Party

party

i was at a really cool party on jupiter island. lots of cool kids. and if you were there and youre reading this you know it was a good time. um… i dont remember passing out, which means i was probably over my limit… oh wait.. definately over the limit, and i woke to sunlight purging my room.I sat up to better aquaint myself with the surroundings. As I looked out the glass window of the room there was the most brilliant ocean I’ve ever seen (not that i havent seen an ocean but how often do you open your eyes to the beach). anyway. it was awesome… opening my eyes to an amazingly beautiful day… in an awesome house…no less on the beach.

cool cool
11:40 AM

choose your friends

Friday, May 26, 2006

choose your friends
I Love everyone..
Show me your friends, and I’ll show you what kind of person you are.thats very true. i ask myself if my friends are my friends out of convenience or because they really care about my well being? do i have to strive do to right, to be a better person, or have goals in order to keep my friends? do my friends even care? Do i choose my friends or do i let them choose me? What kind of friends do you want? I want people that motivate me. I want people that strive on knowledge and wisdom and learning and success. I want that to rub off on me. I want people that think. That are decisive. That aren’t confused. That aren’t satisfied with minimum effort. Who dont worry. Who dont procrastinate. Who have goals. Who aren’t lazy. Who enjoy life. Who love life. Who appreciate everything. I wanna be around people who are constantly thinking. Who are problem solvers. Who think positively.

Ive had alot of friends. Ive had alot of good friends. Ive had alot of bad friends. I thank God for everyone. They all taught me something. They taught me one of two things. The right way to do something. And the Wrong way to do something. I know enough of what doesnt work.

I’m looking for the people who know what works.

blah blah blah

Lifes up and down and all around and Im not ready to settle on deciding that life is one way or the other. Im really content right now exploring new things and new people and pushing myself in a direction that calls for discipline and self-control.

Ive abandoned the short roads that addiction and abuse lead you. Ive called myself to a task of finding out how powerful my will is and how far am I willing to go with and for myself. I’m my only fan. There is no one else pushing me. No one wakes me up in the morning. I dress myself. If these things are learned and automatic I think I am more than able to incorporate a variety of valuable success tools into my life that can become just as mastered.

I’ve learned in my life that there is absolutely no absolute. Life is not one way. Its whatever and however you choose to see it. You consciously and probably more often subconsciously decided whats good and whats bad. I’ve decided that my failures are the farthest thing from bad. I’ve failed more times in my life than the majority of the people Ive met. I’ve had more opportunity thrown away because of my shortsightedness than most people are willing to hear.

What I know now is I want nothing more than to never make the same mistake twice. I want to learn from my failures. I see that the more I fail, the more I learn. The key is to keep your focus on your goal and success. andddddddd blah blah blah.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Pain

Friday, May 12, 2006

Pain
We must all suffer from one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The pain of discipline weighs ounces while the pain of regret weighs tons. Think on that, and put your priorities where they need be.

blog

Monday, May 08, 2006

blog
I came to grips with the fact that I’m alright when people lie to me. It’s not in my hands and I’m not thier conscious. I think no less of them than the person they always were. I realize, however, I need to be a little more cautious with who i surround myself with. A friend is only a friend when they’re there when you need them.

OOoo. and i saw Lynard Skynard. so I’m totally aware that this isn’t the original band, (1977 plane crash) but it was AMAZING music nonetheless. cheers.

winners never quit, quitters never win.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

winners never quit, quitters never win.

Everyday I find myself staring at opportunity. Everyday I’m cornered by my conscious. I’m all alone with myself and I haven’t the strength to fight back. Its not your setbacks, but your comebacks that count. I dont really know what that means. I’ve allowed myself to slip into a complacent state of gray. I fear nothing but failure, and failure has me in the heaviest dregs a man can lift. I find myself in a greater fear of living than of any death imaginable. I ask myself if this is normal. I ask myself if I’m okay with this. Manipulation has ruined me.

Confused and lost

Saturday, April 01, 2006

….
Confused and lost. Programming myself on a daily basis. I know too much for my own good. I don’t know what I want. I know what I don’t. I struggle daily with vices, addictions, motivating. I’m obsessed with learning, knowledge, acquiring it, putting it to use; and at the same time, totally wasting away because life is short and seemingly unfulfulling. Creativity can be practiced. You’re only as smart as you think you are. Know you are. What is my existence. It’s a cruel catch phrase. I want to catch something that will pull me along. Passions are postal stamps. You label your hobbies as cool. Nothing is filling. Negetivity will bring you nothing, show you nothing. I know nothing in the scheme of things. I think too much. I get headaches, heartaches, and stomache aches. I am conscious all the time. There is little I overlook. I say everything for a reason. But it doesn’t mean i mean it. I look past and beyond whats behind and in front of me, obstacles, you know. I realize my happiness is trivial when compared to yours. I hope your happy. Love exists only in the eyes of a blind man. Fortunately you can gouge your eyes out. I only plead with myself. Im very articulated and poigant. Picky, selective, particular but I’ll lead you to believe I’m not. I’ll please you, but your not special. Few read the credits. Who really cares about anyone but themselves. I can be your biggest fan. I believe in bliss. Lying to youself. Ignorance. I have a hard time dealing with reality. Reality is debatable. I can close my eyes. I escape too often. No ones special without a label. Power corrupts. Knowledge corrodes. Wisdom prevails. and all this means absolutely nothing.

