In, but not of, the world

I like the people who lead lives based on their specific calling, their duty, to themselves and their convictions. I don’t really find the company of people who lead lives based on other peoples opinions too satisfying. I like those who live outside the world. outside popular culture. Those who have visions of great things for themselves that require them to blaze the way in unprecedented manners so that others may follow after they’ve reached the end of their conquest and voyage.

Feelings and Emotions

Alright. This is my interpretation of those little critters we call feelings and emotions. I honestly think they are simply indicators. They indicate as to whether or not our thoughts are in line with that we really want. They are like a compass for our true desires. If we think and dwell on the things we want… we feel good. If we think and dwell on the things that we don’t want… or even things that aren’t important… we’ll feel blah.. or bad. You get it? This isn’t me just saying this either. There are plenty of  reasons supporting this.
knowing this…

We absolutely, positively have the power of free thought. That is undebateably true. We ultimately choose what it is we think about on a daily basis. We however do develop habits of thinking. Sometimes bad habits, which would explain why some people feel so bad all the time. They constantly think about things that they don’t want due to poor habits of thinking, which in turn makes them feel bad, even if they really don’t want it. The law of attraction states that whatever it is you give you’re attention to, you will get more of it. Even if its something you dont want. for example: “I don’t want to be sad.” you just gave your attention to being sad. Not being happy, which is what you really want. Mother Theresa knew this concept. She said she’d never attend an anti-war rally, but if there was a peace really she’d go. funny. anyway…
knowing this…

Give your attention to things you want and not only will you be more aware of these things, you will become the thing you want, and you will draw circumstances together to get you the thing you want.
somehow i got off topic.

basically. Don’t trust your feelings. They LIE. alright… so if a girl is everything you want then i mean, its obvious you’ll have feelings for her. and i mean… explore it. obv. but don’t act accordingly to them. Base your actions on principles and values and whats best for everyone. anyway.

A Twentieth-Century Testimony

When I look back on my life nowadays, which I sometimes do, what strikes me most forcibly about it is that what seemed at the time most significant and seductive, seems now most futile and absurd. For instance, success in all of its various guises; being known and being praised; ostensible pleasures, like acquiring money or seducing women, or traveling, going to and fro in the world and up and down in it like Satan, explaining and experiencing whatever Vanity Fair has to offer.”
“In retrospect, all these exercises in self-gratification seem pure fantasy, what Pascal called, “licking the earth.””

-Malcom Muggeridge

I whole-heartedly agree.

Self-Reliance: To friendsand foes

“I shall endeavour to nourish my parents, to support my family, to be the chaste husband of one wife, — but these relations I must fill after a new and unprecedented way. I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men’s, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. — But so you may give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason, when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me, and do the same thing.”

“The populace think that your rejection of popular standards is a rejection of all standard, and mere antinomianism; and the bold sensualist will use the name of philosophy to gild his crimes. But the law of consciousness abides. There are two confessionals, in one or the other of which we must be shriven. You may fulfil your round of duties by clearing yourself in the direct, or in the reflex way. Consider whether you have satisfied your relations to father, mother, cousin, neighbour, town, cat, and dog; whether any of these can upbraid you. But I may also neglect this reflex standard, and absolve me to myself. I have my own stern claims and perfect circle. It denies the name of duty to many offices that are called duties. But if I can discharge its debts, it enables me to dispense with the popular code. If any one imagines that this law is lax, let him keep its commandment one day.”

“And truly it demands something godlike in him who has cast off the common motives of humanity, and has ventured to trust himself for a taskmaster. High be his heart, faithful his will, clear his sight, that he may in good earnest be doctrine, society, law, to himself, that a simple purpose may be to him as strong as iron necessity is to others!”

Emerson.
Self-Reliance

Self-Reliance: To friends and foes

“I shall endeavor to nourish my parents, to support my family, to be the chaste husband of one wife, — but these relations I must fill after a new and unprecedented way. I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men’s, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. — But so you may give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason, when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me, and do the same thing.”

“The populace think that your rejection of popular standards is a rejection of all standard, and mere antinomianism; and the bold sensualist will use the name of philosophy to gild his crimes. But the law of consciousness abides. There are two confessionals, in one or the other of which we must be shriven. You may fulfil your round of duties by clearing yourself in the direct, or in the reflex way. Consider whether you have satisfied your relations to father, mother, cousin, neighbour, town, cat, and dog; whether any of these can upbraid you. But I may also neglect this reflex standard, and absolve me to myself. I have my own stern claims and perfect circle. It denies the name of duty to many offices that are called duties. But if I can discharge its debts, it enables me to dispense with the popular code. If any one imagines that this law is lax, let him keep its commandment one day.”

