Compilation of posts: Nov 6-Dec 6

Monday, December 06, 2004 

****all details excluded… cause im lazy**** I somehow found myself off of work saturday. quite a blessing. SATs sat morn. Major bummer… so hard to stay awake for those tests… anyway… i end up going to the bake sale concert… with a special group of people… phil, gada, kate and myself made our way to the concert… and it only took… THREE HOURS…. yea… probably more but im being nice… phil and his amazing directional coordination and phenomenal driving abilities wisked us about palm beach county for roughly three hours before arriving… that was fun… we did some illegal conspicuous activities before the concert… went in… had a jolly time… i must say.. the concert was cool but i had a hello sweet time chillin with phil kate and gada… we bullshitted… talked… chilled… went crazy… got deep… got… RAMBUNCTIOUS.. oh yea… all of the above… afterwards we went to cory’s house where we met up with a junk load of our friends… that was alot of fun… good bonding time with everyone… it was a quality party… a fun time… anyways… woke up this morning… went to church… where i tried staying awake… unsuccessful efforts… bah slept alot today… had killer guitar lessons with brian bell aka " the best guitarist in the friggen world" …slept more

Currently listening:
Give Up
By Postal Service
Release date: 18 February, 2003
 
Thursday, December 02, 2004 

your gonna need a good 15 minutes… but its worth reading it and seeing whats up with the nationally controversial article… Article 1: No Longer a Christian Part 1 Rebutle Article2: No Longer a Christian Part 2

 
Wednesday, December 01, 2004 

*****DRAMATIZATION****** After lifting for 4 1/2 years when my father and i started lifting in our basement 530 everymorning… this lasted for a few years before i realized my passion for the sport and indiviually took it to another level… dec 17 2003 i stopped suddenly… and after losing 20 lbs… i realized i could not go on living without lifting as a part of my life… November 29th i resumed my passion once again… in three months i want to regain almost a years worth of weight lost… and attain my junior year weight of 180lbs… is it possible? 5000 calorie per day diet… lets hope so

 
Thursday, November 25, 2004 

***** The rendition of actual events that Mike encountered on Thanksgiving eve is a DRAMATIZATION.*** November 24th was the beginning of a hell of a night. It started with a bottle… a bottle of Europes finest…Absinthe. My illustrious adventures began with the first bitter… and quite overpowering… sip of the "Green Fairy". (Let me note that absinthe is far from palatable… save anything after your first three drinks ofcourse… at that point you hardly taste anything at all…) After the first drink… followed up by 4 others… i found myself in an invigorated… lively… state of mind… not drunk whatsoever might i add… but more… enlightened… my bones felt stronger… i had reason… and there was a clearness that draped over my body. Over a period of several hours.. with my two close friends… we slipped into our "absinthical" state of minds and enjoyed the wee hours of the morn. and i mean WEE. like 300 AM wee. We mixed the 140 proof liquor (absinthe) with other parts and ingredients that are recommended to help induce a more pleasureable experience…. and to sweeten and lullify the harsh bitter,herbal taste of this exotic drink. Around 1:30 ish… i go online.. and inspect my buddylist… i talk to random ppl… who are also quite intoxicated… and write random messages and emails to ppl. (very intelligle i must add. I suprised myself at my conherent sentences and writing abilities.. even at the state i did reach.) one of the friends left. *pout*. but by chance we picked up one more. who left after a thirty minute roundabout and a stop at the only convenient store open. Walgreens. (a stores not convenient when they arent open… so i thank walgreens so staying true to thier covenient store heritage). So friend number 3 is tired and me and friend number one are not. so number 3 goes home. *pout once more* so im left with a jeep. My closest friend… and…accomplice and Five quite powerful drinks flowing throughout my body. first. lets do the math. Powerful all terrain vehicle that can smash through anything and ride over everything. CHECK. A friend who can coax and encourage bahavior you might not otherwise do by yourself becuase its foolish, but do it because they make you confident in your abilities to survive and conquer anything. Even Death. CHECK. A Foriegn pyschedelic liquor that serverly depresses the majority of your inhibitions and opens your mind in a way that you never thought possible. CHECK Jeep Friend Foreign liquor= TROUBLE (aka hello fun) sOOO….. we decide to go off roading. And i mean. Off roading. we didnt use roads.. oh no. roads are overplayed. everyone uses roads. not us. Hm… bushes.. no problem. "i dont wanna turn around. lets go through a yard to get to that road" "it says DO NO ENTER. Lets check it out." ETC., We traveled… many many hours in the jeep. everywhere. jupiter is no mystery to me any longer. Actually. South florida in general.anyway… continuing along…. 545 in the morning. Driving through a hello-big field. driving over hello-big mounds of dirt and debris… fun… well.. i just get done goin over a giant pile and… i go to switch gears.. but my clutch doesnt work. so im like. wtf. i pop it into neutral. fiddle with it. im at my wits end… and scared. my precious bulldog of a jeep is servely injured. my friend jumps on it and does his best to figure it out. we are in the middle of a field of dirt/ mud/ valleys/ mounds… offroad paradise. with a jeep. that doesnt work. im not even gonna tell you what i was thinking. but i put it in first and started the car in first whilst giving it gas. IT MOVED AND WE WERE OFF. my friend was standing and watching as i was driving off yelling to him" im not stopping you better run and jump in" so… he skidattled his way after me and jumped in. whatev. The ride home was very… scary. We could not stop in fear of not starting again. so….we get home in like 1st gear. check it out. some hydraulic line from the clutch to the transmission is BROKE. cracked. over worn. whatever. so. im fucked. 630 in the morning. im like… uh i need to go home.. i go home.. i havent checked in with my rents all night. i set myself up for trouble. i walk in the house 630 in the morn. and who do i see. my father. yes. my. militeristic christian moral father. and im not even gonna tell you what ge said to me. but it wasnt healthy. not at all. i was tired and it didnt matter. my jeep was broke. poo. -MIchael Sean-

