inanimate, animate. The interior landscape sees beyond tangible patterns and explores the relationship between one perceived entity and another. This creates understanding that fuels future assumptions and allows more significance to be gleaned from the exterior landscape. New concepts, insights, and ideas are aroused that give substantial meaning to once potentially unimaginable visions and experiences. The interior landscape is a universal language that can only be spoken and understood if the proper exterior landscape exists to incubate these metaphorical connections. The interior landscape must be tilled through extensive attention to detail. Keen and open experiences, even brief aphorisms that resonate and illustrate tangible tested qualities of truth- provide details, that paint and color in the regions of intentional brush strokes left by the assimilation of the interior landscape. The less color- the less comprehension is transcended to others for relation. You can work with very little experiences and deduct very similar conclusions. Your limits are imposed by your lack of imagination within the interior landscape. Not due to lack of tools and opportunities provided by abundant experiences supplementing your exterior.
The drive for communicating foreign contexts of exterior landscapes and the intrinsic meaningful relationships of the interior landscape behind them, from one person to another, truly relies on the ability and understanding to communicate on an interior level. To make the relationships identifiable through sheer honesty of the formula used to assimilate the experience. Every story has a formula that consists of much more than basic nouns and pro-nouns and prepositions. It is the diction, the rhetoric, the language, and gesture, and style- totally separate from intellect- that fits together in a universal communicable truth that arrives at the ears of the listener. It involves the faculties of the metaphysical intuition, which resonate with truth and integrity, to embrace the extended shared experience. You can grow just from hearing another’s story. His interpretation- His perception of assimilated events stowed away carefully in a supportive woven web of meaning.

No matter if you don’t understand this concept. The significance of thinking has degraded generously the past century. Thinking is a job, and as long as we aren’t getting paid to do so, we’d rather rely on tangible crutches to do our thinking and form the relationships we use to signify meaning. It seems rare in this culture at least that creativity is original. It’s all copped and cropped. We are no longer stimulated to think. I feel that this lack of enthusiasm is due to the misconception that it’s all been thought before. That all your answers are out there. Except for the basic anomalies of God and existence and dimensions- there are only lose ends to be tied up and soon enough they will too be explored. It may be hard to recognize the meaning in something so trivial as the lost art communicating of multiple levels.

There is a dark giant cloud of cultural, economic, and political oppression that exists to convince us that our interpretations are as irrelevant in the scheme of life as a single drop of water is irrelevant to the whole ocean. I’d like to see beyond that significance.

ideal emotions

the tv blurbs in the distant. candescent rays stretch their fingers to the far reaches of the room. the hum of electric machinery puts my mind into a hypnotic daze. I peruse over my introspective findings, carefully examining my character. Im trying understand why people try convincing themselves and others that there are monsters out there waiting for an opprotunity to ravage their hearts and minds. i uncover weakness in my walls of defense. ive assembled a wall around the idealism that ive formed to match perfection. Ive mapped out an ideal life that covers every conceieveable need. Life, Wife, Job, Social logically it can be harmonious and sound. emotional entanglement throws off logic creating weakness in my de

part-e

i partied way too much this week. its catching up to me and for some reason im still crawling and it hurts.ive gotta make myself totally sober for a week. i had outta control experiences this past week. and for everyone who was there to share them with me you know what im talkin about. its wearing on my health and commitments this partying is. i dont like it one bit. im struggling to find motivation to go to the gym. i was doinng sooo good too. damnnnnnnnn. alright. reevaluate mike. stick it out. just get in there. eat right motherfucker. stop drinking beer like its a staple food product of survival. and you’d think like i was starving the way i ferociously pound beer after beer. ewwwww. it makes my stomache quesy. ive had that quesy stomache feeling all week. ive been horny as shit lately. im not gonna hide it anymore. ive been coming to certain relizations about being modest. usually im modest with my intentions. but im gonna start throwing it out there and snag a few. i need to quench that sexual desire. summer is almost done. its like… almost done. everyone leaving and sheeet. i hate it. all my peeps are dispersing once again. *tear* im sure ill make it through all right. whatev. good times this summer. especially the past month. shits been goin off like crazyyyyyyyy. holla.