“And truly it demands something godlike in him who has cast off the common motives of humanity, and has ventured to trust himself for a taskmaster. High be his heart, faithful his will, clear his sight, that he may in good earnest be doctrine, society, law, to himself, that a simple purpose may be to him as strong as iron necessity is to others!”

Emerson.
Self-Reliance

Love is a verb.

“Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.” (stephen covey) Don’t base your relationship around feelings. Feelings come and go like the wind. Love is a choice. As you develope the relationship and nuture it through loving them, you will be rewarded with the feelings of love.

Basically- I want you to know that you have a choice as to whether or not you’re a slave to you’re emotions. Decide to take control and respond accordingly to values, instead of circumstances.

Epistemology

A theory of knowledge.

Interesting when you look at it like this. The knowledge you’ve collected is a direct result of concrete truths you’ve chosen to incorporate into your life, as matters of factual living, and the combination of a belief system you choose to live by on a daily basis. If you educate yourself by furthering the inalienable truths you’re aware of, and you cordinate your belief system to match the strive for your inner utmost desires, you develope a fuller knowledge of the operation of the reality you, ultimately, choose to live in.

Basically, you absorb knowledge based on the reality you decide to build for yourself, however consciously or unconsciously you choose to see it. This again traces back the the desires inside you. In order to achieve these desires, you align yourself with the thinking it takes to get you there. Decisions, decisions.

the magic of believing

“The person with a fixed goal, a clear picture of his desire, or an ideal always before him, causes it, through repetition, to be buried deeply in his subconscious mind and is thus enabled, thanks to its generative and sustaining power, to realize his goal in a minimum of time and with a minimum of physical effort. Just pursue the thought unceasingly. Step by step you will achieve realization, for all your faculties and powers become directed to that end.”

Claude Bristol

me

don’t ever limit yourself. im gonna set out to achieve everything it is i want in life. and people are going to watch me in amazement and ask me how i did it. im going to write books and influence the masses. im going to succeed on a monumental scale. im going to have everything ive ever wanted. i wont stop succeeding until ive reached far beyond what the common mind can dream of. i will be sought after in high and low places. people will pay great sums of money for my time. they will buy my books and go to my seminars and classes to grasp the paradigms i live by. I will find ultimate happiness and true love. i fall in love with someone whomever i desire to fall in love with. i will be a slave to no one. i will work for no one. my efforts will be motivated by my desire to accomplish all of life’s obstacles because nothing is too great and because i know the greatest reward is acheiving my desires through work and a resolved mind. My riches will be a mere reflection of my success. I will read and retain and repeat and continually put into practice these things i believe in. Action will bring me these things. I will share my knowledge with the world due to the overflow of my understanding. Nothing will limit me or hold me back. No one, no thing. Will ever prevent me from attaining these desires deeply embedded into my soul.

‘What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.’-Emerson
‘Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.’- Calvin Cooliage

love

i was thinkin. just because its cool to think. when do you know when you met the one? do you know it? or do you decide it for yourself? hm. i like mature girls who are mature with the feelings. who have thier own life going for them and dont expect me to revolve around them, nor should they be expected to revolve around me. i really like girls who are honest with the feelings and dont play games. who know what they want and go for it. i dunno. i dont like liars. i hate liars. and deception. and anything like that. ew. i think i forgot how to love. i need to be taught again. it sucks when youre afraid. you just coast. nothing too exciting happens. i really like this one girl but im afraid to let myself totally give in. i guess it takes time. ofcourse it does. silly me. psh. anyway. go for your goals.

um. i have these tapes and i listen to them morning noon and night… they reprogram your brain. its crazy. haha. its like… this guy talking to you… and telling you repetively in an appealing manner everything that you want to be. there are different subjects and for instance im on the organizational CD. the guys like. “you are organized. you’re organized because you know to be be effective and accomplish goals things need order” .. and so on and so forth.. just an example… but yea. its cool. anyway. love!