 
Thursday, November 25, 2004 

Me frigen blabbing about shit most "men" wouldn’t dare speak of…cause its not cool…im bored. so bored. so i dont care. Life. Whats up with it. When is it gonna start getting good? is this as good as it gets? Why am i living it alone? do i chose to live it alone? i want to Love. it seems that asking to be loved is too much for some people. i want to enjoy life. i know its possible. I want to get really down to earth with someone. tell them how i feel. and let them know that i do care about their feelings. For me to fall for someone a connections gotta occur. its not enough that im attracted to them. the attractions gotta be there but its that we connect in a way that i am so confident in thier decisions and their intentions with my feelings that i can disreguard my insecurities and trust them. yea. thatd be cool. everytime i do that the girl goes nuts and fucks me over. literally sometimes. anyway. yea i wanna fall in love again. ofcourse im prepared to get hurt. when you fall in love you are setting yourself up for hurt. not always. there are ppl out there who are genuinely loving and would never dare to do anything to compromise thier feelings for you. i need to find someone like that. Id love them like they’ve never been loved before.

 
Tuesday, November 23, 2004 

i met a girl today… whom i was THOROUGHLY impressed with. a rarity. i must say. it was like the "love at first sight" thats so enigmatic and mysterious. i felt like a little school boy. everyone knows what im talking about. the feelings that dont have to fester and grow… but explode and fill you up like they’ve always been there, the instant your eyes lock and hold onto eachothers… those are the feelings everyone looks forward to getting. no matter who you are. and i lovem. anyway… my little emotional rush for the day… that i felt inclined to share. hah.

Currently listening:
Give Up
By Postal Service
Release date: 18 February, 2003
 
Sunday, November 21, 2004 

For people who’ve never heard The postal service… you are missing out deeply… so im giving you an opprotunity to read some lyrics..just cuz

The Postal Service(amazing band)- Such Great Heights

I am thinking it’s a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they’re perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you’re away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great
Heights, ‘come down now,’ they’ll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
‘come down now,’ but we’ll stay…

I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
That frankly will not fly. you will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home

Postal Service, The – Such Great Heights –>

Currently listening:
Give Up
By Postal Service
Release date: 18 February, 2003
 
Saturday, November 13, 2004 

some writing:::

im cold now and my arms are empty
i say im warm and my heart is full but
who am i fooling
when the worlds a barron iceland
all i have is a phone and a sweater to keep me warm
 and ive lost touch with you
youve lost all hope for me
but as long as your content and your arms are full
im ok with that my love
as long as youre warm
ill sit alone and think of you
by the candle you lit that set my heart afire

 

another:

i was drunk from the taste of your lips
and high from the touch of your soft skin
i thought i saw the world in its  perfect state
but i was inebriated with love
now that we’re through im hungover
you left me sick and tired
how i long to be intoxicated with our love once more
but i know id wake up alone and unhappy again
wishing the same dream that left me feeling feeble…
this addicting love is so unhealthy for my mind and soul
your poison is killing me softly.

