I am hungry. Change needs to happen. Radical change. But not overnight. Persistence. Goals. Visions. Chipping away. Focus. I have been trying to become so pained by my situation, that I am forced to act on the tasks necessary to achieve.
I am hungry. I don’t want to be lazy. I don’t want to be okay. Okay is okay for a lot of people. I just would rather die than know my life was average… or just… okay. What’s special about that? And the only one that can change it is me. People have average lives, just coast, never commanding their best talents and energies and imagination… by being okay. By rationalizing. By embracing comfort, as if it’s something to aspire do. We will die someday. The thought that my life resembled a vegetable, just waiting to fall off the vine and rot, is revolting. I don’t want okay. I don’t want to know that my genetic material persisted for billions of years just to be okay. I don’t want to exist. I don’t want to get by. I want to feel the weight of the world, and bear it. I want it to make me stronger, and the key is figuring out ways to overcome my weak flesh, my desire to be okay.. to seek equilibrium. But I want growth. I want to struggle upwards, and outwards.
I don’t want to be dull and insipid. I want to have a maniacal vision, and fight for it. What is the point of life? What is divine about marching towards death with the crowds?
I just want to know my spirit and soul bore some worthwhile challenge. Whether it was thrust upon me, or chosen by me. It must happen. I cannot allow myself to just be okay.
The human spirit is so resilient.
We underestimate our ability.
We must always force ourselves to go to failure, to go to the limit. That’s the only way we grow. That’s the only way we test our strength and build our character.
And my character is what I will impress upon the world, my children, my friends.
Character is the only legacy we have. The effects of which live on forever.
I just do not want to get comfortable. Ever.