Monday, March 27, 2006

fornication
Current mood: drunk
Category: Life
i believe in bullshit. i believe it gets in everyones hair. i believe that people love mashing it all over themselves. i believe theyre convinced itll do them some good. but what it comes down to is bullshit is bullshit. if it smells like shit its shit. it does nothing for me. when i see or hear bullshit it i get nauseas. i save my breath, and id save yours if i could, but some people love bullshit. id rather cut the shit, save my time, and get down somethin fresh like watermelon or apples.

Old Pro

old pro

Everyone is gifted with Free-Thinking. Your Thoughts are the seedlings that birth your Actions; while your collective Actions mold your Character and construct your Circumstances.

Whenever I’m curious as to how I ended up at a certain place in my life I remind myself of these truths, and through self-control, reinforce a positive state of mind to compliment my ideals. The more sacrifice for the good of my effort, the closer I stand to achievement. The only measure of life is through personal achievement.

4:30 PM

waking up

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

waking up

I woke this morning to a cool draft circulating throughout my sleeping place. I breathed in. The coolness soothed my lungs as I softly inhaled through my nose. I let out a sigh and opened my eyes. The humming of my fan quietly complimented the other sweet noises that lay just beyond my window. The birds chirped sweet little songs back and forth to one another and little children splashed about in the pool across the way. I could make out a brilliantly blue, cloudless, sky from the cracks of my blinds. They chattered lightly with every breath of air that found its way into my room. I pulled off my covers to further examine the renewed day. Today the grass was greener. The animals were no longer strangers to the neighborhood as they pranced around under my sill. Life outside seemed to be alive and dancing, fueled by the gentle zephyr rolling across the landscape. I longed to be outside- to lie in the grass, to submerge myself in a cool blue pool.

Pride

Friday, February 24, 2006

Pride
Today the revelation occurred to me that Pride, or self- conceit, is the well-spring of all other vices, the father of all other sins, and the roots of all that is morally corrupt. No one is without pride. Everyone loathes it when it is seen in someone else; and hardly any people even imagine that they are guilty of it themselves.
I dont really feel like expanding much more on the subject.
These particular thoughts were especially uneasy to swallow.

Compilation of posts

Friday, February 17, 2006

if anything appears to be skewed- eat it.
what i learned today-

if you are not in shape- don’t run your hardest for miles upon miles. the ending result – a seemingly endless stream of fluids (ex- the coffee i had for breakfast) spewing from your mouth.

take this into consideration the next time you feel super and want to run forever.
2:18 AM

Thursday, February 16, 2006

i like to touch with my eyes.
Im getting really tired of trying to communicate with people lately. the effort involved with trying to convey my thoughts and heartfelt emotions is being trampled by the frustrations of being ignored. so i made a decree to stop making an effort and just write it down.

oh and girls impress me.
12:20 AM

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Gainesville
Im in gainesville tonight to see boxelder. HOLLA AT BOXELDER. see them. be there. gainesvilles awesome. muy women. going skateboaring right now. im inebriated to the full extent. cheers to all.
4:42 AM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

car accident
ya i wrecked my jeep just days after i got it back. yay. carless.
10:52 AM

Thursday, February 02, 2006

oh
oh shit im drunk. holla.

FUQIN YAY MAN, COLLEGE. EDUCATION. WOOT.

Friday, December 23, 2005

FUQIN YAY MAN, COLLEGE. EDUCATION. WOOT.

fuqin a man.

here’s something for you.

today a college degree means shit. sorry if that offends you. but you spend a good 4 years (and they’re quality i’m sure of it… babes..booze… all that) to get a degree… that… hundreds of other applicants applying for the job have. and what makes you so special? when you do get the job… and work for some corporation… who owns you… you give you’re life to that company..blood swaet and tears… to people who consider you despensible. because there are others just like you. you are in a rat race. and you will always be a rat.jk.but now you’re four years deep in debt because of a college education… but cant find a job with the degree that will free them of thier debt. wow. so now you struggle to pay the bills… pay off debt. work ungodly hours. and try to maintain a dwindling social life (which is the only thing worth living for). ouch.

with that in mind. the people who are going to be successful in this day and age… are those who have amazing people skills. who understand the value of relationships and networking. who invest time into relationships and people who value you as much as you value them. investments will make you money. they will make you free.

its not what you know. its what you do with what you know. and who you know.

btw. education is important.

FUNNY SHITITTITITITITI

Thursday, December 15, 2005

FUNNY SHITITTITITITITI

first. last night was tpp out of control. one of the kids i was with ended up going into someone elses house. heres how it went down.

this kid gets wayyy wasted (there are 3 kids in this story, kid 1, kid 2, and kid 3). like… way wasted. kid 1 is driving around with kid 2 and 3. kid 1 stopped the car for some reason. got out. kid 2 is passed out. kid 3 is barely conscious and krunked. kid 1 realized they werent where they thought they were. kid 1 gets back in. realizes the 3rd kid is missing. they are too messed up to do anything about it. next morning kid 3 calls them. this is what i collected from the story i was told:

apparently he thought he was dropped off at his house. he proceded to go inside some random house. somewhere in the midst of it all he lost all clothing minus a shoe and his under garments. he recollected vaguely that people were asking him alot of questions before police arrested him as he was in their bathroom washing his hands.

he spent the rest of the morning sobering up in the back of the police car. no charges were pressed.

how fuckin funny is that. and the more details you know they funnier.

i need to slow down.

yummer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

yummer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so today i decided that i appreciate the little clouds that are lost all by themselves in the massive atmosphere we call sky. they’re the real frontiersmen. they gather up surrounding moisture and dust and form lil blobs in the sky that i can watch when im bored. i honestly dont know what i’d do without them.

today i meditated to the note E. it was an uplifting experience.