 
Monday, November 08, 2004 


Current mood:  blank

well.. november 6th 2004 was a historic night… THe drunkest mike has and will ever get… ever… because if i do happen to get any drunker id die….

i dont remember a whole lot after finishing the cuervo… i remember drinking a bottle of cuervo… and… some beer…and jello shots and having a good time the whole night… socializing… you know… doin what people to at partys when they are drunk….being crazy… meeting people.. doin the whole drunk thing… they had a mean slippin slide goin on outside… beer bongs… keg stands all night… everyone was drunk and being straight…  until someone slashed my boys tires… then i got in killer mode… and (not naming any names) a "bunch" of  upset/ pissed off/ crazed "people" went to his house and fucked the shit outta his house… windows and everything.. and his car is in ruins now….. and i have a gaping laceration in my hand with flesh all mangled and hanging out of it… and blood… and then round 300 just when the cops arrived i started throwing my brains up..in the bathtub (KEWL).. interesting… the bathroom was a bloody mess with my blood… and the bathtub was a giant cesspool… i thought i was gonna die… i was so drunk. i was so drunk i could hear everyone talking… but i couldnt see anything… and i couldnt even put words together to talk.. i was like… mentally retarded… my mind and body where completely unattached… i tried my hardest to form words and intelligible sentences/phrases… but it mostly came out in mumbling…  the cops took pity on me… i told them in was all jennifers fault…they found that funny… jen didnt… i was havin a jolly time talking and listening to them as i was passed out throwin up… we had a ball.. they went easy on me tho… not funny was havin to hear my dads voice in the background when he came to pick me up at 400… he wasnt happy… and i was drunk… if you know my dad you just picture his face and look of disgust as he saw his pitiful drunk as hell son tryin to mumble to him… so he was not at all proud of me that night… esp after hearing i was a suspect in the whole rampage ordeal.. im clear tho… soo… .. i cant find my license… i think that the cops thieved it… hm…  soo… i bonded with alot of people that night…. dont remember half of them… i will when i see the people again..i hope… except i do remember grace lauri and lauren.. i remember bonding with them…

what else… i woke up at like 1:00 still half drunk… and im still hungover and sore like crazy..my left hand is mangled… my right hand is like sprained… what i night…some joe shmo tried fighting me… while i had a bat in my hand… what the hell is wrong with people… people really have no common sense when theyre drunk…i shoulda knocked some sense into him..i took pity tho. it was the alcohol.

 

school tomorrow.. cool…

 
Saturday, November 06, 2004 

today… im going to a wedding reception with a special someone.. cool.. i got a slick new outfit so i dont look run down and ill kept. BOXELDER TONIGHT>>>>> HELL YEA>>>>

Currently listening:
Love Light Affection
By Boxelder
Release date: 13 April, 2001

November 25, 2004

Story: Mike’ s Adventures on Absinthe….

***** The rendition of actual events that Mike encountered on Thanksgiving eve is a DRAMATIZATION.***

November 24th was the beginning of a hell of a night.

It started with a bottle… a bottle of Europes finest…Absinthe.

My illustrious adventures began with the first bitter… and quite overpowering… sip of the “Green Fairy”. (Let me note that absinthe is far from palatable… save anything after your first three drinks ofcourse… at that point you hardly taste anything at all…) After the first drink… followed up by 4 others… i found myself in an invigorated… lively… state of mind… not drunk whatsoever might i add… but more… enlightened… my bones felt stronger… i had reason… and there was a clearness that draped over my body. Over a period of several hours.. with my two close friends… we slipped into our “absinthical” state of minds and enjoyed the wee hours of the morn. and i mean WEE. like 300 AM wee. We mixed the 140 proof liquor (absinthe) with other parts and ingredients that are recommended to help induce a more pleasureable experience…. and to sweeten and lullify the harsh bitter,herbal taste of this exotic drink. Around 1:30 ish… i go online.. and inspect my buddylist… i talk to random ppl… who are also quite intoxicated… and write random messages and emails to ppl. (very intelligle i must add. I suprised myself at my conherent sentences and writing abilities.. even at the state i did reach.)

one of the friends left. *pout*. but by chance we picked up one more. who left after a thirty minute roundabout and a stop at the only convenient store open. Walgreens. (a stores not convenient when they arent open… so i thank walgreens so staying true to thier covenient store heritage). So friend number 3 is tired and me and friend number one are not. so number 3 goes home. *pout once more*

so im left with a jeep. My closest friend… and…accomplice and Five quite powerful drinks flowing throughout my body. first. lets do the math.