My Opinon on Food, Drugs, and Disease in the US

Our country’s all messed up. The number one thing that stands out in my mind thats predomiately wrong with our country as a whole is the lack on knowledge people have in general. What stands out most noticably at first glance, without speaking to anyone, is incredibly poor health is see people in. 

Obesity. Disgusting. Dont people know how to take care of themselves? the answer honestly is NO. Is it their fault? honestly yes. We place our trust in the government ( a big mistake incase you havent realized). These bimbo’s are pretending controlling a mass of minds trying to get rich. So much goes unnoticed. Especially when they pass you a buck. It disgusts me at the lack of knowledge people have when it comes to the food they readily consume from mass manufacturers and Process plants. first… check this.

The bogus “FOOD AND DRUG Administration” is a joke. I wanna know where in the hell FOOD and DRUGS should ever be supervised together. The top killers of people in the US are 1Heart Disease, 2Cancer, 3Strokes, 4Lung Disease, 5Unitentional Injuries, 6Diabetes but i dont even need to go on.
Think about it:
1Heart disease? Simply Enough…POOR DIET. I dont even need to get into it.
2Cancer? “Cancer experts estimate that changes to our diet could prevent about one in three cancer deaths in the UK. In the western world, many of us eat too many animal fats and not enough fresh fruit and vegetables. This type of diet is known to increase your risk of cancer.” (Copyright Cancer Research UK 2002) My God! Not to mention Carcinogens from SMOKING and eating things that are charred and overcooked.
3Stroke? Once again… DIET. Things that Cause a stroke: Highblood pressure(Diet, Physical-Inactivity, and Stress), Cigarette smoking, Heart disease, and diabetes. All these things can lead to a stroke if they dont kill you first.
4Lung Disease? SMOKING. Obviously.
5Unintentional Injuries? you know.. the usual stuff… like car accidents, drowning, choking on food cause you’re gluttinous and fat and shove too much down your throat. kidding but not really.
6Diabetes? Obesity(Poor Diet), Physical Inactivity, and even certain medications. that the FDA approves. hm.

Its all a joke really. “Last year 2.8 billion prescriptions were filled in the United States. With America’s population standing at 283,477,367 as of January 18, 2001, that’s an average of 9.9 prescriptions filled for each person living in our nation.”(The magazine of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey)
Top Perscription medication sales include treatments for Heart Disease(which includes HighBloodpressure), Painkillers (which i think could be used less frequently if people were healthy and didnt get diseases, plus they’re addicting and half the time they’re sold on the black market), Diabetes, and Mood Stabilizers (which is fucked up cause nothings wrong with people, they just throw them on medication if they dont conform or aren’t Normal. Everyone has problems and its everyones job to help people get through them. Not abandon them and tell them to get meds to get thier head on straight. its all fucked up.)

Food and Drugs. Why are they together?we ingest them both? its sick. The food they serve us is the very thing killing us. they poison us and we need cures for these health problems and wait… the FDA just has the right perscription medication for you! and we keep on fueling that multi BILLION dollar industry. so anyway. The FDA is a conspiracy. They Feed us HORRIBLE food. LIE to us about health and the food they serve us. and then when we get sick they put us on thier FDA approved medications. We dont hear about the ABUNDANT natural remedies that exist throughout the world and that now more than ever we can get online! They just want money and population control.

I heard there were even aids remedies available in multiple cases throughout the past decade that have been chastized incredibly, most likely due to pharmaceutical propaganda. (The Aids Remedy).(Article #2) Who knows though.

i mean even Diet soda is a LIE. Its among an enormous variety of other food and beverages that contain aspartame in order to emlinate sugar calories in their products. You think you are choosing a healthier alternative, when in reality you are slowly killing yourself via methanol alcohol, the convert of aspartame after digestion. Methanol certainly qualifies as an exceptionally toxic substance, even at extremely low doses (Bennett1953, Posner 1975, Roe 1982). A single dose as low as 300-1000 mg/kg, equivalent to only0.85 ounces to 2.85 ounces for a 154 lbs (70 kg) man and much less a child. There is an enormous array of physical and even psychological side effects as a result of indigestion. Read more:Aspartame (Nutrasweet) Toxicity Info Center, Chronic Methanol/Formaldehyde Poisoning From Aspartame .

Yea. I’m all talked out. I’ll talk more later.