i talked to this girl today. while i’ve already made the conclusion that i think all women are absolutely cracked out and crazy when it comes to dealing with thier feelings and insecurities and a multitude of other things- i am nonetheless attracted to them still. thankyou girl.

roasted anything is bound to be good.

photographs are pretty amazing. time is pretty amazing. when do you decide you’re satisfied?

i’ve been sleeping too much. i’ve been dreaming too much. should i be afraid of getting lost in my dreams?

when i get drunk i like pretending its the first time i got drunk. i can tell myself i got drunk for the first time a whole lot this week.

i think people are funny. i think people who think that they’ve got it figured out are funny. i think people that think they’re the happiest they’ve ever been are funny. i think people who think that partying is the best thing life has to offer are funny. i think people who dont read books are funny. i think people that dont dream are funny. i think people who judge are funny. people are funy.

i like clothes. it reassures me that the happiness my money brings me eventually loses its cool.

if i could find a girl that would give me all the sex i wanted and still be my friend- i’d marry her.

i like lights. esp green, blue, and red ones.

i wish i could fly a kite and chicks would dig it.

i want a bed of grass. soft grass. id get good sleep.

noises are scary. sometimes.

alright im tired. night.

Comilation of posts: Nov 4-Dec 6

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

my head hurts.
Current mood: drunk
ugh. my head hurts. i need to chill out. you hear me? lemme chill.
2:25 AM

Friday, December 02, 2005

resort.

we drank the biggest bottle of yeager they had to offer. we were rockstars. we were drunk. we went to the resort. we continued to drink until we saw stars. we danced with the stars. we got it on with all the beautiful women. four hours later we called it a night. i woke up on the floor of my kitchen.
12:50 PM

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

shower. fresh.

i was in the shower and i was like wow. i make alot of mistakes. no big deal as long as i learn from my mistakes. and i was like whoa. the more mistakes i make the more i’ll learn. thats a nice concept. but im not convinced its flawless.

on another note. people need to look fresh. get fresh.
3:46 PM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

bugs in my shoes
alright. i love this weather. my fingers and hands are all dried up and what not. i get to where multiple layers. woo. my parents are 1100 miles away while i spend thanksgiving otherwise alone. friends are great. i realized animals are super high mantainence. buttt… music is really good. um. being alone for a week isnt so bad.

i wish the leaves were falling. that would be real nice. a nice coat of snow would also be great. buuuttt its florida and those little things no longer exist. being 19 is a pretty random age. you get no additional responsibilities, no one takes you seriously, everyone expects you to be an adult, etc., its great.

8:44 PM

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

alright,
alright so today i started off feeling restless. and than it grew. so im gonna just type: FUCK
9:28 AM

Monday, November 21, 2005

right said fred. too sexy.
bunch of guys get drunk, strip off thier clothes and sing “im too sexy” infront of a bar for karioke night. i happened to be apart of the choas. it was cool. after i somehow order forty dollars worth of sushi, the night was not over. oh no. time to down the rest of a bottle, and top it off with some blunt tokeage. my world was udderly unrecognizeable. i was watching as people in their drunkeness attempted to disassemble my jeep. removing the doors, and the top , and whatever else against my drunk wishes. eh. to say the least i dont know how i made it home that night
Currently listening:
Gutter Phenomenon
By Every Time I Die
Release date: 23 August, 2005
11:18 AM

Friday, November 04, 2005

Pre-game, GAMED, post-gamed, POST post-gamed. WOW

alright. so wednesday night. dude. i love sushi. like i love women. not as much but you get the idea. so here it is.

Mailbu, gingerale, poolside conversations, karioke, sushi bar (BUT NO SUSHI!), smashed people singing wonderfully, long island ice tea, key lime shots, greatful deads, etc etc, yum yum people putting chop sticks where they dont belong, hooting, hollaring, laughing, smiling, drunk sake drinkers, order PAPA JOHNS at a resturant and eat it. realize wow im tanked, but far from done. say goodnight to the ladies.

hit up a bar. i know that dude.AMBERBOCK, irish car bombs, Yeager Bombs, yum yum, tasty pussies, more beer, pool sharks, watching ugly chicks get really really pretty, beligerent behavior, chicken wings, juke box, high fives, talking to townies, hitting on their girl friends, watching them get real mad, watching us not care, watching it escalate, keeping my mouth shut, watching my friends run thier mouth, WELCOME TO PALM BEACH MOTHER FUCKER, run. get into the car. watch ten grown men chase after us and karate chop our car. we want revenge. go back. they fled. watch anger build and hands fly through giant glass windows. multiple glass windows. bleeding. bad idea. run back to the car. drive home.

post-post-gamed. finished off the malibu. dont remeber how i got to bed.woke up. WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

HALLOWEEN PARTY BASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 05

ok. so. this is how it went down. what the hell are we gonna do tonight? its halloween. um. last night i had a rockin time at that bonfire. hell yea. lets have another bonfire. yea. you think we should refill the keg? dude why the hell not.

that was the beginning to a hello-sweet night.

KEGS. MORE KEGS. BEER BONGS. MORE BEER BONGS. girls, girls, girls, costumes, a roarin bonfire, PLENTY of people i like, smiling, laughing, drunkkkkk, free fire wood compliments of wilma, loud music, yelling, KEG STANDs, first timers, ninjas, kissing, smoking, i know that dude.

then. some stupid kid shows up. starts shit. runs his mouth. all hell breaks loose. they lose. we dominate. he sends some kids to show us a lesson. at our party. bad idea.