Powerful all terrain vehicle that can smash through anything and ride over everything. CHECK. A friend who can coax and encourage bahavior you might not otherwise do by yourself becuase its foolish, but do it because they make you confident in your abilities to survive and conquer anything. Even Death. CHECK. A Foriegn pyschedelic liquor that serverly depresses the majority of your inhibitions and opens your mind in a way that you never thought possible. CHECK

Jeep Friend Foreign liquor= TROUBLE (aka hello fun)

sOOO…..
we decide to go off roading. And i mean. Off roading. we didnt use roads.. oh no. roads are overplayed. everyone uses roads. not us.
Hm… bushes.. no problem. “i dont wanna turn around. lets go through a yard to get to that road” “it says DO NO ENTER. Lets check it out.” ETC.,
We traveled… many many hours in the jeep. everywhere. jupiter is no mystery to me any longer. Actually. South florida in general.anyway… continuing along….

545 in the morning. Driving through a hello-big field. driving over hello-big mounds of dirt and debris… fun… well..
i just get done goin over a giant pile and… i go to switch gears.. but my clutch doesnt work. so im like. wtf. i pop it into neutral. fiddle with it. im at my wits end… and scared. my precious bulldog of a jeep is servely injured. my friend jumps on it and does his best to figure it out. we are in the middle of a field of dirt/ mud/ valleys/ mounds… offroad paradise. with a jeep. that doesnt work.

im not even gonna tell you what i was thinking. but i put it in first and started the car in first whilst giving it gas. IT MOVED AND WE WERE OFF. my friend was standing and watching as i was driving off yelling to him” im not stopping you better run and jump in” so… he skidattled his way after me and jumped in. whatev. The ride home was very… scary. We could not stop in fear of not starting again. so….we get home in like 1st gear. check it out. some hydraulic line from the clutch to the transmission is BROKE. cracked. over worn. whatever. so. im fucked.

630 in the morning. im like… uh i need to go home.. i go home.. i havent checked in with my rents all night. i set myself up for trouble. i walk in the house 630 in the morn. and who do i see. my father. yes. my. militeristic christian moral father. and im not even gonna tell you what ge said to me. but it wasnt healthy. not at all. i was tired and it didnt matter. my jeep was broke. poo.

DRUNK AS SHIT

Current mood: blank

well.. november 6th 2004 was a historic night… THe drunkest mike has and will ever get… ever… because if i do happen to get any drunker id die….

i dont remember a whole lot after finishing the cuervo… i remember drinking a bottle of cuervo… and… some beer…and jello shots and having a good time the whole night… socializing… you know… doin what people to at partys when they are drunk….being crazy… meeting people.. doin the whole drunk thing… they had a mean slippin slide goin on outside… beer bongs… keg stands all night… everyone was drunk and being straight… until someone slashed my boys tires… then i got in killer mode… and (not naming any names) a “bunch” of upset/ pissed off/ crazed “people” went to his house and fucked the shit outta his house… windows and everything.. and his car is in ruins now….. and i have a gaping laceration in my hand with flesh all mangled and hanging out of it… and blood… and then round 300 just when the cops arrived i started throwing my brains up..in the bathtub (KEWL).. interesting… the bathroom was a bloody mess with my blood… and the bathtub was a giant cesspool… i thought i was gonna die… i was so drunk. i was so drunk i could hear everyone talking… but i couldnt see anything… and i couldnt even put words together to talk.. i was like… mentally retarded… my mind and body where completely unattached… i tried my hardest to form words and intelligible sentences/phrases… but it mostly came out in mumbling… the cops took pity on me… i told them in was all jennifers fault…they found that funny… jen didnt… i was havin a jolly time talking and listening to them as i was passed out throwin up… we had a ball.. they went easy on me tho… not funny was havin to hear my dads voice in the background when he came to pick me up at 400… he wasnt happy… and i was drunk… if you know my dad you just picture his face and look of disgust as he saw his pitiful drunk as hell son tryin to mumble to him… so he was not at all proud of me that night… esp after hearing i was a suspect in the whole rampage ordeal.. im clear tho… soo… .. i cant find my license… i think that the cops thieved it… hm… soo… i bonded with alot of people that night…. dont remember half of them… i will when i see the people again..i hope… except i do remember grace lauri and lauren.. i remember bonding with them…

what else… i woke up at like 1:00 still half drunk… and im still hungover and sore like crazy..my left hand is mangled… my right hand is like sprained… what i night…some joe shmo tried fighting me… while i had a bat in my hand… what the hell is wrong with people… people really have no common sense when theyre drunk…i shoulda knocked some sense into him..i took pity tho. it was the alcohol.

school tomorrow.. cool…

12:38 AM

Compilation of posts: Oct 31- Nov 5

Friday, November 05, 2004 

A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought forces upon the object which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his purpose (as he necessarily must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph. .