 

frustrated

im extremely tired. im sorta blah at the moment. life is beautiful. Think about this. Whatever it is that you give attention to, you’ll get more of it. i mean. think about that. Think about the power you have if you grasp that concept. Whatever thoughts you flood your mind with, that is what you will get. do NOT do the contrary and think about everything you wanna avoid… because in the end yourgiving atttention to the very thing you do not want and you’ll end up getting more of it. its an incredible concept. im still in love with emerson. i swear i wish i could quote the book. i want to shove his works into someones head. His thought processes and intuition operates on a level of sophistication and logic that draws me in. I feel like i can relate to his ramblings. thats all they are usually anyway. rambling about the way he sees things. i love it tho. its amazing. i wish everyone has a chance to take on those thoughts. i dont know what to do with myself right now. not in the means of goals and dreams and ambitions… but of more heartfelt things. i think girls are absolutely amazing. but they operate in ways that i cant spend time to understand. id be spending all my free time trying to wrap my fingers around thier mystery. an impossible feat. im tired. night night.

The Strangest Secret

If you’re a motivated person, or a person with passion and desire, read this material by the amazing speaker and author Earl Nightingale. It will shed some light on whether the current path and methods of living are going to bring you where you want to go. I’ve been studying his work for a few weeks now and it’s absolutely profound knowledge:

The Strangest Secret

By Earl Nightingale

When we say “nearly five percent of men and women achieve success” then we have to define success. The following is the best definition we’ve found: “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”

If a person is working toward a predetermined goal and knows where to go, then that person is successful. If a person does not know which direction they want to go in life, then that person is a failure.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”

Therefore, who succeeds?

The only person who succeeds is the person who is progressively realizing a worthy ideal. The person who says, “I’m going to become this”… and then begins to work toward becoming it.

Have you ever wondered why so many men and women work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular? Why others do not seem to work hard at all and yet get everything? We sometimes think it is the magic touch or pure luck. We often say, “Everything they touch turns to gold.” Have you ever noticed that a person who becomes successful tends to continue this pattern of success? Or on the other hand, how a person who fails seems to continually fail?

Well, the answer is simple — those who succeed have established personal goals.

Success is not the result of making money; making money is the result of success and success is in direct proportion to our service.

Here are five steps that will help you realize success:

1. Establish a definite goal.
2. Stop running yourself down.
3. Do not think of all the reasons why you cannot be successful — instead think of all the reasons why you can achieve success.
4. Trace your emotions back to childhood — discover where you first got the negative idea you would not be successful — face your fears.
5. Renew your self-image by writing a description of the person you want to become — Act the part — You are that person!

George Bernard Shaw said:

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”

Well, that is pretty apparent, isn’t it? And every person who discovered this believed – for a while – that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.

Now, it stands to reason that a person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that’s what he’s thinking about. And we become what we think about.

Conversely, the man who has no goal, who doesn’t know where he’s going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion and anxiety and fear and worry, becomes what he thinks about. His life becomes one of frustration and fear and anxiety and worry.

And if he thinks about nothing…he becomes nothing.

So decide now. What is it you want? Plant your goal in your mind. It’s the most important decision you’ll ever make in your entire life. All you’ve got to do is plant that seed in your mind, care for it, and work steadily toward your goal, and it will become a reality.

How do you begin?

First: It is understanding emotionally as well as intellectually that we literally become what we think about; that we must control our thoughts if we’re to control our lives. It’s understanding fully that…”as ye sow, so shall ye reap.”

Second: It’s cutting away all fetters from the mind and permitting it to soar as it was divinely designed to do. It’s the realization that your limitations are self-imposed and that the opportunities for you today are enormous beyond belief. It’s rising above narrow-minded pettiness and prejudice.

Third: It’s using all your courage to force yourself to think positively on your own problems, to set a definite and clearly defined goal for yourself. To let your marvelous mind think about your goal from all possible angles; to let your imagination speculate freely upon many different possible solutions. To refuse to believe that there are any circumstances sufficiently strong to defeat you in the accomplishment of your purpose. To act promptly and decisively when your course is clear. And to keep constantly aware of the fact that you are, at this moment, standing in the middle of your own “acres of diamonds.”

And fourth: Save at least 10 percent of every dollar you earn.

It’s also remembering that, no matter what your present job, it has enormous possibilities – if, you’re willing to pay the price by keeping these four points in mind:

1. You will become what you think about.
2. Remember the word “imagination” and let your mind begin to soar.
3. Courageously concentrate on your goal every day.
4. Save 10 percent of what you earn.