Mr. Six-foot-five, 300 pounds rolls up with a posse and a two by four in hand. hes really cool. Mr. Confederate army tells everyone at the party that hes gonna find the kid that hit his boy even if hes got to fight everyone till he finds him. pushin people around yellin etc., BELIGERENT is the ONLY word i can think of. and no one likes beligerent. sooo. we convince him that hes definately a pussy if hes holding a two by four. he puts it down. cut to the chase. HE FUCKIN GOT HIS ASS BEAT BY EVERYONE. and i dont feel bad. this giant was on the ground and lost quicker than i can blink. it makes me feel so good that stupid people lose.

to everyone there: WHAT A FUCKIN NIGHT.
11:28 AM

Compilation of posts: Oct 9- Nov 2

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

HALLOWEEN PARTY BASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 05

ok. so. this is how it went down. what the hell are we gonna do tonight? its halloween. um. last night i had a rockin time at that bonfire. hell yea. lets have another bonfire. yea. you think we should refill the keg? dude why the hell not.

that was the beginning to a hello-sweet night.

KEGS. MORE KEGS. BEER BONGS. MORE BEER BONGS. girls, girls, girls, costumes, a roarin bonfire, PLENTY of people i like, smiling, laughing, drunkkkkk, free fire wood compliments of wilma, loud music, yelling, KEG STANDs, first timers, ninjas, kissing, smoking, i know that dude.

then. some stupid kid shows up. starts shit. runs his mouth. all hell breaks loose. they lose. we dominate. he sends some kids to show us a lesson. at our party. bad idea.

Mr. Six-foot-five, 300 pounds rolls up with a posse and a two by four in hand. hes really cool. Mr. Confederate army tells everyone at the party that hes gonna find the kid that hit his boy even if hes got to fight everyone till he finds him. pushin people around yellin etc., BELIGERENT is the ONLY word i can think of. and no one likes beligerent. sooo. we convince him that hes definately a pussy if hes holding a two by four. he puts it down. cut to the chase. HE FUCKIN GOT HIS ASS BEAT BY EVERYONE. and i dont feel bad. this giant was on the ground and lost quicker than i can blink. it makes me feel so good that stupid people lose.

to everyone there: WHAT A FUCKIN NIGHT.
11:28 AM

Monday, October 31, 2005

kegs, out-of-control, 6 mile expeditions, more kegs, bonfires, off-roading is that it?

find a shell. take it.

keg, house party, women, beer pong, good friends, close friends, best friends, shitloads of liquer,singing songs, smoking joints, smoking bowls, watching eskimo samuri’s chopping the living hell out of everything. including all the red cups. 30 second keg stands. followed by two 2 second kegs stands. cops. oh no. empty the keg? oh no. heres the shell from last night. continue to drink until we realize its late. until we realize clocks are set back an hour. woot. party long and harder. listen to drunk girls try to sing. watching drunk girls lap dance all the drunk men with girlfriends at the party. watching drunk girls get shut down by the sober single guys. evade young drunk girls that want to lose their virginity. watching beer pong. watching drunk kids smoke cigarettes in motorcylce helmets. laughing. alot. wrestleing. breaking glass with my hands. watching girls bathe in my blood. laughing about it. getting tired. hungry. decided it was a great idea to walk home. running, jumping, tripping, swimming, falling, 6miles miles later= pass out infront of my house. wake up from hunger. eat 100 burritos. almost. pass out. wake up at 6. still drunk. watch the sunrise. ask myself wtf am i doing awake at this hour. oh yea jakes got a date. considerate. pick up my jeep. drive home drunk. pass out until i sober up. wake with a smile on my face.

what the hell are you gonna do on a sunday night? bonfire. keg. alot of hurricane demolished wood. gasoline. 25 close friends. offroad. walk on burning embers. get loud. dance. listen to music. eat roasted marshmellows. watch drunk little girls try to make them without igniteing themselves aflame. go hardcore offroading. get stuck. get unstuck. hold on tight. launch girls and friends out of the back of the jeep. try and find them once i realize they arent there anymore. convince people that walking home at that hour and in that condition is not a good idea. take drunk people home. pass out. wake up with blisters on my feet and ash all over my body. look at my jeep and ask myself what the hell did you do last night. beer on the inside and out. half the forests leaves covering the inside. woah cool.

need i say more?

i figured you get the idea.

4:08 PM

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

a selfish blog.

cause its all about me sharing things about myself:

im learning alot. alllooooottt. everyday i am learning more and more about life and myself. ya. and everyday life becomes clearer. not even better. just clearer. Im not afraid of anything. im learning not to be afraid of people, my feelings and other trivial things. I find that my energy could be better used doing contrstructive things to add to the quality and understanding of life, rather than worrying, getting anxiety, and being negetive. so yes. a big change in me. yea ive gone through plenty of changes. oh yea. but they were all external and motivated by all the worng reasons. these are much more real and honest. they are motivated by my desire to achieve and succeed to my full potential. not for the satisfaction of other people, but solely for me.

The people you surround yourself with is a good indicator of the person you strive to be, or be like. The things that motivatate those people and the goals they set for themselves is a good indicator of what motivates you and the goals you have set for yourself. ive resolved to take advantage of knowing that, and take action by surrounding myself with positive uplifting people. i love people but not everyone is heading in the direction i want to go. the goals they set for themselves are not as clear or sound as mine. so yea. while i can maintain relationships with countless people, id rather not spend countless hours with someone whos mentality might just rub me in a way i dont have any desire to go. yeaa. you finish it up.