journaling

i was getting tired of posting blogs on myspace. people dont give a shit to look at any of that stuff. i just need to write and let go sometimes. so um. here i am. ive been very thoughtful lately. i dont know if thats good or bad, but ive been really delving into things. its pretty unnecessary. ive been thinking alot. im so over so much shit. im tired of dick people who dont take thier time to get to know anyone. i like meeting everyone. and what i dont like is the people who dont give any thought to anyone else but themselves. alot of people like that lately. whatever.

my moms going to jersey for the summer, my sisters leaving for college soon, my younger sisters never around. so that leaves my dad and i alone in this house. not that im gonna ever see him cause he travels and works more than anyone ive ever met, but its a potentially scary situation. we’ll see tho. everyone that i remained close with the past year has moved the fuck away. mostly college. and everyone else i use to keep in touch with just disappeared. i dont do drugs so i keep myself from people that put me in those compromising situations. i dunno. i decided to pick my friends instead of having them around for convenience. so i only have like… very few now. my choice. the people i happen to surround myself with are the best people ive met so its straight. ive had alot of free time for good stuff like lifting, getting in shape, eating really good stuff. um. jakes gonna be my lifting partner for the next two months so im stoked about that. i started playing my guitar alot more. it feels good to write music again. dino fuckin belli left me. it sucks. im gonna visit him. colorado. nice place.

heavy heavy low low is amazing.
im so tired i have one eye open.

going to bed.

DRUNK AS SHIT

Current mood: blank

well.. november 6th 2004 was a historic night… THe drunkest mike has and will ever get… ever… because if i do happen to get any drunker id die….

i dont remember a whole lot after finishing the cuervo… i remember drinking a bottle of cuervo… and… some beer…and jello shots and having a good time the whole night… socializing… you know… doin what people to at partys when they are drunk….being crazy… meeting people.. doin the whole drunk thing… they had a mean slippin slide goin on outside… beer bongs… keg stands all night… everyone was drunk and being straight… until someone slashed my boys tires… then i got in killer mode… and (not naming any names) a “bunch” of upset/ pissed off/ crazed “people” went to his house and fucked the shit outta his house… windows and everything.. and his car is in ruins now….. and i have a gaping laceration in my hand with flesh all mangled and hanging out of it… and blood… and then round 300 just when the cops arrived i started throwing my brains up..in the bathtub (KEWL).. interesting… the bathroom was a bloody mess with my blood… and the bathtub was a giant cesspool… i thought i was gonna die… i was so drunk. i was so drunk i could hear everyone talking… but i couldnt see anything… and i couldnt even put words together to talk.. i was like… mentally retarded… my mind and body where completely unattached… i tried my hardest to form words and intelligible sentences/phrases… but it mostly came out in mumbling… the cops took pity on me… i told them in was all jennifers fault…they found that funny… jen didnt… i was havin a jolly time talking and listening to them as i was passed out throwin up… we had a ball.. they went easy on me tho… not funny was havin to hear my dads voice in the background when he came to pick me up at 400… he wasnt happy… and i was drunk… if you know my dad you just picture his face and look of disgust as he saw his pitiful drunk as hell son tryin to mumble to him… so he was not at all proud of me that night… esp after hearing i was a suspect in the whole rampage ordeal.. im clear tho… soo… .. i cant find my license… i think that the cops thieved it… hm… soo… i bonded with alot of people that night…. dont remember half of them… i will when i see the people again..i hope… except i do remember grace lauri and lauren.. i remember bonding with them…

what else… i woke up at like 1:00 still half drunk… and im still hungover and sore like crazy..my left hand is mangled… my right hand is like sprained… what i night…some joe shmo tried fighting me… while i had a bat in my hand… what the hell is wrong with people… people really have no common sense when theyre drunk…i shoulda knocked some sense into him..i took pity tho. it was the alcohol.

school tomorrow.. cool…

12:38 AM