Finally, take action – ideas are worthless unless we act on them.

check it at(http://www.innovationtools.com/Articles/SuccessDetails.asp?a=87)

girls

NEVER be decieved by women. They are a deathly seductive force to be reckoned with, but listen when i say you can see right through them. I do anyway. Woman dont phase me. Sure they have the power to. but i honestly dont give to much thought to their powers. They have no place in my life. i know what i want, and its usually very specific, and thats about the end of it. I dont believe anything out of a womans mouth. You know why? they never mean what they say. and the only reason they say anything is to convince themselves of what they believe in. Basically… all woman want is a reason to change thier minds. but dont give them a reason if its not good enough… or if the times not right. you shouldnt play games. You need to be secure and confident in yourself and tell them exactly what you think. anyway. ive got alot of love.

and i drove from south miami to jupiter in 55minutes… usually a hour and forty minute drive. woot. and its 4 in the morning. woot.

habits

you ever thought about habits? how completely wasteful habits are? im not talking about routine. no. routine is good. there are reasons backing routine. usually good reasons. im talking about habits. they require no thought whatsoever, just a regurgitated response or action. you actually dont have a good reason or motive for having and doing a habit. you maybe once did. its lost now and you just do it for the sake that you’ve done it in the past. maybe minutes or days or months ago. what im suggesting is next time you do something thats habitual ask yourself a few questions. why am i doing this? is this good for me? and hopefully itll spawn some responses. anyway. i think habits are stupid.

burglary

we got robbed last night. round 500am in abacoa. someone came in the house while we were sleeping and took my mothers purse… but ran after my dog spike, a minature pincher with a badass attitude, started barking uncontrollably waking everyone up. my mother saw the doors, garage doors and such propped open with things. waking my father up they realized the purse was gone and upon further inspection and calling the cops we found the purse on the side of the house, as well as the theifs bike that he left. so he took 10 bucks. and we got his bike. hahaha. loser.

remember to lock your doors.

happy

im excited. ive got this vision and fire inside me thats inextinguishable. its amazing. Ive got these visions and dreams and all this good stuff for my life. I no longer worry or fret or dwell on the past. its the here and now. and doing things that will put me in a better position and closer to where i want to be in the future.. whether it be tomorrow or in a week or next year.

basically im really happy. im not looking around on my journey. im set on my path and im not sloweing down for anyone or anything. obstacles, whatever they may be, are only ggoing to make me stronger.

im just excited. Im on my way.

things that ive learned

People never say what they mean.

and why do i think that? cause i do it and i think everyone in the world does it. it allows the people who really want to figure you out the opprotunity to do so without leaving yourself exposed for the whole world to judge and pick at.
i mean. i think there’s a little more to it but im just summarizing.

another thing.

It’s a shitty thing when people don’t care about other people. its another shitty thing to care about people who dont care about you. but. in the end i feel better knowing that they’ve got someone to listen to them when everyone else’s abandoned them. so i love.

tisk

i realized that trying to hard is too obvious. whether trying to be something or someone or get something or someone or achieve something or go somewhere. in the end… you bring this attention to yourself and people say to themselves… there’s way too much effort involved here. i can almost hear people thinking it to themselves when they see it. when they see it in me. when they see it in others. so what im thinking is dont make yourself change. dont try. what people need is the firm resolve of a determined soul. there is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can curcumvent or hinder or control it. (ella wheeler wilcox.) i dunno. you just need to operate in the subconscious rather than the conscious. you can’t control every little tick-when your consciously in control. so envision it, capture it in your heart, your mind, your soul, so that it becomes imbedded into your being- your subconscious. it will operate on your behalf without you even knowing it. and you will do things so much more cooly and confidently because you wont be exerting any effort.

🙂

i read this today and laughed

i like to park in handicapped spaces
while handicapped people make handicapped faces

hahahahahahahahahahaha

alright so its not that funny… but the mental imagery of the scenario is.