Routine keeps me focused and motivated. Thats why i must work as often as i do. its not as much that im desperate for money (i need it tho) as much as its keeping myself in a steady routine.

Im reading alot. a shitload. more than ive ever read in my life. more than i ever thought i could read. im currently reading 3 books and listening to another book on CD. I have an overwhelming urge to learn like never before. Im convinced that its based on the premise that i have a desire to be the best mike i can be to myself and to others. In the past two months ive rid myself of countless bad habits that littered my life for years. as a result my quality of life has improved ten fold.

Being healthy has a huge affect on your wellness and how you feel. I realized that i can never expect to think of great things or positive things if i dont physically feel great and nourished. Ive been eating very sound, well balanced meals the past few months and from the start there was an immediate and direct improvement on my mood. I continued to expand on my healthy approach to life to make sure im physically active. When i sit at home and do nothing, i notice im not motivated or excited and i have no real reason to be so. But when i get outside… run, lift, surf, skate, or even take trips and adventures to places ive been meaning to go or see, i find that im more motivated and excited about life. this synergistic effect on me is something i genuinely look forward to everyday. anyway.

so yea. i dont know if i need to go on. thats enough of me for now.

Currently listening:
Back to Bedlam
By James Blunt
Release date: 04 October, 2005
11:36 AM

Sunday, October 09, 2005

I FINALLY ACQUIRED A CELL PHONE.

For all of you who have grown irritated by the lack of communication you’ve recieved from me for the past few months, fret no more. I have a cell phone. and im just as excited as you are. you could make my day and leave an obnoxious message telling me its about time.

561-339-4274

kegs, out-of-control, 6 mile expeditions, more kegs, bonfires, off-roading is that it?

find a shell. take it.

keg, house party, women, beer pong, good friends, close friends, best friends, shitloads of liquer,singing songs, smoking joints, smoking bowls, watching eskimo samuri’s chopping the living hell out of everything. including all the red cups. 30 second keg stands. followed by two 2 second kegs stands. cops. oh no. empty the keg? oh no. heres the shell from last night. continue to drink until we realize its late. until we realize clocks are set back an hour. woot. party long and harder. listen to drunk girls try to sing. watching drunk girls lap dance all the drunk men with girlfriends at the party. watching drunk girls get shut down by the sober single guys. evade young drunk girls that want to lose their virginity. watching beer pong. watching drunk kids smoke cigarettes in motorcylce helmets. laughing. alot. wrestleing. breaking glass with my hands. watching girls bathe in my blood. laughing about it. getting tired. hungry. decided it was a great idea to walk home. running, jumping, tripping, swimming, falling, 6miles miles later= pass out infront of my house. wake up from hunger. eat 100 burritos. almost. pass out. wake up at 6. still drunk. watch the sunrise. ask myself wtf am i doing awake at this hour. oh yea jakes got a date. considerate. pick up my jeep. drive home drunk. pass out until i sober up. wake with a smile on my face.

what the hell are you gonna do on a sunday night? bonfire. keg. alot of hurricane demolished wood. gasoline. 25 close friends. offroad. walk on burning embers. get loud. dance. listen to music. eat roasted marshmellows. watch drunk little girls try to make them without igniteing themselves aflame. go hardcore offroading. get stuck. get unstuck. hold on tight. launch girls and friends out of the back of the jeep. try and find them once i realize they arent there anymore. convince people that walking home at that hour and in that condition is not a good idea. take drunk people home. pass out. wake up with blisters on my feet and ash all over my body. look at my jeep and ask myself what the hell did you do last night. beer on the inside and out. half the forests leaves covering the inside. woah cool.

need i say more?

i figured you get the idea.

a selfish blog.

a selfish blog.
cause its all about me sharing things about myself:

im learning alot. alllooooottt. everyday i am learning more and more about life and myself. ya. and everyday life becomes clearer. not even better. just clearer. Im not afraid of anything. im learning not to be afraid of people, my feelings and other trivial things. I find that my energy could be better used doing contrstructive things to add to the quality and understanding of life, rather than worrying, getting anxiety, and being negetive. so yes. a big change in me. yea ive gone through plenty of changes. oh yea. but they were all external and motivated by all the worng reasons. these are much more real and honest. they are motivated by my desire to achieve and succeed to my full potential. not for the satisfaction of other people, but solely for me.

The people you surround yourself with is a good indicator of the person you strive to be, or be like. The things that motivatate those people and the goals they set for themselves is a good indicator of what motivates you and the goals you have set for yourself. ive resolved to take advantage of knowing that, and take action by surrounding myself with positive uplifting people. i love people but not everyone is heading in the direction i want to go. the goals they set for themselves are not as clear or sound as mine. so yea. while i can maintain relationships with countless people, id rather not spend countless hours with someone whos mentality might just rub me in a way i dont have any desire to go. yeaa. you finish it up.

Routine keeps me focused and motivated. Thats why i must work as often as i do. its not as much that im desperate for money (i need it tho) as much as its keeping myself in a steady routine.

Im reading alot. a shitload. more than ive ever read in my life. more than i ever thought i could read. im currently reading 3 books and listening to another book on CD. I have an overwhelming urge to learn like never before. Im convinced that its based on the premise that i have a desire to be the best mike i can be to myself and to others. In the past two months ive rid myself of countless bad habits that littered my life for years. as a result my quality of life has improved ten fold.

Being healthy has a huge affect on your wellness and how you feel. I realized that i can never expect to think of great things or positive things if i dont physically feel great and nourished. Ive been eating very sound, well balanced meals the past few months and from the start there was an immediate and direct improvement on my mood. I continued to expand on my healthy approach to life to make sure im physically active. When i sit at home and do nothing, i notice im not motivated or excited and i have no real reason to be so. But when i get outside… run, lift, surf, skate, or even take trips and adventures to places ive been meaning to go or see, i find that im more motivated and excited about life. this synergistic effect on me is something i genuinely look forward to everyday. anyway.

so yea. i dont know if i need to go on. thats enough of me for now.

Currently listening:
Back to Bedlam
By James Blunt
Release date: 04 October, 2005
11:36 AM

Compilation of posts: Sept 21- Oct 5

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 

yea. my birthday was yesterday (the 4th) and i dont feel any older. thats alright tho. i spent the last week in NJ. that was refreshing. nice crisp air up there. lots of trees. ha. saw alot of friends that i hadnt seen in almost a year. saw alot of friends that went away for college. had a good time. partied a good part of the time. im glad im home. i got a tattoo. it was an interesting night. This weekend a bunch of us were all shitty and we rolled up into "A1 tattoos" sounds credible right? we woke up the next morning with lips pierced and tattoos. ha. nothing else really exciting.. hm… got a chance to see some really good illegal street racing in philidelphia. that was pretty exciting i suppose. yup. thats about it.

ohh.. and on the way to the airport this morning i accidently deleted allll the pictures of my trip from my digital camera. how FRIGGEN BAD DOES THAT SUCK. i feel sick.

 
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 

We’re singing I believe that lovers should be chained together
And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance

But as for me I’m coming to my final failure
I’ve killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be

Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness

Currently listening:
Every Day and Every Night
By Bright Eyes
Release date: 01 November, 1999
 
Monday, September 26, 2005 

you  can’t out run life. and you can out run its sick cruelity. Ive realized this long ago and its not something that i can every get over. whenever you are holding yourself up you’ve got a thousand other things pulling you down. lifes not fair. you cant outrun the devastation. pray hard.

 
Thursday, September 22, 2005 

A poll:

 

Who likes this music?

 

 
Wednesday, September 21, 2005 

Heres what ive been up to:

So yea… ive been doing alot of working. making some change. its ok tho. I feel productive when i work And im not spending money. so its definately not bad.

Ive been in the gym alot. Im eating more than anyone i know at the moment. um… eager to start serious training. I’ve recently been eating only organic foods. no icky hormones or Antibiotics to poison me. yay. i’d like to say that i feel very healthy. its pretty amazing. I stopped all that partying junk i was doing all summer. i dont know what i was thinking.

oOo incase you didnt already know Elliot Smith is friggen amazing. Also…if your a fan of him… and you havent already… dabble with some Bob Dylan. CLASSIC. god hes good.

Not like i have time for one of those… what do you call them? girlfriends? but sometimes it just gets lonely being by yourself. looking forward to that girl that catches my eye and my heart 😉

Compilation of posts: Aug 6-Sept 15

Thursday, September 15, 2005 

Opinions are a personal thing. Especially critical opinions. The only time you need to voice your opinion is if you are asked to do so. Otherwise you’re just an ass.

I can break it down more if you want. but i think its pretty clear. 

Currently listening:
Andiamo
By Authority Zero
Release date: 29 June, 2004
 
Thursday, September 08, 2005 

Lifes been so good. I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. im not in debt anymore. I have plans. woooo.

ive been hanging out with so many different and new people. there is RARELY a dull moment in my life. and if there is- i made it like that- so i can appreciate how good its been. surfing surfing surfing. this week has been anticipated all summer. gooooood wavess…. so niceee….

this weekend should prove to be a very entertaining one. my gooooood friend has no parental supervision for the weeken 😉 use your imagination and you’ll see where im going with that one.

the only thing im missing are my girls. my girls. where are you?

 
Friday, September 02, 2005 

My eyes can’t believe what they have seen.
In the corner of your room you’ve stockpiled millions of my memories.
Oh Doctor, Doctor, I must have gotten this sick somehow.
I’m going to ask you a series of questions,
And I want them answered on the spot, right now.
Is it serious?
I’m afraid it is.
Am I gonna die?
Well son, death is gonna catch up to all one day,
But yours is coming quicker then ours, then ours.

Some things I may have taken for granted again and again,
well here’s what was said then

Hold your head high heavy heart.
So take a chance and make it big,
Cause it’s the last you’ll ever get.
If we don’t take it, when will we make it?
I make plans to break plans,
And I’ve been planning something big, planning something big, planning.

I’ve never tried to make the best of my time,
When I thought that I had plenty of it.
Is this serious?
I don’t know what to think.
Is it all a lie?
Well one thing is for sure
I’m taken back to the glory days
When we were kids without a brash or bitter thing to say.

Now my life is one big make it, or break it.

Hold your head high heavy heart
Save your strength for the morning after.
So take a chance and make it big,
Cause it’s the last you’ll ever get.
If we don’t take it, when will we make it?
I make plans to break plans,
And I’ve been planning something big, planning something big
So take a chance and make it big,
Cause it’s the last you’ll ever get.
If we don’t take it, when will we make it?
I make plans to break plans,
And I’ve been planning something big, planning something big, planning.

 
Monday, August 29, 2005 

I havent been logging in my thoughts and current events as often as i should. i do tooooo much, too often… but i should start.

SAT- yea… great day. GREAT day. i saw my favorite girls, while swimming and getting drunk, and driving around in my jeep like a mad man. it was grrreattt… but no one wants to hear about that.

