Thursday, November 09, 2006
what i want
right now.. and i mean at this moment…i dont wanna know anyone. i wanna live in a hole and think and do what i want. and read. forever. and honestly drink coffee in a tree. or maybe on some moss surrounded by ferns. and continue reading into the day until i find myself in a flowery grassy meadow where the rivers gurgling is heard not too far off. and i can read and smoke a pipe. and drink tea. and sit under a great tree thats wide and full with life. and ill sit under it in the middle of a field. and maybe that girl will be waiting there. and we’ll sit there and read and reflect and have intelligent conversations. and not worry about time or anything like that. ill have a pocket watch(only for looks) and she’ll be wearing a white dress and ill only be wearing jeans. and ill have long blonde hair and she’ll have long flowing blonde hair. and there will be a path i follow home thats been trodden with barefeet all summer long. i want to be able to breath deep and with every last breath, savor the aroma of life all around me. the nectar and the blossuming flowers and the lush green leaves. i really want to get lost in a book. and nevermind the little bugs that fall onto the pages, but shoo them along and smile. i want to climb trees and pick apples and look at the beautifully pristine blue sky dotted with white cotton clouds and the suns soft rays. i want to look up at lively weathered trees as tall as sky scapers and run through the forest. i want to go home to a cozy cottage with all the necessities and none of the excessities;). i want to have a little wood stove and a little wood table with little wood stools and a little wood desk tucked away in the corner by the window. i want a library and a bedroom lined with decor from my adventures. there will be no wants or needs. i will provide for myself and her. and there will be no distractions. no image. no drama. no lies. no wants. no evil. nothing unecessary or distracting from living a simple and fulfilling life of happiness and the persuit of knowledge and wisdom. i want a pretty little woman with no selfish desires left because ive taken care of all her needs. because i love her. and she’ll love me.
and when i gather all the wisdom a man can carry ill go out into the world and share it with everyone. and everyone will listen because im wise and ill know how to appeal to the longings of their deepest desires.and they will know everything i say to be true because it will be the sweetest thing they’ve every heard. and ill share with them my secrets and many men will find true meaning and they will share this meaning as i have done. and slowly the world will become a better place.
until then. i need to focus on developing myself despite my circumstances so one day this might happen.