Emerson is AMAZING! gosh i had no idea he was so good. Although he never conceded as ranking with the great philosphers who’ve juggled dogmas or creeds, what made his stand out was his great ability to interpret, rather than create. His writings are articulated and read in a rugged, poised, and concise manner, all while flowing poetically and conherently. He takes the most basic understandings and makes them so profound and spiritual. While your reading you’re just blown away at the perfect perspective he’s taken and is accounted for as he relays his message. Anyway. I’ve read “History” and “Self-Reliance” and both have really opened my eyes to a new light of literature. Maybe before i wasnt so willing to recieve good literature. i need moreeee

i like this

if you do the things you need to do
when you need to do them.
someday.
you can do the things you want to do.
when you want to do them

i love that. and i really do my best to live by that.

i saw everyone that i havent seen in ages the past few days. It was great. i saw alot of people i love dearly. its funny. change is inevitable. i welcome it with open arms. we change. people change. things change. nothing truly stays the same. thats why everyone should welcome change with optimistic open arms. It’ll be good. anywayyy. its good to see everyone.

im reading jerry and esther hicks book ‘the law of attraction: the teachings of abraham” its pretty interesting. I use the word interesting cause i dont know what other word to use in its place. i guess ill go on to describe why i think this. in the first few chapters it talks about all this supernatural energy and channels and stuff. i am trying to reckon it with my conscious. i do believe in the spiritual world. I dont really care what the skeptics believe. Its tooo overwhelmingly positively affirmed that the spiritual world exisits. and quite frankly its just a matter of how much time each person has taken to get in touch with it. i believe its the source of true happiness. BUT. i do ultimately have my faith in God and the Bible.i believe it absolutely contains lifes greatest answers and you know, its easy for someone who hasnt experienced something to judge upon it. and you have to look at all the facts and take steps of faith with each lead in order to grasp the bigger picture. anyway. im trying to figure out if “the teachings of Abraham” are of God or of some other spiritual power thats not of God, but ultimately decieves people into putting thier faith into these entities instead. like demons and what not. i dont know if ive accurately explained what im talking about. im talking about people who are channels with “spirits”. and you ask these spirits whatever you wish and it will provide answers. i mean. im talking about the same spirits that tell those people on tv about the future and the spirits that operate in the all too real game of ouiji. i mean. they exist. and honestly only if you are open to it. and i guess im trying to figure out if these laws of attraction explained in “the law of attraction: the teachings of abraham” will bless me or ruin me. anyway. hm. ill read on and deduct using my reasoning.

love

MOSH

mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mosh, mooosshhhhhhh

NEVER SAY NEVER.

i lvoe my friends. and i love life. and i love doing things i DONT like doing. cause in my mind i forget about how much i dont like doing this…or how much id rather be doing something else.. and think that im building my character and becoming a better person. self sacrifice. all that.
and right now im totally euphoric. i think about the future and whats in store and its amazing. unlimited. UNLIMITED. and i love this new book im reading. in the beginning i was a bit perturbed because of some interesting views and philosophies but all in all the book is full of inspiring power. its called “The Magic of Believeing” by Claude Bristol. anyway. its good.

and i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

and i feel a little bad that i havent seen anyone lately and i havent been keeping in touch with as many people as id like to but the love is still there. Forgive me! im just doing my own thing. and thats the only thing thats gonna get me to where i wanna go. anyway. loveeeee

work

i dont wanna work. or. i dont wanna do something to earn money that takes up the majority of my time and its not even something i enjoy. poo. work ruins everything. not really tho. id be po and in debt if i didnt have a job. actually. i bet i wouldnt have any debt cause i wouldnt putmyself in any position i couldnt afford to be in. ah. mo money mo problems. unless ofcourse you have such an overwhelmingly amount of money that bills and debt are non existent in the sea of accumulated wealth. i want that.

transcendentalism

As John Scotus Erigena put it to Frankish king Charles the Bald in the year 840 A.D., “We do not know what God is. God himself doesn’t know what He is because He is not anything. Literally God is not, because He transcends being.”

deep.

anyway. im very fascinated with transcendentalism at the moment. the ideology, philosphies, and priciples of reality that originated out of american intellects in the 1800’s as a way to figure out through the process of thought, and put the world into a more understandable perspective based on the intuitive and spiritual world- rather than emperical or scientific reasoning. it just fascinated me. anyway. bought a bunch of emerson’s work. i figure if nothing else than to better understand a different perspective of the world i’ll be reading one of the world’s greatest writers. which is something i feel obligated to do. the past few months ive bought literally dozens of books and read them repeatedly.