 

SUNDAY-

me and my favorite hangout partners bought a few cases of beer and went to kedos bridge. (currently my ongoing favorite sunday pastime) i got… pretty drunk. went swimming. met a bunch of random people. really cool. bunch of people met up with us. so it was great. me and a few dudes and girls went to the mall after i was… feeling really good. so we make our way indoors. i get a phone call. my friend is outside… he almost gets jumped outside the mall. he isnt one to start shit, EVER.. and he was drunk… and it was 5 on him… so naturally… im drunk and i want to find these "thugs" and "talk it out"… so we jump in my jeep… i offroad through some back lawns near the mall and eventually roll up to these kids. before i say anything they taunt me. bad move. i park my jeep on the sidewalk. jump on the hood and proceed to negotiate with the 5 "tough guys". when that didnt work i beat the shit out of everyone. my good friend rolled up 5 sec later and helped me out.  so it was real good. tough guys. all 5. talkin shit. real tough, get thier asses beat by me. it was great. until they got scared and broke pots and shit. which is when the cops came, all 5,  and i was on the ground and hand cuffed and it was real shit. BUT- they let me go and my friend got off. 5 on 2. it was realllllly good. i was drunk so what.

so we celebrated by smoking some reefer and going offroading for the rest of the night- with a brief pizza break at BONZOS. yummy.

 
Thursday, August 25, 2005 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-*sigh*-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

someone.

 

😦

 
Monday, August 22, 2005 

i drink milk alot. its so good. i have it at everymeal. with every cookie, with every dessert. its so smooth and creamy. oOo. milllkkk *drool*

 
Sunday, August 21, 2005 

for her:

I was just bony hands as cold as a winter pole
You held a warm stone out new flowing blood to hold
Oh what a contrast you were
To the brutes in the halls
My timid young fingers held a decent animal.

Over the ramparts you tossed
The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
Tied to a brick
Sweet as a song
The years have been short but the days were long.

Cool of a temperate breeze from dark skies to wet grass
We fell in a field it seems now a thousand summers passed
When our kite lines first crossed
We tied them into knots
And to finally fly apart
We had to cut them off.

Since then it’s been a book you read in reverse
So you understand less as the pages turn
Or a movie so crass
And awkardly cast
That even I could be the star.

I don’t look back as much as a rule
And all this way before murder was cool
But your memory is here and I’d like it to stay
Warm light on a winter day.

Over the ramparts you tossed
The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
Tied to a brick
Sweet as a song
The years have been short but the days go slowly by
Two loose kites falling from the sky
Drawn to the ground and an end to flight.

 
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 

so yea. Ive been chillin. no school. yea. no school. no college? yea. fuck that. I dont have the money right now- NOR do i have any clue as to what i want to do with my life. Im not gonna go to college just to "party it up" cause really ive already done shitloads of that. Why didnt i jump on the bandwagon and go to college like every other teen. well honestly-and if you were one of those people that jumped from highschool to college, thats great. godspeed and many blessings.- but im really not like any other teen. Oh wait. You didnt wanna go cuase you werent smart enough. Thats it. ok. I can do whatever the hell i wanna do. I can get whatever grades i wanna get. I can excel when i want to or i can not give a shit and just not care. Does this mean im not capable. um.. fuck that. I never wanted a generic lifestyle. I never want an ordinary life. I want to squeeze every bit of experience i can get out of it while im alive. I just moved to florida. i want to chill the hell out. I am smart. i do know what is going on in my life and the world. moreso than alot of people. So im chillin in my free time. guitar and reading . Im also working full time like slave and im glad like . Im saving money. I really wanna chill and get my priorities straight. And you know what? its working. I can go to school whenever i want. am i justifying the situation im in? fuck yea.

I want to travel. My goal is to save enough-  and go to europe for…awhile. maybe go to school there. I dont know. I really dont know. I plan on interning at a realtors office, while getting my realtors license. make more money. but the possibilities are endless.

 
 
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 

Summer is ending. quickly.

thats if you look at it from a seasonal standpoint. so dont. Think of it as a life thing. Make summer your life. "Summer, n. 2: A period of fruition, fulfillment, happiness, or beauty. "  😉

 

man. 8 months and $500 later- MY JEEP GETS FIXED. but ill wait another 2 weeks before i see it. hmph. 

music’s been my ongoing inspiration. you should listen to it. its good stuff. Ive arrived at a odd place in my life. im staring at a fork in the road. but i notice several other paths. im checking them out one by one. I hope i find what im looking for cause im not gonna give up looking.

I find that people are so damn judgmental. It hurts to see people being judged- it hurts to be judged. everyone knows this. and everyone seems to do it. im not an exception, i just recognize it. the way you are is constantly being critcized and critiqued. from the shoes you proudly wear , to your favorite vintage belt, to your sandwashed jeans that comfortably developed holes in all the right places. the conversations we carry on, the way we carry them. Your unique vocab may not be up to par with someones standards. Notes are being jotted down on your hygiene- The folds in your shirt are being examined and…….. blah blah. no ones safe. even from the people you love.  God says he doesnt judge anyone until they die. why should i?

 

 
Friday, August 05, 2005 

Im sitting next to dead air while there is a garden of life outside my window. With this wooden chair sapping the life out of my body, i ask myself how much longer ill live. Ill walk and rub my face into the the wind. Skipping the cracks that divide my steps and grabbing onto passing trees. Humming myself a melody and look toward the setting sun- green lawnchairs are great for resting i mumbled. i found that lying in wet grass is more comforting than most feeble arms.

Critical opinions

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Critical Opinions
Opinions are a personal thing. Especially critical opinions. The only time you need to voice your opinion is if you are asked to do so. Otherwise you’re just an ass.

