i realized that trying to hard is too obvious. whether trying to be something or someone or get something or someone or achieve something or go somewhere. in the end… you bring this attention to yourself and people say to themselves… there’s way too much effort involved here. i can almost hear people thinking it to themselves when they see it. when they see it in me. when they see it in others. so what im thinking is dont make yourself change. dont try. what people need is the firm resolve of a determined soul. there is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can curcumvent or hinder or control it. (ella wheeler wilcox.) i dunno. you just need to operate in the subconscious rather than the conscious. you can’t control every little tick-when your consciously in control. so envision it, capture it in your heart, your mind, your soul, so that it becomes imbedded into your being- your subconscious. it will operate on your behalf without you even knowing it. and you will do things so much more cooly and confidently because you wont be exerting any effort.