 
Friday, November 05, 2004 

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 
Friday, November 05, 2004 


Current mood:  awake

well… i woke up for school at 630 today… i took a shower got ready… blah blah… i wanted to go surfing today really bad… i looked outside it looked shitty… i called the surf report waves were 1-2 ft occasionally 3ft set… and choppy… more depression… its a friday…. so… i went back to bed… ………………….i have work at 500pm… i get to work like a friggen mexi bussing and get paid POO for it (is 9.00 poo?) i need to find a new job. or two new jobs… although i like pyros… 6.75 aint cuttin shit…………………………. ……..i didnt fail any classes this marking period… and only 1 D… damnit……. ………….when youre hurt? how do you show the person who hurt you? i never like hurting people… but sometimes shoving the brutal truth of their errors in thier face seems to get the point across.. my intentions are never to hurt the person… just show them my hurt… blah blah… emo shit. ………..

Currently listening:
Give Up
By Postal Service
Release date: 18 February, 2003
 
Thursday, November 04, 2004 


Current mood:  anxious

today… i looked for apartments… all day… im starting to realize that its gonna be impossible for me to afford to live in a decent neighborhood free from shootings drug busts and rapes… the search continues… i think we’ll get an additional 4th roomate… we’ll see btw… girls are really dense

Currently listening:
Blue
By Third Eye Blind
Release date: 23 November, 1999
 
Wednesday, November 03, 2004 


Current mood:  chipper

Going out tonight with a special someone… catching something to eat and who knows what else…

stressful week…letting a loved one go is never easy
 

 
Monday, November 01, 2004 


Current mood:  pissed off

Manipulation is the scariest most dangerous tool a person has in thier arsenal of reasoning. You manipulate by using a persons own vocabulary and understanding against them. The victim ends up compromising what they want, which usually coincides with their morals and ethics and logic, for the other persons benefit. The victim ends up rationalizing themselves into contradicting what they initially thought to be true. Manipulation is selfish. Often times its so difficult to decipher as manipulation. Its easy to agree with the person. Once youve learned to see manipulation, and see through manipulation, you actually see a persons true character come into light. THeir selfish desires are revealed and they become ugly.
What pisses me off even more than someone trying to manipulate me, unknowing that i see through the selfish desires, lies, and deceit, is when a person is fully aware that i see through the bullshit and they continue to manipulate. Its unbelieveable. They have no convictions. They dont even think twice about what their saying. They say anything for you to put down your walls that protect your insecurities so a hint of trust can thrive. From that trust spawns the manipulation. What saddens me through it all is that when someone actually continues to manipulate, despite knowing that im not at all stupid and i am fully aware of the circumstances at hand. What happens is a steady decline of trust is lost towards the person… which leads to the demise of any respect for them. Even more hurtful is when someone you love does it.
Someone i loved attempted to manipulate me recently. I saw through it all. I saw a glimpse of thier true character. she continued, completely in denial of the fact that we both knew how wrong she was. She denied me in order to save herself from destruction even though it would have been the right thing to do. Pride and stubborness also upset me. People need to get over themselves. Be real.. and mean it. cut the shit facade that you unveil to the public on a daily basis. It all comes back to insecurities. People will stop at nothing to prevent themselves from being hurt. I hate hurting. But i think its selfish as shit to hurt others in order to save yourself from hurt. Get depressed hurt yourself. Deal withit. Dont let the public know. thats my deepness for today.

Currently listening:
Time Bomb
By Buckcherry
Release date: 27 March, 2001
 
Sunday, October 31, 2004 


Current mood:  crushed

I have yet to find/meet/be with a woman whos willing to be 100% real with me. Women have issues called insecurites. Why the insecurities prevent them from admitting their wrong is another topic that pisses me off. How do you know when you found the one for you? How do you know you havent passed them by already? How do you know you arent in the process of messing up something genuinely good? :confused: Whenever you’re confused just know its the womens fault.