basically whats got me feeling so good and confident right now is my mindset. its incredible right now. its unwaivering in the deepset determination it has for success and achieving everything in front of it. any obstacle, any fear, any anxiety, and every doubt anyone ever had about my abilities to do it. and most of all… the feeling of stretching my dreams to match the potential i;ve always had, instead of selling myself short- which is what i did for so long and what so many people do. im not saying anybodies any better than anyone else.. honestly i think we’ve all been givin the same potential its just a matter of each of us to realize it for ourselves and put ourselves in a position to maximize our potential to meet every dream we could chalk up for ourselves. and it starts with positive thinking… good feelings… and action. you can talk about your dreams all day and all night but if you do nothing about it, it serves for nothing better than a conversation piece over a cup of coffee. dont be lazy. dont procrastinate. and have faith in yourselves. if you think you’re in a bad position right now that means two things. you thought yourself there… and those thoughts birthed into circumstances. but you have the ability to think yourself into a better position. we always have that power of free choice and free thought.

anyway. i know what i want to do in life. and i know where i want to be. which is HUGE.

What I Want

what i want
right now.. and i mean at this moment…i dont wanna know anyone. i wanna live in a hole and think and do what i want. and read. forever. and honestly drink coffee in a tree. or maybe on some moss surrounded by ferns. and continue reading into the day until i find myself in a flowery grassy meadow where the rivers gurgling is heard not too far off. and i can read and smoke a pipe. and drink tea. and sit under a great tree thats wide and full with life. and ill sit under it in the middle of a field. and maybe that girl will be waiting there. and we’ll sit there and read and reflect and have intelligent conversations. and not worry about time or anything like that. ill have a pocket watch(only for looks) and she’ll be wearing a white dress and ill only be wearing jeans. and ill have long blonde hair and she’ll have long flowing blonde hair. and there will be a path i follow home thats been trodden with barefeet all summer long. i want to be able to breath deep and with every last breath, savor the aroma of life all around me. the nectar and the blossuming flowers and the lush green leaves. i really want to get lost in a book. and nevermind the little bugs that fall onto the pages, but shoo them along and smile. i want to climb trees and pick apples and look at the beautifully pristine blue sky dotted with white cotton clouds and the suns soft rays. i want to look up at lively weathered trees as tall as sky scapers and run through the forest. i want to go home to a cozy cottage with all the necessities and none of the excessities;). i want to have a little wood stove and a little wood table with little wood stools and a little wood desk tucked away in the corner by the window. i want a library and a bedroom lined with decor from my adventures. there will be no wants or needs. i will provide for myself and her. and there will be no distractions. no image. no drama. no lies. no wants. no evil. nothing unecessary or distracting from living a simple and fulfilling life of happiness and the persuit of knowledge and wisdom. i want a pretty little woman with no selfish desires left because ive taken care of all her needs. because i love her. and she’ll love me.

and when i gather all the wisdom a man can carry ill go out into the world and share it with everyone. and everyone will listen because im wise and ill know how to appeal to the longings of their deepest desires.and they will know everything i say to be true because it will be the sweetest thing they’ve every heard. and ill share with them my secrets and many men will find true meaning and they will share this meaning as i have done. and slowly the world will become a better place.

until then. i need to focus on developing myself despite my circumstances so one day this might happen.

🙂

whew

i almost died today. or it felt like it. i trained to the point where i was saturated in blackness from the intensity and repeatedness of being kicked, punched, choked out, or submitted in some fashion. honestly it wasnt as bad as im making it seem but i pushed myself to the limits. and it felt heavenly afterwards. i’d probably compare the euphoria to some drunk meaningless sex. it was that good.

other than that… i accomplished alot of productive, good errands and appointments that i’d been meaning to carry out. woke up.had lunch at pyro’s (yumyum). ran into a friend and had a good talk over lunch. took at friend to school (due to the carless state he’s in as a result of hitting two cop cars on US1 while mildly drunk… yeaaaa.) that was my good deed of the day. went to staples and bought a bunch of stregical supplies that’ll keep me organized and motivated. got a car wash. read. watched a motivational movie. met more ppl for more food and more lunch. went to school. scheduled the last of my credits so i can get my goddamn diploma and go to college.(hopefully that’ll be over and done with in a few weeks) relaxed. ate some more. went to my martial arts class. pushed myself hard as living hell. and now im chillin. that is a damn productive day in my book.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Those who cannot tell what they desire or expect, still sigh and struggle with indefinite thoughts and vast wishes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson