Paychonaut

My buddy and I had an incredible trip at Joshua tree with a bunch of righteous dudes last weekend. We were in the desert, under this black abyss of a sky saturated in fiery starlight and streaking with meteors, climbing massive rocky mountainsides like deranged goats, full moon, simmering campfire and guitars and melodious music.

I came back this week with this ultra refreshed state of mind. Anxiety was purged. It happens every time. This gradual accretion of mental knots that suddenly tightens during a trip, then unravels, leaving you cleansed. No paralysis. Just present. The harder the trip, the more purified you come out.

No sure if my buddies felt the same, but I really had an intense (and fun) trip, and worked through all this shit that was strangling my subconscious. And this week I was just like who… clearsighted, energy, productive.

Whenever I haven’t dosed for a time, the respect for the trip is like amplified, and I have this inherent reservation that I always ignore, but it’s there. I ignore it because I’ve tripped enough that it’s just irrational, and the intensity is what gives birth to the catharsis that waits on the other side.

I respect the experience. It’s truly a therapy. And i truly believe it’s an amazing way to cleanse the mind of endless knotted thoughts and anxieties that weigh the conscious experience down like weights, like mud.

I truly hope it gains mainstream acceptance as a reasonable and healthy way to purify the mind from anxieties, from moods, from the ego that hijacks the waking experience and makes you a slave to this self surveillance and self judgement.

Psychedelics just extinguish the ego, the me, the I, the self, and you come out on the other side present, without effort. It’s a mental housekeeping, like dusting the cobwebs that collect on the windows of the soul.

You come out of the experience in the now, present. Everything is happening, unfolding, flowing, and you just are. There’s an integration. A presence. It’s effortless. It’s like waking up and new eyes greet the day, greet new thoughts and feels as if you’ve been rebirthed.

The stench of stagnation is eradicated. There is a clearing. It’s quite amazing.

Typically I find my mental state accumulating thoughts and feelings and moods and states of beings like a rolling stone, collecting dirt and moss and snow and mud and odds and ends, growing larger and larger until I can barely stand it, and i indulge in radically distracting activities and behaviors to cope

Maybe drinking, maybe womanizing, or dating, or smoking a zillion cigarettes, working out like a crazy person, or scheduling and weighing every iota of food i consume, or some compulsive impulsive obsession. Or i want to sleep, and escape by dreaming, and living on the other side of the coin, in my sleeping dreams… for hours, whenever I can. I’m aware of these progressively accreting states, but it’s hard to escape yourself: wherever you go, there you are.

Meditation… sure. It’s probably the best habit ever. Mindfulness. Duh. Prayer. Whatever. Working out can be like that. So can writing. Or playing music. So can travel… travel always alleviates the accumulating webs of constraining mental matter and moods.

But psychedelics? Specifically lsd? It’s like. A spiritual awakening. Sometimes trips are hard. It’s like giving birth.

Your anxieties manifest and you can’t hide. And you face them and squeeze through them. But you always make it through. It’s always an incredibly powerful experience. And you go to sleep, and when you wake up, things are different. Free. Relaxed. Open. Present. Life is happening. And you embrace. You don’t fight. You just are, unattached, yet involved… apart of the flux and flow. It’s still not well understood, and there’s still a culture lacking around it, but I believe it’s like one of the most powerful little therapies available, if approached intelligently and openly and authentically

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