Wants

I want someone who wants me. Appreciates me. Loves me. Desires me. And I’ve chased you. Since day fucking one. I’ve tried everything to get you to want me. I’ve been patient. I make compromises. I’m the one who waits around. Waits for you. Considers your feelings. It’s never good enough. Never. I never feel good enough. I am always insensitive. I’m always the asshole. I’m always the jerk. I’m always selfish. You say the most horrible stuff to me. You act like I don’t care about you. You act like I don’t care about your feelings. The stuff you’ve said to me. You think I’m a piece of shit. You think I’m a fucking nasty pervert. You don’t event want to sleep with me. Its a chore to have sex with me. You can have sex with all these people, and when it comes to me, I’m insensitive and inconsiderate and never care about your feelings never care about how you feel. I feel used. I feel like I always try to make you happy and its never good enough. Never ever ever fucking good enough for you. And I never will be. And Its a horrible feeling. All I want is to be wanted. I ask you to talk to me. To share your feelings. And you don’t. When I tell you how I feel you tell me I’m wrong. You tell me i deserve to feel that way cause I make you feel bad. And I would never know it cause you don’t bother to talk to me. And when I told to you you don’t even listen. You tell me how you feel. You tell me I deserve to feel that way. Cause I’m not good enough by your standards. No I’m not okay. No matter what I do its my fault. If I feel bad then it makes you feel bad and its all my fault. Doesn’t matter. My efforts don’t matter. Nothing matters to you. You would let me go and never look back.

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