I can break it down more if you want. but i think its pretty clear.

Currently listening:
Andiamo
By Authority Zero
Release date: 29 June, 2004
3:34 PM

Life is good

Thursday, September 08, 2005

woooo
Lifes been so good. I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. im not in debt anymore. I have plans. woooo.
ive been hanging out with so many different and new people. there is RARELY a dull moment in my life. and if there is- i made it like that- so i can appreciate how good its been. surfing surfing surfing. this week has been anticipated all summer. gooooood wavess…. so niceee….

this weekend should prove to be a very entertaining one. my gooooood friend has no parental supervision for the weeken use your imagination and you’ll see where im going with that one.

the only thing im missing are my girls. my girls. where are you?

5:30 PM

Girls, inebriation, mall, off-roading, fight .,

girls, inebriation, mall, off-roading, fight .,

I havent been logging in my thoughts and current events as often as i should. i do tooooo much, too often… but i should start.

SAT- yea… great day. GREAT day. i saw my favorite girls, while swimming and getting drunk, and driving around in my jeep like a mad man. it was grrreattt… but no one wants to hear about that.

SUNDAY-

me and my favorite hangout partners bought a few cases of beer and went to kedos bridge. (currently my ongoing favorite sunday pastime) i got… pretty drunk. went swimming. met a bunch of random people. really cool. bunch of people met up with us. so it was great. me and a few dudes and girls went to the mall after i was… feeling really good. so we make our way indoors. i get a phone call. my friend is outside… he almost gets jumped outside the mall. he isnt one to start shit, EVER.. and he was drunk… and it was 5 on him… so naturally… im drunk and i want to find these “thugs” and “talk it out”… so we jump in my jeep… i offroad through some back lawns near the mall and eventually roll up to these kids. before i say anything they taunt me. bad move. i park my jeep on the sidewalk. jump on the hood and proceed to negotiate with the 5 “tough guys”. when that didnt work i beat the shit out of everyone. my good friend rolled up 5 sec later and helped me out. so it was real good. tough guys. all 5. talkin shit. real tough, get thier asses beat by me. it was great. until they got scared and broke pots and shit. which is when the cops came, all 5, and i was on the ground and hand cuffed and it was real shit. BUT- they let me go and my friend got off. 5 on 2. it was realllllly good. i was drunk so what.

so we celebrated by smoking some reefer and going offroading for the rest of the night- with a brief pizza break at BONZOS. yummy.

8:03 AM

girls, inebriation, mall, off-roading, fight .,

Monday, August 29, 2005

girls, inebriation, mall, off-roading, fight .,
I havent been logging in my thoughts and current events as often as i should. i do tooooo much, too often… but i should start.

SAT- yea… great day. GREAT day. i saw my favorite girls, while swimming and getting drunk, and driving around in my jeep like a mad man. it was grrreattt… but no one wants to hear about that.

SUNDAY-

me and my favorite hangout partners bought a few cases of beer and went to kedos bridge. (currently my ongoing favorite sunday pastime) i got… pretty drunk. went swimming. met a bunch of random people. really cool. bunch of people met up with us. so it was great. me and a few dudes and girls went to the mall after i was… feeling really good. so we make our way indoors. i get a phone call. my friend is outside… he almost gets jumped outside the mall. he isnt one to start shit, EVER.. and he was drunk… and it was 5 on him… so naturally… im drunk and i want to find these “thugs” and “talk it out”… so we jump in my jeep… i offroad through some back lawns near the mall and eventually roll up to these kids. before i say anything they taunt me. bad move. i park my jeep on the sidewalk. jump on the hood and proceed to negotiate with the 5 “tough guys”. when that didnt work i beat the shit out of everyone. my good friend rolled up 5 sec later and helped me out. so it was real good. tough guys. all 5. talkin shit. real tough, get thier asses beat by me. it was great. until they got scared and broke pots and shit. which is when the cops came, all 5, and i was on the ground and hand cuffed and it was real shit. BUT- they let me go and my friend got off. 5 on 2. it was realllllly good. i was drunk so what.

so we celebrated by smoking some reefer and going offroading for the rest of the night- with a brief pizza break at BONZOS. yummy.

8:03 AM

oh yea…. ohh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh yea…. ohh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so yea. Ive been chillin. no school. yea. no school. no college? yea. fuck that. I dont have the money right now- NOR do i have any clue as to what i want to do with my life. Im not gonna go to college just to “party it up” cause really ive already done shitloads of that. Why didnt i jump on the bandwagon and go to college like every other teen. well honestly-and if you were one of those people that jumped from highschool to college, thats great. godspeed and many blessings.- but im really not like any other teen. Oh wait. You didnt wanna go cuase you werent smart enough. Thats it. ok. I can do whatever the hell i wanna do. I can get whatever grades i wanna get. I can excel when i want to or i can not give a shit and just not care. Does this mean im not capable. um.. fuck that. I never wanted a generic lifestyle. I never want an ordinary life. I want to squeeze every bit of experience i can get out of it while im alive. I just moved to florida. i want to chill the hell out. I am smart. i do know what is going on in my life and the world. moreso than alot of people. So im chillin in my free time. guitar and reading . Im also working full time like slave and im glad like . Im saving money. I really wanna chill and get my priorities straight. And you know what? its working. I can go to school whenever i want. am i justifying the situation im in? fuck yea.

I want to travel. My goal is to save enough- and go to europe for…awhile. maybe go to school there. I dont know. I really dont know. I plan on interning at a realtors office, while getting my realtors license. make more money. but the possibilities are endless.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005, 2:52 PM